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Room for live! sex video chat VioletaMillerr
Model from: co
Languages: en,es
Birth Date: 1999-09-25
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: October 23, 2022
If he doesn’t respond to “do you want to hang out” & you know he’s seen it, then you also know the answer is no. If you’re not sure if he’s seen it, call him. If you aren’t sure the answer is no, call him. It’s not that hard.
Don’t. He’s too childish to even consider moving in with, let alone having children with
Fair enough, I guess it is situation dependant!
I second that she loves you & her reaction is coming from a good place.
Ok, add this to the list of reasons fwb is never a good idea, take heed young people.
I’m not religious but I think this is a sign from both your and his god you should run as far away from him as possible.
Right. He 'doesn't like them' but is going on a three week trip to Thailand with them? This man is a liar.
Also, given the power dynamics involved, these boys are likely to be sleeping with exploited women, so add that to the big bag of Hell No.
you are not his father. you and him in the same bed is already a form of abuse.
now, as any single mom, she has lived for and by her child. she is afraid to have to choose between you. it is a really good sign in fact.
i advice you make it clear that if you are to act as a substitute father (see the silent message ?), you will act like one : parents in their bedroom and children in their own. he can take a nap, or come if he is afraid of the storm, or have a morning meeting. but the night is a private moment.
Two despicable pigs
you clearly lack reading comprehension.
I’d be paranoid this guy was gonna do something like get you pregnant on purpose. Something to lock you down. Have you met any of his friends or family? How have his prior relationships functioned?
Hey, I work with kids. I feel like a lot of people in here heard once live! that you should never make a big deal out of your kids falling and are parroting it without reading your actual post.
For a standard bonk absolutely, laugh it off. Your kid will look to you for your reaction and if they are not actually hurt, if you laugh they'll get up and brush it off. If they start crying immediately when the incident happens, they are signaling to you that they are actually in pain and you need to check on them. It sounds to me like you do let it go when it's a bump or tumble but not when your son immediately cries. You check to make sure nothing serious is injured and then tell them they're okay. It needs to be a balance between letting them shake it off and paying attention when they aren't.
Can I ask your husband's perspective when you discuss this? Did he grow up in a “walk it off” family? Does he ever check on your son when he seems to be hurt or crying? How is he generally in their relationship?
Quit supporting a grown man. Don’t disown him. Just tell him the jig is up. He is a grown man and should be supporting himself.
Yo this is disgusting. 1. You should tell the ex that he has her nudes, STILL. When u break up, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS delete those (unless stated otherwise by the party who willingly gave the nudes) 2. This is disrespectful to you and the exes. He is disgusting, expose him (to her duh)
Not everyone's body operates like yours. I experienced something identical early in my sexual relationship. Pain, malfunction, and frustration like you wouldn't believe. Have some grace for this guy
Honestly, i dont if you were full of red flags or you have the worst luck in the world
I’m wondering why she considers herself so superior. Does she have a phd, published books and self started several million dollar businesses? A Nobel Prize? Any sort of awards?
Why would you tell him?
There are a number of reasons you tell your partner something, anything. Because you want them to feel loved and appreciated. Or because you want them to change something about themselves that’s annoying. Or because you think they need the information because it would inform their choices. The list goes on, but, it should be for their short or long term benefit.
This? What’s he going to do with this information? It’s going to make hem feel inadequate and unloved. If that’s what you want, the go ahead.
This isn’t worth breaking up over as such, but if you feel you need to fantasize about other guys to enjoy sex … that’s worth thinking about. 5 years isn’t nothing, but you have a whole life ahead of you. Do you want to fantasize about other men your whole life?
He doesn’t sound like a good boyfriend. A good person, who genuinely cares about you wouldn’t do this.
Oh god. Please girl get safe.
A big hug
She needs to respect your sexual boundaries. If she won't respect them, then she is likely to not respect other boundaries, and does not in fact love you.
Explain it to him like you wrote here. That its nothing personal but you do not like being in relationships. Tell him that you feel bad but you need to be honest about your feelings.
Give it time. Have a longer engagement to keep the peace. He's already suggesting that by “calling it off” but he is probably just trying not to make waves. You have lots of time. Who you marry is imo the most important decision you make. And remember, you marry their family too so ensure it's who you want. All of em. Mom included.
