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Date: October 4, 2022
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I'm you, but as a woman. That's immaturity from your partner.
It's like they need to be in a relationship and have someone validating them so they can start reflecting and actually thinking about what they want in life.
The only thing that is on you, is that you are attracted to women that don't have their shit together, and that are immature. Lile you want to help them grow and maybe that will make them love you even more. You have to understand why that is, to be able to overcome it. And the best way for it is therapy.
Been there, done that.
No longer attracted (too much) by immature jerks, so kind of a win i guess!
Good luck
I'm you, but as a woman. That's immaturity from your partner.
It's like they need to be in a relationship and have someone validating them so they can start reflecting and actually thinking about what they want in life.
The only thing that is on you, is that you are attracted to women that don't have their shit together, and that are immature. Lile you want to help them grow and maybe that will make them love you even more. You have to understand why that is, to be able to overcome it. And the best way for it is therapy.
Been there, done that.
No longer attracted (too much) by immature jerks, so kind of a win i guess!
Good luck
You've shown the full names of yourself and him in one of those screenshots. I'd redact!
Now is the time to say “I don’t want you looking through my phone because I bought you an engagement ring, but since you think abuse is okay I don’t think we’re a good fit” I’m sure she thinks you’re cheating and taste why she took a swing. That doesn’t make it okay. The same way it wouldn’t be okay if you did it. It doesn’t matter if you’re bigger and stronger. It doesn’t matter that it didn’t land. Her first instinct when she was upset was to hurt you.
If she’s insecure she’ll stay that way until she gets help for it. If she’s abusive even if it’s just once in a blue moon, she won’t stop and the urge will be there.
That’s where her mind goes when she’s scared and angry. That takes deep reprogramming with a therapist.
So she's willing for foreplay but as a separate act she isn't. I'm not going to touch on her reasoning but rather going to focus on that and ask what are you going in return? It is very sexually frustrating to get a guy off and him to not reciprocate. Intamcy is a two-way street and if you taking and not giving because you just want head, then you could be making her feel cheap and not worthy of your attention.
He sounds like a serial killer.
This is what happens when people postpone talking about important things in a relationship – it only gets brought up once it's too late and someone always ends up unhappy. What to do now? Who knows, there's no good solution to this.
Discuss religion and politics with your romantic partners. Mismatch on this level is gonna mess up your relationship eventually.
Don’t ask her friends. Every woman has a complete different taste and completely different tolerance on what they want on their fingers. An ex liked huge earrings but she wanted the smallest and most discreet ring, because her working all day with screens made it difficult to navigate. Another ex wanted this gigantic rock and sue had the smallest hand in the world. Another ex hated gold. Another ex hated diamonds. It’s difficult.
So here is my pro advice: take her to Pandora to buy a ring for your mom/sister/cousin whatever (find a convincing reason why). And take notes! Then you will take the style and find an engagement ring. Or, the moment she finds a ring in Pandora that she loves, you pop the question there and then. And you can buy something together for the wedding! Good luck and I wish you happiness from the bottom of my heart!
kind of ungrateful. I am an immigration and If I had any help getting myself on my own feet, I would have been grateful. I hope you build your boundaries and stick to them. sounds like these relatives are hot to please and this js time to move on.
That can only protect assets you have prior to the marriage, any wealth generated during the marriage is up for grabs. And prenups get thrown out all the time, all the lawyer has to do is prove that it was signed under duress.
And besides, the prenup could only help you on the alimony front, if child support is in question then the prenup is useless. And the family courts are much more likely to grant primary custody of children to the mother and levy child support against the father for arbitrary sexist reasons.
I don't nessessarily agree with all that, but it is most likely the mindset that OP's ex has. So a prenup ain't worth the paper it's written on to him.
Well okay
What on earth is he talking about that his trauma caused him to piss all over your sheets and bed? How does a history of abuse square with what he did? Did he see the R Kelly video and decide to try it out?
You felt traumatized and humiliated. I’d be surprised if you didn’t.
Funny thing about abusers, they are ALWAYS in control if their mental faculties even if you think they aren’t. I wonder if he just wanted to try it out, but then freaked out when he saw how you reacted. He had no right to do this to you.
As a man, yes. I agree.
First of all, I'm so sorry your wife was sexually assaulted. You're a better man than me, because I would have hunted down her attacker and ended his existence.
With that being said, all you can do in this situation is what you're currently doing. Support her, talk with her, and let her know that whatever she decides is ok.
I would try to put up the child for adoption l, myself. However, if that is not an option in her eyes after she gives birth, the only options are you staying or leaving.
Best of luck to you and your family.
I wouldn’t let her “explain” herself or even try and say the words “its not what it looked like”
It was cheating and she was so wrong for it. I’m sorry man, you’ll manage to pull through, don’t give her the slightest idea that you will forgive her or be with her again.
You can also get HPV from non sexual places. It's been known to be picked up from sitting on a park bench. Sooo many adults have it
Some people don’t want work knowing their lives. I think that is reasonable as long as he turns down anything if someone thinks hes single. The rest though doesn’t make sense
You seem to want to know if she loves you enough to marry you. You should ask yourself if you love her enough to let her go.
I would go absolutely fucking berserk if someone called my mother to fucking tattle on me when I was arguing with them. Absolutely deranged behaviour from this boy child.
He wouldn’t ever see me again if he then completely disregarded my mother’s set boundary and told her to pick me up. Because you bet your ass my mother would tell me in the car that she reckons I can let him go on his merry way, far from me.
Dump the boyfriend. Keep your mother.
Good call!
I think it would be perfectly reasonable to file for divorce. His feelings and his life are his responsibility, and he's been making them yours, not by asking and letting you decide if you want that burden, but by lying, manipulating, and forcing you to. You've gone above and beyond already and lost a lot in the process. You don't owe this to him, he's not entitled to it, and you've extended an olive branch for so long your arm is about to fall off.
It's ok to put your needs first. Do what's right for you and when he tries to push back and abuse you, don't get involved in a debate with him about it. He's not in charge of what you do with your life.
U gonna continue ur relationship with her?
I mean, it’s not insecurity or jealousy, I didn’t think I would lose her or anything. I do believe that if you are in a relationship you should reserve your sexuality for your partner though, or at least in situations that you are with him, and specially not share it with other people in ways that you don’t share with your partner. I guess some people would see this as a yellow flag, but for me it’s just a relationship expectation.
Then break up….dummy
You don't. You break up b3cause you shouldn't be married to someone who wants kids to begin with.
this isn't something you can compromise on. Kids are either a full yes or a no. It's a no for you and a yes for him for the two of you don't work.