You have nothing to apologize for, and sounds like he’s just being insecure and hypocritical. Even if you had been playing with yourself, that’s up to you. It’s your body, your pleasure, and it’s a pretty safe bet that he has the occasional party with the palm sisters himself, shall we say. All of my past partners like to pleasure themselves, sometimes using toys, and that was both with and without my being present. This would be an opportunity for you to stand up for yourself and establish a boundary. What you do with your body, and your pleasure, is your decision, and you could even ask him if he pleasures himself on occasion. As a guy, if he says no, I guarantee he’s lying.
Even after reading his previous post, it doesn't even seem like it was a rejection, this ass just thinks he is more important than what he actually is. How I understand it, he had a one night stand with her, and next morning instead of everyone going their own way like normal people, he took it upon himself to make this big fanfare about how he didn't want anything else and just to remain friends. She was probably cringing in her mind while he was talking because that's awkward af, so she told him she is not interested in being friends and did what any sane person would do, continue on with her day, and his mind made this whole story about how she was so hurt that she couldn't trap him into a relationship and that's why he rejected his generous offer of friendship, so he went to a male friend of her and again came up with this cringey story about how he fucked her and didn't want a relationship and she must be so hurt because now she doesn't wanna accept my offer of friendship (which was not even something he wanted so more cringey..why even insist on that). The friend probably thought this was so effing awkward too and just continued with his life then he still wasn't happy that no one was giving the attention to this important matter..how dare they? So he again contacted her to keep trying to get a reaction out of her and since he couldn't, then he told her that he told her friend and that's when he finally got the reaction he wanted. So now of course that means she was definitely devastated about his rejection because his dick game had to be so good that is impossible that anyone would not be dying to be in a relationship with him.
OP, you are the type of guy we women talk about on a Saturday night, but not for the reasons you think. You would be the “omg I remember that time I ended hooking up with a guy and next morning he was so ridiculous talking about not wanting a relationship and being a friend. Worse part is, he was not even good in bed so it was a total waste of time”…while the rest of the friends cry-laugh and share their own stories. Again, pathetic.
This is this is so creepy it gave me chills, HE CHECKS your location on his phone? This is extremely controlling and not healthy behavior. I literally want to send money to you so you couldn’t get an apartment and get away from this creepy predator.
My dog was “on sale” from a nearby shelter because they were overcrowded and had marked down the adoption fees to $45 for most animals and $15 for those on the euthanasia list.
She is awesome but she has been the most expensive dog I've ever owned, because of her breed and personality and having to buy extra durable toys, a high anxiety crate because she destroyed the other ones, and now planning on offense that would rival a maximum security prison because she can jump the 6 ft one and climb the 10 ft kennel fence we built inside as an alternative.
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how is it your fault? does she gaslight you into believing it is?
be careful that you arent falling for gaslighting and her turning it around on you instead of taking responsibility.
While its noble to want to help, if she doesnt want it shes only going to bring you down too.
Imagine she fell overboard and you jump in with a life ring to save her. If she keeps swimming away or refusing to grab the ring, there's not much you can do to force her. eventually you will run out of energy and drown yourself and it's okay to recognise that you've done all you can and that you need to save yourself before you go under too.
not every relationship we have is compatible enough to be the forever relationship and she's failing at the very basic of being a partner.
just because the superficial surface things are good, it doesnt mean that the incompatibility with the big relationship responsibilities are rendered insignificant. if you are feeling burn out now, it wont get better until she does
His reasons are ridiculous. Of course he doesn’t want them knowing.
Staying with him is agreeing to this broken thinking. One day it will impact you, from other irresponsible thinking. Not to mention you inheriting this debt of luxury.
The age gap here is just completely ridiculous. The level of maturity between you two will be completely different as will be your overall life goals.
If you sont abandon you now, eventually, he will be the one abandoning you, so it's best to end this and find someone in the 29-35 age range. At least with someone of your own generation, you'll avoid some pointless issues.
Is he getting treatment for his addiction? Join SAA.org for support group and 12 step program. Going to a CSAT therapist. Those are the things he needs to do for himself and to make you feel safer.
Sounds like she might be depressed. Talk to her about her. Don't think about or mention money. Find out whats bothering her and what really might solve it.
Plenty of people would say this let’s not pretend. This is a very common sense of humor the comments on this post are so funny. Op your feelings are valid and when you said it bothered you, she should’ve dropped it and apologized. But just bc she said it does not mean she feels it. Does she often make jokes of that kind? Like the kind of jokes that are only okay when everyone laughs but are rude if people don’t?
You're a guest in his home. He should be taking care of these basic chores. It's nice that you help out, but it's really his job. The man is lazy and self centered.
I wouldn't stay with someone who treated me like basic courtesies were an imposition.
I could understand you saying that the chances of finding a healthy sustainable relationship are equal, but I would still argue that the impetus is placed largely on the man, from getting the girl to like him, to asking her out, to keeping her happy. I’m not saying I like these standards but it does seem to me that it’s harder as a man to have self worth when most of your relationships are trying to convince others that you have worth
The way she raged may indicate that OP has a track record of forgetting things and his wife has just had to suck it up previously. This occasion would have been the straw that broke the camels back.
You are not her parent or her boss, so why are you telling her what to do? She will find out definitively whether or not she can get into med school. She doesn’t need you constantly nagging her and telling her she isn’t good enough. People need to be respected enough to succeed or fail on their terms. You are being extremely disrespectful of her.
well careful with that logic. I mean, if that's your motto you'd be opening yourself up for a lot of extortionists.