Give it time. Have a longer engagement to keep the peace. He's already suggesting that by “calling it off” but he is probably just trying not to make waves. You have lots of time. Who you marry is imo the most important decision you make. And remember, you marry their family too so ensure it's who you want. All of em. Mom included.
Why did you get the second job and not him? This is his doing.
Thank you. He likes to cook for us, so now it makes me feel weird about eating his cooking. And doing something harmful to someone's body just for laughs really bothers me. I'm glad he said he wouldn't actually do it.
Dude, Karma is a bitch. You did it to her and she got you in 2 full. LOL, you deserve each other.
Good luck with baby though. Have a paternity test.
Just going to have to explain that to him. He can go for a walk in the park or something
She said she never brought a dude home and her friend got mad when she got a little peck on the cheek. It’s not like he can hear or see them have sex and he even gets mad when they’re just calling and talking to each other which seems to indicate there’s more going on beyond her just having sex
Any girl… and I say girl… not woman because any respectable woman would not do this. Regardless of who invited who, or where, or when. When a girl says that it's a PROBLEM to split the bill… Will be nothing but PROBLEMS for you in the future.
On my second date with my fiance she insisted on paying. The bill was set to be above $250. I resisted and she insisted. I called her “bluff” and said let's play rock paper scissors with the winner getting to pay because we both wanted to pay. We played. I lost. Still calling her “bluff” in my mind, I insisted again and took out my card and put it on the table waiting for the bill to come. It's important to note I was being playful, smiling and laughing the whole time. She played along. When the waitress came up, my then second date turned fiance snatched the machine out the waitress hand and paid before I could insist again.
Case in point – this girl is not worth your time or money. Gold diggers will down vote me all day quoting chivalry. But she invited you out. She chose the place. Expecting you to pay and having a problem with splitting the bill is absurd. I wouldn't even go to the date if it was me
Yeh hes a creep
Girl 20 is 20 whole actual people. I personally would be off put if I was with someone who spelt with that much. 20 is a lot to many groups. But if he think 100 is normal and he's the odd one out for not having enough I would get out now, you might be in his list of 100 he's just trying to get there to impress his friends. So gross.
OP was manipulative af. She lives in a bachelor. She lives in one room, so he called it her bedroom.
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This is how a lot of women end up getting sex trafficked. It happened to the women groomed by ‘Girls Do Porn’
Listen to your parents. They know more than you.
That's not the advice I'm looking for, I'm not just going to dump her after this.
Or just…don’t have sex with her if you think she’s crazy enough to try and baby trap you?
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The stuff we have in common and the signs I was getting it's hot not to feel like she's supposed to be the one. I don't get out a lot but I suppose I would get over it quickly if I met someone else. The problem is its very hot to see me clicking with someone else so easily when i actually go hunting. She just kind of randomly popped into my life you know. I didn't feel like I was ready or could see myself being in a relationship currently until I met her
Always look out for #1. You’re happiness is the priority. Leave and don’t look back, trust me when you find Mr right it will be way worth it in the end and I’m sure your family will understand.
He’s not kind or supportive if he doesn’t respect your time or efforts. Also an actual kind, supportive 31 year old man just wouldn’t be entertaining a 22 year old. I’m sorry to be not the first person to tell you this.
“But I had a lizard so that means I can take care of a puppy!”
Nah. Don’t feel bad. The women equality comment doesn’t justify putting hands on someone. He could have acted civil towards his ex, but he chose violence and blaming it on equality. If he’s toxic to the group, it’s best to part way and be done with him.
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He sounds immature and self-centered. It seems like he does whatever he wants without caring about your feelings at all. You made your expectations clear, and he did not step up. Gamer raging is a bizarre hobby and speaks again to his immaturity. You're going to end up creating a mother/son type relationship with him, where you try to get him to grow up and he resists and throws fits. You need to find someone mature enough for a relationship.
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Sounds like a very touchy situation. Unfortunately, he has his rose colored glasses on and you can’t force some one to see what they do not want to see.
What you CAN do is speak to him maturely and honestly. I would say to him “I am sorry you feel that I have been rude but I am glad we have this chance to talk because I have some concerns of my own in regards to how she has been trying to treat me. While I may not like your choice in a wife, I do want you to be happy and understand it is your life to live!. However, she is in my age group and I expect to be treated like one of her peers and will not tolerate any attempts to boss me around or speak to me in a mother role. While I will not got out of my way to be rude, this is something I will not compromise, even under the threat of being “cut off”. I also believe in being true and in that respect I will not be ass Kissing either. If her and I were to bond, I expect this to happen organically and not under coercion and distress of you threatening to with hold being a farther to me.”
