0 views
Valeria, 24 y.o.
Location:
Room subject:
To Start on-line video press there
Live! Live Sex Chat rooms Valeria
Date: November 25, 2022
The ad code is not a valid HTML code.
Fix the ad code in the Theme options.
Fix the ad code in the Theme options.
Explain to her a little of column A and a little of column B. You might be a bit prudish about it, because of your terms of sexuality and she might be a bit more flagrant about it because of hers. Let her know that you appreciate the overt attention, but that you're perfectly accepting of just a simple hand holding instead of “rip your face off with my face” attention. Nobody likes to see overt attention: gay, straight, whatever, when they're just trying to have a snack and a drink with their SO, so being modest in a social setting is actually a great quality to hold onto.
I can always appreciate the, “get me home, rip my clothes off… etc, mentality” but I would appreciate it more at home, than in some random bar, with a bunch of strangers that at the most don't care and at the least, do.
My husband is also tall and he has a chronic back pain so it’s very difficult for him to stay on top for long. We normally go for spoon or doggy… May be you and your bf can try other positions that’s enjoyable for both?
Good idea. What specifically about her potential future?
leave him
Sorry you’re going through this especially during holidays. At the end she decided to break up and the past is now in the past. You need to find hobbies go to the gym and hang out with friends family etc. And focus on yourself. Everyone has gone through what you went through and it’s never fun. Eventually you will find the one who will respect you and not take you for granted and making you sad by break ups. Good luck op
I’m so very tired of reading about men who are much older than their partners trying to belittle, gaslight, manipulate, coerce and control them. Drop this fossil and find someone your own age who respects you.
It's sounds like he is completely absorbed into his digital world. Even in the height of my shameful World of Warcraft days, I would ONLY play in my gf's presence if she told me to. She said she liked watching me play ?♂️
From what you described, I'm 110% certain he's turned down sex for gaming. That phenomenon, I'll never understand. I'm sorry, OP. ? But don't blame how you're feeling on your BPD. If what I've read is an accurate depiction, you are being severely neglected and the healthiest of minds would have a very hot time.
I’d be thrilled if someone gifted my partner a car. Just saying.
I just can't beliebe he'd do that on purpose. He loves me.
Let's look at that. You say he loves you. But 'you' doesn't want kids, always told him you didn't want kids, he insisted you would change your mind when you 'grew up' (so he knew you weren't 'grown up' enough to make decisions but he was still involved with you?) and here you are at 21 still saying you don't want kids and his response is 'do it or I'll leave you'. Does that sound like something a person who loves you would say? “I don't care if you don't want kids and I don't care if you it would risk your job and I don't care if it would risk your future, he only cares about what he wants, even though it will deeply effect you and impact your life for many, many years. You have people in your life that you love right? Truly, genuinely love? Does that sound right to you? Does that sound like 'love'? Or does it sound horrifyingly selfish and controlling?
'You' likes to go out with friends. But he doesn't like that and won't allow it and forces you to choose between having friends or being in a relationship with him. Does that sound like 'love'? Or does it sound selfish and controlling?
'You' wants to spend a holiday with your mom for the first time in a long time. Because of that, he threw you away. You always spend Christmas with him and the first time in a long time that you don't, he washes his hands of you. Is that 'love'? Or is it selfish and controlling?
Then he's angry with you because you didn't react the way he wanted you to. He had it all planned out in his mind. He – selfishly – wanted you with him for Christmas so he made a plan. He would pretend he was breaking up with you to scare you into doing what he wanted. He deliberately attempted to manipulate you into getting what he wanted. But his plan backfired. It didn't work. He 'fake' broke up with you and you took him at his word. You believed he was being truthful and that he meant what he said so you accepted his break up. His plan backfired!! You were supposed to be scared to lose him!! You were supposed to beg and grovel for him! Now what his he going to do?? His manipulation game didn't work. So, he turns it all around and – completely overlooking that he broke up with you – is now angry that you 'didn't care enough to fight the break up' or whatever fucking nonsense he has cooked up to disguise his initial manipulation and find another way to force you back to him. Does that sound like 'love'? Or does it sound selfish, controlling and manipulative?
'You' doesn't want kids, wants to focus on becoming an adult, wants to get her professional and personal life together, wants to do things with friends, wants to spend holidays with family sometimes. He doesn't 'love' that. He doesn't even 'like' that. And by that I mean you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't even like you. He is slowly turning you into someone entirely different. Someone who does what he wants when he wants it. And he started that process 8 years ago when you were a 13 year old child. And he has been working that process every minute of every day ever since. Bit by bit. Suggestion by suggestion. Angry reaction by angry reaction.
The reason people like him choose very young girls is because they generally haven't formed enough opinions about the world to have faith in their own so when someone who says they 'love' you says “No no, silly, your opinion is just young and stupid. You'll see when you get older like me. Just do what I say until then and you'll be fine.” When other people point out that you're being manipulated, you'll get “Now who should you believe, these random people (like your parents) or me, the person who 'loves' you, takes care of you and looks after you and does so much for you?” You'll get things like “I only tell you this for your own good. It's because I 'love' you that I don't want you hanging out with those people / going out with friends / having a job / want you to hurry up and get pregnant. I'm the only one who really cares about your best interests. Why, I 'love' you so much I even know what's best for you more than you do!”
