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Date: November 3, 2022
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How the fuck did I forget that band?
They were one of the last mainstream CDs I purchased!
Edited for readability:
This is all sort of a doozy, so apologies in advance for anything that doesn’t seem to make sense. It doesn’t really make sense to me, hence why I’m coming here and seeking advice on how to move past this. I have been with my husband (DH) for ten years, married for five. He introduced me to his extended family early on, making it clear that his uncles and aunts and cousins are all very important to him and that they are very close as a large family. From the beginning I’ve gotten along with every family member I’ve met—I’ve been sweet, beyond cordial, and the first one to offer to clean after a celebration or bring a dish to share for a party. Until about six week ago, I have had no real “drama” with any of these people. One cousin who is close in age to my husband and me, Marmot, is kind of a lot as a person—there is literally not a single person we mutually know who she hasn’t shit talked extensively to me and she’s done a few things to me (unexpectedly leaving me stuck with expensive restaurant and hotel bills costing me upwards of $2k) that have made me realize I cannot trust her fully. After I gently confronted her after the first incident, she lied to my face and refused to take any personal responsibility, so I quickly learned the smartest thing I can do is enjoy her company when it’s positive and understand she’ll never be a real friend. Marmot’s brother, Husband’s cousin Zebra, started dating a girl, Kangaroo, about four years ago. From the start Husband said she was trouble and emotionally manipulating the entire family, including Zebra. I was excited to potentially have a girlFRIEND in the family, so I pushed aside Husband’s warnings, and those of my close girlfriends, who also met her and said she was not a good person. She is hopelessly insecure and she and Zebra constantly lie to each other. Moreover, she has always battled with Zebra’s mom Lemur and his sister Marmot. I totally understand what it’s like to be in an enmeshed family, so whenever Kangaroo would vent to me about Lemur, I tried to be an open ear while also making it clear that I had never seen Lemur be anything but kind to her. When Marmot would come up in these (and this is probably my biggest error) vent sessions, I usually said nothing but once did mention that Marmot has hurt my feelings in the past, so I did understand that she was in a tough place. Six weeks ago, about a week after I had casual drinks with Kangaroo and mostly chatted about potential wedding plans, Zebra called Husband screaming that I ruined his life. According to him, I… Told Kangaroo that Zebra routinely hung out with an ex of his Baited Kangaroo into talking shit about Marmot and Lemur, and that actually she loved them until I tried to convince her they were evil Have had secret meetings with Marmot and Lemur, which Marmot confirmed, to specifically talk shit about and make them hate Kangaroo Literally none of it’s true. I am far from a perfect human and am willing to take personal responsibility when it’s time, but these are all lies. Thankfully I have an amazing husband and Husband told Zebra to fuck off with his lies. Zebra ended the call saying it was all really unfortunate, because he liked me, and he wanted Husband and him to “be cool” again. Husband reiterated that anyone who made up or was complicit in lies about his wife was not welcome in his life. I got a text from Marmot a few days later saying that I betrayed her and to not contact her for several months and “maybe” we can work this out then. Her mother Lemur who cried to me at my rehearsal dinner thanking me for what I’ve done for the family and father Pangolin, who told Husband he gives him more respect than his own son, have totally ghosted us. Typing all of this out seems to make it clear that these people are absolutely nuts. They’re known liars, and this time they’re lying at and about me. And yet I’m having so much trouble letting go. These are people I’ve had fun with, shared holiday memories with, had at my wedding. I’ve never been treated like this and I’m having trouble coping and moving on. HELP!!