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Date: October 5, 2022
now you feel guilty? after helping him cheat? why did it take you this long to consider her feelings?
tell her, but don’t do it as a means to absolve your guilt. she shouldn’t forgive you.
I understand how a change like this can make you insecure because you might’ve never had to deal with a situation like this. Despite that, you have been together for two years. Trust him.
Don’t.
So he’s supposed to pay all the bills AND do all the housework while you fuck around on your hobby?
You sound miserable to be married to.
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Seriously. Man up bro. I wouldn't have even gone. You should have just let her enjoy herself. If things were going truly good, just because she's indulging in parties with work why are you getting so upset about it? Imagine how it would look for her if she invited you, then just sat cradling you all night to her colleagues. People are allowed to online and breath. Tell me to shut the fuck up if you wish but getting upset over that. Telling her, then writing a post about it. Cmon man.
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To all commenting, chill a bit. This person is asking for advice. They messed up drinking too much and the man’s actions to help her were his choice. We don’t need to tear people down.
Now, OP, stop hanging out with him. Does he know what his wife texts you? If anything, let him know that your friendship is upsetting her and he needs to do his part with her. And yeah. Take a massive step back and stay out of it moving forward.
If you ask him to stop responding in front of you then you are bordering into the controlling territory. You said it yourself, he isn't the person to cheat. The only thing he sends them is a blank picture or something with low value.
The problem is the insecurity and jealousy that you have. That's not a bad thing considering where it came from, but it's yours to deal with. Therapy could help with that. You should talk about it with him as well, but don't tell him to not do certain things because it makes you jealous, as your jealousy is your problem and you don't really get a say about him texting other people.
I'm sorry if it came across as harsh, I don't mean for it to do so, I'm not natively english so finding words is quite very hot sometimes ?
do me a favor and log out for the year
The relationship is over. You just don't know it yet. Absolutely don't move in together.
Anytime anybody asks for an open-relationship than it's over. The “asker” might gaslight or try to make you out to be a bad guy, as I've heard in many stories, it's obvious that she doesn't have the same morals that you do. Even if she refrains herself from doing, there's something in her that won't mesh with you.
What's going to be next? You left the condom inside of her and you guys spent 2 hours fishing it out????
Your gf HAS NO CONCEPT OF BOUNDARIES.
SOMETHING YOU WILL SHARE IN CONFIDENCE WILL BE SHARED TO EVERYONE SHE TALKS TO.
AND I HATE CROCODILE ? TEARS. F$CKING MANIPULATIVE.
Advice???? BREAK IT OFF.
It is bigger than an ant. It is smaller than the Eiffel Tower. You get to decide what you think 🙂
If was me, I'd go for the sinking, but with the thought that I could and would leave if things got too much for me. Be that just stepping out for a few mins or leaving totally.
I guess I worry that he is only agreeing so he doesnt loose me bit I can see that he is kind of sad or disappointed when we have these conversations. If that makes sense.
Laughing isn't a denial, it's just a way to change the subject.
If it's a small place there's probably a limited gene pool to pick from, so rare genetic mutations are going to be a bit more common locally. Ask her who the father is. Have the much less offensive “He looks so much like my husband that I almost thought it was his nephew or something” explanation ready if she gets defensive or the like.
That’s the same page I’m on- a rare a find. Cheers!
I've got full custody, my ex fucked off to Michigan with her new wife she cheated on me with, barely even talks to our children, has seen them twice in the last year.
I never get offended by these sorts of comments because I look around and I'm definitely the exception.
He doesn't want a relationship with you. He wants a relationship with someone else, maybe someone he doesn't even know yet, so he'll keep coming back to you until he finds someone else who will have him. You are perpetual second choice to his wish of someone else, and you are always going to be second choice to “something else” whenever he feel antsy.
That’s tough. One thing I do on long walks is record my thoughts on my phone, whether by text or audio. If you are a writer, it’s a great way to store up ideas that you can use later on. As far as reading goes, maybe there’s another room where you can shut the door and have some peace for an hour, or go to a park or library.