He doesn't want you to have relationships with other people or have experiences that he isn't in control of because it may cause you to form your own opinions. You might start making comparisons and see that people can be happy in a variety of ways in a variety of settings and a variety of relationships. That you can, in fact, have a very happy life if you choose to be childfree. That you can, in fact, spend some of your holidays with your mom. That you can, in fact, choose to focus on your career and on experiencing more of life before you entertain the idea of having kids. You'll know that because you will have direct experience of it through living a normal fucking life where you experience shit and see people living all kinds of different ways and being perfectly fucking happy about it. If he keeps you in his controlled, sheltered environment than you can really only think and feel whatever he tells you to think and feel.
He 'loves' you the same way you 'loved' your barbie doll when you were a kid. Everything she 'did', everything she 'felt', every 'opinion' she had came from you, not her. She was just an empty plastic thing with no brain and could only do what you decided she would do. He doesn't 'love' you, he loves what he he's turning you into.
I’ve been with my SO since March but we’ve no plans on moving in together anytime soon. I actually just resigned a lease at my current place until May 2024, so probably not until after that. But I’d say a good 1-2 year timeframe should give you plenty of time to decide if moving in with each other is something you’d like to do.
Good grief. Get a job, get rid of him, and find a roommate or two to share expenses.
Thank you so much, I guess I never really think about how crazy people can be. You made me feel a lot better and confident in the situation. He has been acting completely normal so I feel like that helps, Thanks again!
No, come on. This isn’t an appropriate burden to put on two really young children. They don’t need to know that amount of detail and judgement of their father, however rightful it may be. It puts them in a horrible position.
Do t trust the implant, and don't trust “not coming inside her” op thats not safe at all!
It’s something I’ve seen a lot—if you’re being abused, don’t do couples’ counseling. If you google it there’s lots of good information.
One reason is that the therapist doesn’t always have the full picture. OP is sitting there with her controlling partner, and she’s not going to be able to lay it out like she has in this post. He’ll reframe what she says, or she’ll be afraid to give all the info in case he gets mad, etc.
So then if they’re approaching each issue separately and the therapist believes they’re a happy couple just wanting to work on their communication issues, the therapist might side with Controlling Fiancé on a few things. So OP could be sort of coerced into accepting more control under the guise of putting in a good-faith effort to fix a normal but troubled relationship.
Same thing if a husband takes his verbally abusive wife to therapy and they aren’t honest about what’s going on (or he doesn’t know because he grew up with verbal abuse or it’s just been happening so long in his relationship). The therapist could tell the husband not to leave the room during a discussion when actually that’s the only way he has of protecting himself from abuse.
People have weird definitions of being an alcoholic, some just dislike alcohol or have very stereotypical views about it ie. some people believe someone who drinks while gaming is automatically an alcoholic.
Treat it as any other thing you don't wish to be talked about. Tell him you have it under control and to stop pestering you, and if he doesn't stop just don't talk to him.
Why would you wanna be with someone that thinks “it’s okay for me but not for you”
Your husband realized he's with a hoe and now he's rethinking his whole life
Ugh, I doubt that's the sort of thing easily forgotten if it's early doors in the relationship, I'd probably dump him tbh
There is the chance that he made it sound like cheating because he still didn’t realize what had actually happened to him. Maybe he still doesn’t. It could be easier to say he cheated than admitting the sexual assault. You know, the whole jist of the patriatchy “man strong, woman weak”, “a man can’t possibly be raped” and all that bullshit. I honestly woudn’t even know where to start a possible conversation with him about it.
Almost everyone is saying she is controlling you. I don't see that in your texts.
She told you 3 weeks after you both decided to become exclusive. This is a good time to realise what you want and don't want in a relationship. She feels uncomfortable with your ex and that is her right. Also you have the right to tell her you don't want to cut her off.
as she can't learn to accept it in the future.
See, she doesn't want that for her and doesn't say “I forbid you…”. She says “I can't learn to accept it in the future”. That is sooo different. The second sentence is mature.
I also discussed all the topics that need to be said at the beginning of the relationship with my bf. We both agreed on so many things. We also told each other if one is uncomfortable with something, we either come to a compromise or we end it. That's not controlling.
Thank you for your detailed reply. I'll try to answer all of the questions you brought up.
This is not a new conversation she and I have had. We have talked MANY times over the years about what stresses are in the relationship and how we each see them. So to your first question on how did she respond: she was emotionless. At least to my face. She brought up in a fit of anger within the last month that I (or her) should probably move out. That had been a theme in arguments shortly after we first got married. Around the time our oldest was born, she laid out the argument that she felt she shouldn't have ever married me. It's been a number of years since then so I do not recall the exact wording, but the meaning remains. That was when she started bringing up the term divorce in arguments.