Also, are there any friends or family he likes and values the opinion of? I would be going to them with concerns too.
He won't change, he does this to get away with no doing anything for you or have any sympathy. Break up and look for an adult, self-sufficient man.
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You should throw him in the trash so that you can raise your baby in a household with love, trust, and mutual respect. If he’s willing to cheat on you WHILE PREGNANT, I assure you this won’t be the last time. Your kid will model the boundaries they see growing up. If their mom is treated like trash by men and she accepts it, they will think they deserve to be treated like trash/will treat women like trash too.
He made his trashy bed, let him lie in it. It’s a win win. Now he can get as many sad handjobs from sex workers as he wants!
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA'
Talk to her about it, if nothing changes then you can breakup
People out here trying their hardest to break you guys up. Classic reddit. Please take all the time you need and think it through.
One of the purposes of physical intimacy is to create and strengthen emotional bonds. You can't be intimate and just tell yourself to not get feelings, that's not how your monkey brain works.
FWB is always a bad idea because one or both eventually develop feelings and get hurt.
Either make it official or break it off and move on before the feelings get even stronger and you end up with someone you're not compatible with.
UpdateMe!
Are you religious? How long have you been dating?
I honestly wouldn’t want to move in with you if this was supposed to be a shared space with my partner. I don’t think you’re ready to move in together he’s already cheated on you
I was in a similar situation though we hadn't been together as long as you describe. Still, we had been together for a few years by the time this was going down.
I had made it clear to her I was going to, we had had the discussions to establish that but it wasn't happening in the time frame she wanted it to. The tantrums started about it and it took all the wind out of my sails around doing something special and it simply became about getting her to shut up about it.
It was a red flag that I ignored and oh my god I wish I had not ignored it because those tantrums came back every. Single. Time. she didn't get her way or I didn't agree with her position regarding whatever family planning we were discussing. The problem is – by the next time one of the tantrums happened it was right after we were married.
So, if she doesn't trust that you're going to do it and she can't relax in the space upon your assurance and give you the time an space to do it the way YOU want to ask her then either she should just ask you instead or you need to see this as the potential red flag it is.
She isn't accepting your answer and trusting you.
Are you trustworthy? Do you truly want to marry her or are you stalling?
If you're not stalling, look at the flag again to determine what color it is (some shade of crimson).
In the end, I like you was having a ring custom made per my own design which I had worked out through many conversations and drawings *I* drew up with her (I'm an artist) to get to my jeweler. The last tantrum was just before I had finalized the design with the jeweler but while I was still working it out with him. I was already into it with a deposit and I let that color my decision to keep going. If I had it to do over again, I'm not sure I would – the risk there is then my children wouldn't exist and I love my children.
So I went forward, made the ring and the day I got it, to get her off my back I proposed to her in our little condo's dining area the same day. It wasn't special and I hated it. I wanted to do something special as part of a nice trip but fuck it.
The way I feel about it now though, since we are divorced and she was miserable to try to be in a family with and remains miserable to be divorced from – I don't know if I would ever get married again.
Shit or get of the pot many will say and that's not wrong but if you're not ready and she's telling you the time's up then perhaps you just let her go if she doesn't think you're worth the time you need.
Exactly. With this mindset, he’s gonna do something that annoys her on this list and she’ll lose it on him and look irrational when really it has nothing to do with the rule breaking but about the past that she’s not over which is completely rational.
Just break up with her she lied about her age and name and she lied about them for a year.
What else is she willingly going to lie about and not tell you?
If you want to have more sex with your husband, there are several things you can do: Communicate openly: Talk to your husband about your desire for more intimacy. Share your feelings and ask him how he feels about the subject. It's important to have an open and honest conversation to establish a mutual understanding and find a solution. Plan and set aside time: Make time for intimacy by scheduling date nights, or special time for the two of you. Keep things interesting: Explore different ways of being intimate, like trying new positions or activities. Show affection: Small gestures of affection such as holding hands, hugs, or kisses can lead to more intimate moments. Take care of your physical and mental health: Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly. Additionally, taking care of your emotional and mental well-being through stress management, therapy or other self-care practices can improve your overall sexual health. It's important to keep in mind that intimacy and sexual desire are complex issues that can be affected by many factors, such as stress, physical and mental health, and relationship dynamics. Also, everyone's needs and preferences are different, so be sure to have open communication and try to find a balance that works for both you and your husband. It's recommended that you seek counseling or sex therapy if you are having difficulties with this subject, they can guide you in finding the root of the problem and help
RED FLAG. What he did is illegal anywhere unless you are In Afghanistan.