You have nothing to apologize for, and sounds like he’s just being insecure and hypocritical. Even if you had been playing with yourself, that’s up to you. It’s your body, your pleasure, and it’s a pretty safe bet that he has the occasional party with the palm sisters himself, shall we say. All of my past partners like to pleasure themselves, sometimes using toys, and that was both with and without my being present. This would be an opportunity for you to stand up for yourself and establish a boundary. What you do with your body, and your pleasure, is your decision, and you could even ask him if he pleasures himself on occasion. As a guy, if he says no, I guarantee he’s lying.
Even after reading his previous post, it doesn't even seem like it was a rejection, this ass just thinks he is more important than what he actually is. How I understand it, he had a one night stand with her, and next morning instead of everyone going their own way like normal people, he took it upon himself to make this big fanfare about how he didn't want anything else and just to remain friends. She was probably cringing in her mind while he was talking because that's awkward af, so she told him she is not interested in being friends and did what any sane person would do, continue on with her day, and his mind made this whole story about how she was so hurt that she couldn't trap him into a relationship and that's why he rejected his generous offer of friendship, so he went to a male friend of her and again came up with this cringey story about how he fucked her and didn't want a relationship and she must be so hurt because now she doesn't wanna accept my offer of friendship (which was not even something he wanted so more cringey..why even insist on that). The friend probably thought this was so effing awkward too and just continued with his life then he still wasn't happy that no one was giving the attention to this important matter..how dare they? So he again contacted her to keep trying to get a reaction out of her and since he couldn't, then he told her that he told her friend and that's when he finally got the reaction he wanted. So now of course that means she was definitely devastated about his rejection because his dick game had to be so good that is impossible that anyone would not be dying to be in a relationship with him.
OP, you are the type of guy we women talk about on a Saturday night, but not for the reasons you think. You would be the “omg I remember that time I ended hooking up with a guy and next morning he was so ridiculous talking about not wanting a relationship and being a friend. Worse part is, he was not even good in bed so it was a total waste of time”…while the rest of the friends cry-laugh and share their own stories. Again, pathetic.
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This is this is so creepy it gave me chills, HE CHECKS your location on his phone? This is extremely controlling and not healthy behavior. I literally want to send money to you so you couldn’t get an apartment and get away from this creepy predator.
My dog was “on sale” from a nearby shelter because they were overcrowded and had marked down the adoption fees to $45 for most animals and $15 for those on the euthanasia list.
She is awesome but she has been the most expensive dog I've ever owned, because of her breed and personality and having to buy extra durable toys, a high anxiety crate because she destroyed the other ones, and now planning on offense that would rival a maximum security prison because she can jump the 6 ft one and climb the 10 ft kennel fence we built inside as an alternative.
Hello /u/Far-Emergency5323,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
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That’s exactly what is happening to me, thanks for the advice
You started dating at 20 and ypu are already married???
how is it your fault? does she gaslight you into believing it is?
be careful that you arent falling for gaslighting and her turning it around on you instead of taking responsibility.
While its noble to want to help, if she doesnt want it shes only going to bring you down too.
Imagine she fell overboard and you jump in with a life ring to save her. If she keeps swimming away or refusing to grab the ring, there's not much you can do to force her. eventually you will run out of energy and drown yourself and it's okay to recognise that you've done all you can and that you need to save yourself before you go under too.
not every relationship we have is compatible enough to be the forever relationship and she's failing at the very basic of being a partner.
just because the superficial surface things are good, it doesnt mean that the incompatibility with the big relationship responsibilities are rendered insignificant. if you are feeling burn out now, it wont get better until she does
Your boyfriend is depressed because he lost a friend not because her mom is reaching out to him.
Y E P 🙂
What is the point?
His reasons are ridiculous. Of course he doesn’t want them knowing.
Staying with him is agreeing to this broken thinking. One day it will impact you, from other irresponsible thinking. Not to mention you inheriting this debt of luxury.
Trust your gut on this. It is usually right. Have you ever lived in the same town?
The age gap here is just completely ridiculous. The level of maturity between you two will be completely different as will be your overall life goals.
If you sont abandon you now, eventually, he will be the one abandoning you, so it's best to end this and find someone in the 29-35 age range. At least with someone of your own generation, you'll avoid some pointless issues.
This is either a fake post or the dumbest idea I've ever heard.
Is he getting treatment for his addiction? Join SAA.org for support group and 12 step program. Going to a CSAT therapist. Those are the things he needs to do for himself and to make you feel safer.
Sounds like she might be depressed. Talk to her about her. Don't think about or mention money. Find out whats bothering her and what really might solve it.
Plenty of people would say this let’s not pretend. This is a very common sense of humor the comments on this post are so funny. Op your feelings are valid and when you said it bothered you, she should’ve dropped it and apologized. But just bc she said it does not mean she feels it. Does she often make jokes of that kind? Like the kind of jokes that are only okay when everyone laughs but are rude if people don’t?
You're a guest in his home. He should be taking care of these basic chores. It's nice that you help out, but it's really his job. The man is lazy and self centered.
I wouldn't stay with someone who treated me like basic courtesies were an imposition.
I could understand you saying that the chances of finding a healthy sustainable relationship are equal, but I would still argue that the impetus is placed largely on the man, from getting the girl to like him, to asking her out, to keeping her happy. I’m not saying I like these standards but it does seem to me that it’s harder as a man to have self worth when most of your relationships are trying to convince others that you have worth
Just tell him you’ll go then show up wearing all black.
The way she raged may indicate that OP has a track record of forgetting things and his wife has just had to suck it up previously. This occasion would have been the straw that broke the camels back.
You are not her parent or her boss, so why are you telling her what to do? She will find out definitively whether or not she can get into med school. She doesn’t need you constantly nagging her and telling her she isn’t good enough. People need to be respected enough to succeed or fail on their terms. You are being extremely disrespectful of her.