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Date: October 9, 2022
I would say no thank you
Don't fix it. Move on. She's playing you.
Hug her, hold her. Tell her that you're there for her and that you're sorry. That's about it. Hold her when she cries, be accepting of the fact that she might be stressed/on edge/ act out being she is sad.
BUT
I have dealt with it so much in life from age 5 when my great grand father died while I was staying over, to a friend in kindergarten getting mauled by two dogs in front of me, to at age 28 finding my best friend who had committed suicide in his apartment, and more.
You have a traumatic past and it has left you unable to comprehend or experience common human emotion. You have witnessed violence and horror really reserved for soldiers… it is likely you have PTSD.
I would highly recommend therapy. It will only help.
I'm 58, and from my experience, when a relationship surpasses 3 years with no progress at all, like engagement, mariage, moving in, this generally becomes a bad sign, and generally the relationship starts crumbling back slowly, I said generally not always, why ? because a stagnant river finally becomes polluted. The water must always move forward in order for the microbes not to grow and multiply. It's the same scenario in a relationship. It should always go forward… and develops, until death takes you apart.
And how tall are you? Because I was expecting something around 150kg+ from the way you talked about it.
I guess what I was trying to say is I don’t think I would move back with my mom. So the fear of being alone with nowhere to really go is influencing my decisions. But I like your point of view thanks.
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Zero gifts for you? Sex once.
Why do you think you are dating?
Honestly, I would just tell her you are busy or sick for New Years and find a friend's place thatbyou can hang out at.
DO NOT BUY HER ONE MORE DAMN THING. DO NOT PAY FOR HER TO DO ANYTHING ON NEW YEARS.
I am kind of curious what she would do if you showed up for an event with her and then claimed that your wallet was missing. Maybe stolen. If you can pay using your phone then your phone goes missing…
If you already have plans for New Years try this. There is no downside. Maybe she will pay for the evening. If not, just don't buy anything. At all.
Stop sucking him off
It might cause anxiety to have the discussion but that would do the same to any couple in a relationship having a constructive conversation – it's inherently a little stressful. But just be gentle in the approach and just say you aren't criticizing, it was an observation, and it made you feel (insert how you felt) whether that was her intention or not. Ask her why she was constantly looking around, was she upset/stressed/high anxiety? Have her explain her feelings & her side. Ask what you can do to mitigate those feelings if she's stressed/anxious.
It's early on in the relationship, communication is always key. Just don't come across like an ass and you should be good.
Huh. At 24 I was be okay dating roughly up to 28 or 29, but not below 22 – the differences in maturity between 20 and 24 were too staggering to me.
Gotta examine why she's withdrawn so much. Whether it is your fault or not, something has driven a wedge. If you want to fix these issues you must address how you feel and what you feel has changed.
If you're done, you're done. The next steps are moving out and formalizing the custody and support agreements. Call a lawyer.
Here are pages for support
r/raisedbynarcissists
r/NarcissisticAbuse
r/justnomil
I had to go NO CONTACT for my own sanity. It's been 9 years and I wish I would have done it sooner.
Have you had an actual conversation with him about why you doesn't feel comfortable with you using his stuff?
I feel like you might have gone 0 to 60 here without considering a lot of steps in between.
Or Hostel, the one set in eastern Europe…
Seriously whoever on Reddit coined the word hobosexual is my favorite because it describes so many dudes who are posted about here.
When you think about this woman, do you want marriage and a future with her? How close are these friends to you?
He knows how much this would mean to you and is choosing to ignore it.
That's the biggest red flag there is. You don't want to be a side piece to his life.
Heed your friends' advice and dump his ass.
might will
You are no longer her bf.
Take some time to adjust with moving in then see how you feel. I was really nervous moving in with my boyfriend. I didn’t know what to expect and now I honestly love it.
Listen to your gut feelings don’t ignore them. You just don’t want to make an impulsive decision so soon, you want to be sure.
I mean, yeah. That is how it works in Syria. You either accept his demands or its over. I'd suggest its over is a better outcome.
Is it a problem to have sex daily?
Yes he said hi. I acknowledge that but a normal hi and a not looking in someone's direction/ignoring a person hi is very different
What kind of lesson do you think you abusing her taught her? What the actual fuck?
Two choices:
Either he’s embarrassed about what happened and he’ll eventually get over it (or won’t) and things’ll be fine (or they won’t).
Or he was just using you to get off. Which would really suck. Did he offer to do anything for you? Go down on you? Anything like that?
Oh darling I'm so sorry you're going through this. There is NOTHING special about him, and you DON”T need to find anyone else attractive in order to know you deserve respect and leave. That will come with time. You might want to start therapy or reading self help books about choosing bad guys, being drawn back and feeling addicted to abusive behavior is part of the abuse cycle, and you're caught deep in it. I'm so sorry, good luck.
You’re wife comes first if you want to stay married.