Don’t do it
Listen, exit that relationship. He's not even remorseful just throwing a tantrum trying to guilt you into forgiving him, I guess. Don't waste your time with the mental gymnastics. He has yet to face you like a man. Boy bye!
For a relationship to work, both sides need to be all in. She doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, so the relationship is over. If you have to convince her to be with you, what kind of a relationship is that?
Give her space and break up with her, a break rarely Works out well anyways.
An you provide some examples of behavior you want an opinion on? This is too vague
If i was you, i would've leave the house. Holy shit man. Sure you did a mistake but two of them beat you up because of it.
He was soo important but you broke it off for a h*o phase and your wondering why he moved on and doesn’t want to have contact with you.
Just take your L and look for someone else and try not to compare them to him. It isn’t fair to you or the poor bastard who might end up with you.
Hope it was worth it.
I'm a little more patient than that given her past which isn't really my place to go into, so I understand to some extent where her feelings are coming from. I also don't make strong connections easily so it's very difficult for me to cut people out of my life who I have connected with which is part of the reason I don't remove the friend. So the same reason I'm wondering if I'm somehow in the wrong on this issue.
As soon as I see 18 I know I’m in for a ride.
Just break up, you have your whole life to find so,done that isn’t an idiot.
doesn't your school offer counseling services? most colleges do.
Man go ahead and break up. Youre insecure and she lied. I was literally in your shoes at 20 and instead of leaving i had a 2 year relationship with a fewish good times, and mostly absolutely miserable ones. One thing that never changed was our lack of trust in eachother. Despite our attraction and eventual love, because i did grow to love her and vice versa, a weak foundation will always end in disaster.
I tried to do some research on my own, but you're right. I need to visit a vet.
I think it's weird.
But that doesn't matter one tiny bit. Keep singing!!
That sucks, I can totally understand why you’re anxious but that doesn’t mean she’s cheating. These examples are pretty mundane. Don’t let a shitty ex ruin a great relationship
nor do i want to fall into old habits.
First you need to get a healthy life set up for yourself, such that with or without him you're fine. You need to feel safe at home/with family/have a close confident, you need a group of friends/activity partners/chat group you hang out with, and you need a professional (school and/or work) track. Hobbies, friends, work, family, safety, confidant… Once you have that all together you can be happy with or without him. If you don't do this, you're very very likely to try to shove him back into cover one of those areas, all on his own, because that's what he used to do.
This is what people mean when they say “work on yourself until you can be happy alone, then you can be in a healthy relationship.” The thing about healthy relationships is that they're not forced. If both people are in a happy and healthy spot then when they spend time together they either grow together or grow apart. Nothing needs to be explicitly done. It'll be “Hey, I want to do X, I know Y likes that. I'll invite them” not “I want to do X and Y is the only person I know that I can convince to do stuff with me”.
She has an extremely high libido. Perhaps, you can go with her to her doctor and discuss what she can do about it to accommodate you. She needs the opposite of Viagra.
This. As a guy eating out sometimes I’ve gagged with a combination of not getting enough air and simply a taste/smell I’m not used to. It’s not even a bad taste or smell it’s just not something I typically deal with and my brain freaks out. Ha
So a mistake like that can indeed be a big deal.
He seems to see the weight of that and it became a source of anxiety to him. And his way of dealing with that, like it is for a lot of people, is to try and 'fix' it if only via advice and what have you. Problem is, that advice is not coming from a place of care or empathy but a need to feel a sense of control again.
And yeah, that is a worry. That he got so profoundly worked up over something that wasn't really his problem, that it let him be so toxic, that you had to fight so hard to establish a healthy boundary with him in that situation.
The question becomes whether you've noticed in stressful situations he has trouble regulating his emotions. Because to me it seems odd if this was the first time he's ever shown signs of these knee jerk reactive control attempts. If this is a pattern then be careful, it is likely it will come up again and even worse, this situation may have made him feel more vindicated being controlling because 'now he knows you can't be trusted' sort of thing.