It’s ok to have boundaries. It doesn’t mean you’re limiting.
Not gonna lie, even if the cheating was forgiven I think this would be enough for me to end it. I don’t think any about of fulfilled promises could bring me back from a positive test he caused.
That's sexual harassment. Fire them.
But you don’t want to go either? You don’t like clubs. Couples don’t need to do everything together. And it’s not going to be fun for her if you’re there miserable the whole time. Why should she want you to go and be miserable? So she should pretend that it would be more fun if you’re around so you can decline and feel better or something?
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My gf (25f) and I (26m) moved in together last year. We online in a fairly safe neighborhood, but during the night there are some sketchy drunk men hanging around who also scare me quite honestly. My gf however wasn't really scared to walk alone at night and would say that she's just as strong as those men and can take care of herself. My gf is 5'10″ and works out 2 times a week. She's indeed very strong compared to most women, but she was obviously delusional to think that her strength was comparable to that of an average man. She would even go as far as saying that if someone should be worried for walking alone at night then it should be me as I'm a scrawny 5'9″ man. I thought this was one of the situations where it would be better to just shut up than being correct, so I mostly stopped showing my concerns to her.
Yesterday she went out with some of her friends and called me at 1am that she'll come alone via public transportation (she doesn't have a license). I told her that it's dangerous and I should come pick her up, but she insisted on coming by herself. I couldn't sleep till she came home an hour later. She was so angry at me for not trusting her that she can take care of herself. That was when I decided to demonstrate her the disparity between the strength of men and women. She thought I was joking at first but when she realized that I was dead serious, she happily took the opportunity to prove how wrong I was. I basically told her to ground me as very hot as she can, and then I quickly got out of her grip and grounded her for several minutes till she surrendered. She cried a lot throughout this whole time and I could also see the fear in her eyes, even though she knew very well that I would never hurt her. I humiliated her. I slept on the couch that night. She didn't want to talk about it in the morning and said that she's fine, but she's still obviously very upset about it. I feel horrible that I've shattered her confidence like that, and I don't think she will ever feel safe walking alone at night again. I'm probably a really horrible person for doing that and I wish I could had just trusted her more to take care of herself. I know this relationship is probably over, but is there anything I could do to make up for it?
tl;dr: I demonstrated to my gf the disparity between the strength of men and women trying teach her a lesson. I humiliated and shattered her confidence in the process and feel terrible for what I did. Can I do something to make up for it?
EDIT: I can't possibly answer all of your comments. What I did was an assault, I admit it. I can't express how sorry I am for doing that. I thought I was doing the right thing, but instead I assaulted her by trying to prevent exactly that. Don't learn from me, but please keep yourself safe out there, if not for you, then for the ones who love you.
Holy crap, your boyfriend is insecure and controlling. He's not capable of being in a healthy relationship. You can't fix this relationship. Dump him and run like hell.
In the future, do not ever appease people like this. You simply encourage more of the behavior.
I agree ?
Ugh. Read your post back. You asked, she said no and then you asked MULTIPLE times more. Do you have any idea how frustrating that must’ve been for her?
No is a complete sentence.
If someone says no, you act like an adult, accept it and move on, you don’t ask them again so many times that they feel like they have to agree to it to either a) get away from you, b) shut you up.
I agree. Lawyers may act like they care (and they may personally) but when it comes to the law, the law does not give a shit. Cheating means nothing to the law.
Because when your profiles are public then you are allowing anyone anywhere to see every detail of your life, and if you are bothered by this then social media gives you the tools to avoid it from happening. I agree that the the ex's behaviour is disturbing, but it is OP the one who is sharing the info with everyone and by extension with the ex.
You are both legally and ethically responsible for your actions while drunk.
You were raped.
When someone shows their true colors DONT IGNORE THEM
Jfc you’re a horrible person