Because of the circumstances of our oldest's birth, I sought advice for myself and tried to chalk it up to PPD. As the years went on, she would use that terminology during arguments.
As far as a roadmap: no. We had not lined out what we wanted for a future. We went from discussing if we wanted to get married, when that might be, to within 48 hours, half of the wedding already planned out with her dress bought, ring given to me by her mom, date locked in, and many other plans already in the works. For as long as I've known her, she has had an impetuous streak. But this made me feel completely steamrolled. When I would try to bring up that fact with her, she would laugh it off as her being cute.
As far as asking her to get a job: that discussion took place well before kids were in the picture. And yes, it was revisited many times. Each time I phrased it “when the kids are old enough and don't need you at home full time” or specifically referencing when they were in elementary/primary school, I asked her to consider getting a PT job to help with bills. She does have a medical diagnosis for lupus. And as such, every time anything that would be taxing to her would come up, I would try my best to be sensitive to that fact.
Over the years, her condition has gotten seemingly better to the point she is not on many of the medications she used initially. I have supported her emotionally in her physical journey to fight through that, watching her go from stating she cannot perform certain tasks like general house cleaning or things of that nature, to her essentially wanting to be a physical fitness instructor. I have fought to make clear how proud of her I am in her own fight/journey.
And before comments regarding her having medical conditions hits: I did not place an expectation on her to keep the house clean or be the sole childcare provider. I realize now that agreeing to her being a SAHM implied that expectation. I did what I thought I could to support her with the house work, often seeing her reclean what I had just done or being told I did not clean to her expectations.
My kids have ALWAYS been a top priority for me. And I feel that is why it has taken so long for me to get to this point of actually leaving. I could never dream of a situation where I leave my kids thinking I would not be there for them, love them, or leave them without any resources.
I did end up changing careers a few times. One change was discussed deeply before I made the move because it did put us back financially. Every other career move was to better our collective situation. We did not go on trips often. Once every…maybe 5 or 6 years? We both wanted to travel. We also did not have any kind of regular date night. Despite planning and asking for that to be a regular thing. We often discussed it. And despite best efforts to make things happen…they did not.
As far as the animals: this came up quite often. Every time she would mention wanting a new animal, I expressed my reluctance to bring more pets, regardless of if we already had one of the same species. In addition to having discovered the allergies to so many animals. She would get them regardless. We have not added a new animal in the last 2 years. In fact many of them are old enough that they are approaching the end of their lives. Often that would be a factor of if/when she wanted a new pet.
Within the last year, she did agree to look for a PT job…that has turned into a full time job with the potential for a long term career. I did ask that she consider looking for a PT job when the animals felt more manageable. I was expecting, and worded it as much, her to take 2 to 3 years to think about what she wanted. She took it on herself and found employment that she feels highly satisfied with. And I told her how proud of her I am. Because of how long we and a family lived on just my income, I did not access funds she has brought in.
To your last question: it is a colleague. I made a rule for myself to not date coworkers. For all the obvious reasons. We work together incredibly well. And any additional attraction is mutual.it certainly falls into the category of an emotional affair. The last thing I want is to complicate things. I have told my coworker this. And that any real relationship that could develop would have to wait until after this is processed completely.
Again…thank you for your very detailed reply. It gave me a lot to think on. I hope my answers provide more clarity
I’d strongly recommend NOT dating anyone also employed by your employer.
Is this even for real?
You don't date anyone for a year without hugs and kisses, only for them to start on your 1 year anniversary.
Or you teach the kid that when you have plans and something comes up last minute you don’t just cancel those plans someone else had to benefit yourself. Next time the ask may come sooner, and then it’ll be a different conversation. The fact is that an out of state trip was planned and suggesting that get cancelled for a sleepover is totally unreasonable.
Go to the cops with WHAT!?
Why is he not your EXboyfriend with this sort of behavior?
Definitely this. The wife can move on with her life if she chooses. A 6 year old? Not so much. You created a person, and you sound like her best chance at a good life.
Sleeping over watching a movie at their crib? Nah this chick is mad because he is severely limiting her ability to get some Dick on the side
Email or text her this:
Hi —-,
I really value our friendship, but I think we needed to take a break between our relationship and our friendship. Now we have this strange hybrid that means you are still upset when I go out with other friends. I think it's best if we go no contact for six months, and then in six months see if there is a friendship.
I wish you the best,
—-
It sounds like your wife wants you to give up everything you enjoy and make her the only thing in your world. She sounds self-centered as hell. And for what its worth, cutting you off from your friends and family is a classic warning sign of an abuser.
I mean it's possible she got it ages ago and hasn't had any flair up. It's very common. I think if she has a flare up get her to take the tablets and don't have sex.
HPV has a lot of negative connotations and I can see why someone who hasn't had a flair up might want to keep it secret.
Your best bet is just to talk to her about it, find out why she didn't tell you, but just as an fyi soooo many people have it.
Nah given his response, he meant it the exact way I said he did.
Not Rachel. They were talking about Ross’ marriage to Carol.
Because I love them and apparently so do they with me. Moments of hell and moments of pure happiness… but this is just… cannot comprehend!