Original post: https://reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/puOkIfCaVa
Hello everyone, I want to say thank you all for your kind comments and advice. I took them all to heart and reached out to a few trusted people. Everyone in my life has been extremely supportive and helping me with finding resources, counseling, etc. My coworkers kept me distracted, and I had a good conversation with one about her own experiences.
I ended up sending him a text explaining why I was breaking up with him, without explicitly stating what it was. Though I did say that he violated me and betrayed my trust, took advantage of me when I was vulnerable, and that I need to leave for my own health and safety, etc.. I said more than that, but I didn’t feel like he should need a real explanation, he should know what he did. But apparently he has no idea what I’m talking about and is confused, saying I blind-sided him. But one of the things he said was really telling, basically that “I’ve done that stuff before” to mean “it was never an issue before” even though I’ve explained to him multiple times. And this time was different.
He also mentioned that he doesn’t understand why I would keep going back to him if I was so hurt and if he was detrimental to my health. He said “that seems like a lie to me.” I’m lying about my feelings? Huh?? Not to mention he also said that me breaking up with him over text was messed up. “Have some decency with yourself.”
When I first got his response, I wondered if I was making the right choice. But I need to get out of my own head and realize that it needed to be done. He doesn’t need to understand it, if he doesn’t see the problem that is a whole problem in itself. He said that would be his last message and that he loves me, and I know where to find him if I change my mind.
All that being said, any opinions on all that or advice in healing and trying to process all this mess? I’ve been given a few book recommendations that I’ll look into, and I will definitely pursue counseling as soon as I can.
Thank you again for all of your help 🙂
submitted by /u/Effectiveending
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