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Date: December 12, 2022
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I think this conflict is exactly why age gaps don't work in relationships. You are at entirely different life stages. At 34, he wants a partner who shares a life with him. At 20, you just want to have fun and explore the world. You aren't wanting the same thing here.
Generally, yeah it would be weird that you don't include your partner with your friends. You don't have to do everything together, but from your post it seems you never bring everyone together. That's just not sustainable. It's so much more fun when everyone in your life can get together without stress.
I lived with my ex for four years after telling him I wanted a divorce. Even had a boyfriend with his knowledge. I stayed until my twins graduated high school because he threatened to ruin me and take my kids if I chose to leave earlier. July 1st I was in my own apartment. If I felt safe leaving, I would have.
you need jesus man
To be honest, it sounds like both of you are gay and nervous and unsure about it. That is not unusual at all I promise you it will be okay if you are. Just go with it now to see how it develops!
OP,
When I was younger, I was a very jealous BF because I was young and dumb. When I met my now wife of over 20 years we talked about everything and anything.
She will point out an attractive woman and say hey, look at her. Then she will look at some guy and say “he has a nice ass”. Do I get jealous, nope, not at all. It is because our love is strong and we both respect each other.
You have to have rules and boundaries in place, it sounds like you have none.
Oh dear, don’t try to “convince” anyone! That’s a terrible way to go about this.
You just have to be honest. Be honest about your feelings, your intentions. Be sincere about your contrition and tell him you want him back.
Be prepared to hear “no”. We don’t always get what we want.
Or maybe he will say “no” and orbit around once he processes things.
But never, ever, EVER try to “convince” anyone to stay with you. You deserve someone who wants to be with you of their own free will. You want to be chosen and that’s very normal and human.
Be honest. It really goes a long way.
Worst case scenario: you’ve learned something about yourself
Kindly, why are you trying to include him in this decision? In your OP, there is little to nothing you’ve written to indicate including him would be healthy – for you.
You need to be selfish right now. He is not a partner. He is unreliable. Per your words, he may be experiencing a psychotic break. Read what you wrote and answer honestly: “how does involving him in this decision benefit me?”
This pregnancy – are you fully prepared to be tied to this guy for the rest of your life? Are you fully prepared to spend years frustrated and watching a child be treated poorly by a suspected narcissist?
Don’t tell him. Take care of you and your future.
You’re not ready to be in a relationship. It’s great you recognize your red flags, but the fact you can’t control them means you’ve done no work to heal.
He will eventually resent being your punching bag.