I literally didn’t say that. Your assuming. You do realize not everything is mutually exclusive. I can say I understand he still want those things but also is exploring. And I still can say no I don’t see this working because he’s exploring. Don’t join a debate team.
Additionally I’m not addressing you “if he just was bi” because I don’t live! in hypotheticals of situations that aren’t currently what’s happening in reality. You keep saying “what if he’s sure he’s bi” well hun – he’s not if he is because he certainly is skirting being open about that. I on-line in reality, your commenting on what you’re trying to prove based on the though you think I’m biphobic.
There’s been nowhere near enough time for him to actually tackle his insecurities and control issues that he chooses to use as excuses to abuse you. It’s been a few days!
Tell him he can text you in 8 months with the receipts of bi weekly therapy if he wants you to even entertain the idea of giving him the time of day.
Read Why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft in the mean time.
Seriously? He expects praise for watching a movie without getting on his phone? And for choosing a restaurant? Run. Seriously. It’s clear he’ll never really put forth an effort and would expect a parade if he did.
Oh jesus. Realistically you had two good weeks. Then her life changed, and her focus shifted, and she decided to end it with you. Not rocket science. Move on.
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I (23F) have recently got an amazing job opportunity in another city. However, the city I will be moving to is very expensive and I would not be able to rent a flat on my own, I’d have to get a house share. A really close (male) friend of mine has recently moved to that city and is also looking for a house share. I would ideally move in with him, have two separate bedrooms and share the kitchen and the bathroom. That way I wouldn’t have to move in with some random people that might be rude, messy, loud, but I would be living with someone I know.
My bf (24M) works away so we don’t live! together, but we see each other often. He is really unhappy that I would be moving in with another man (even though I have had this friend for longer than I have known my bf and he has never ever made any moves on me or done anything. We are very clear that we are just good friends. We’re absolutely not each other’s types either). My bf knows this friend really well and has been in social gatherings a lot and they seemed to get along well.
He is quite insecure about me having male friends (but obviously doesn’t admit it). He says he wants me to on-line in a girls only flat but that would severely limit my choices and also just because they’re girls, doesn’t mean they’d be nice, clean, I’d get along with them. For me it seems logical that I would be moving in with someone I know that I get along with…
What should I do?
It doesn’t matter that the wedding is days away, this marriage is doomed if he acts this way and your afraid to stand up for yourself.
I’m not sure. If it wasn’t for this I don’t think I would have noticed anything.
Just be polite and say I am not interested. Don’t make this into a huge deal.
Sit her down and tell her the truth mate, that's all you can do.
It's reeeeeally fucking difficult to break up with someone you've been with for a long time though. You'll go through a rollercoaster of emotions during the conversation and question your own decision, especially when you see her upset and your natural empathy comes out.
The key is to make sure you're rock solid in your decision before you go into the conversation. Whenever you're going through all the emotions and questioning your decision, remember your true feelings and decision you made before the conversation. Stay on track and don't be thrown off by the rollercoaster.
I hate it when adult people are like “I and forced to… ” NO you are not. You have free will here and can make a choice. The language is just so manipulative, you cat tell its design to remove the accountability from the OP. So stuff just happens to them, they are the passive victim, and the gf is the villain/one with power. Nope, OP, you are an adult man. You are making your own decisions. People can ask you for stuff, or even demand stuff, and you get to decide if you will entertain it or not. If you decide to entertain it, it's your responsibility.
OP is dodging questions pertaining to his new wife. He didn’t include her age on the post and is not responding when asked. This leads me to believe he married a much younger woman and is trying a do over since his last marriage didn’t pan out. No wonder his son is behaving this way.
Your friend disrespected you by not saying anything
As I said to someone else who responded to me – the person I responded to never said that their husband threatened their cat, just that they complained about the cat. That's a big, big difference.
It’s been like 3 years so I’m much better.
No Contact is everything.
I hope you feel better, you can always message me if you need to.
Found a groomer
She deleted them because she knows that what she had in them was damaging to your relationship.
So do not believe her.
Tell her that at the least she is emotionally cheating on you, and if she wants to continue with your marriage, then she cuts this person off now, completely.
If she doesn’t, then tell everyone, tell her family and friends that she is cheating on you. Then file for divorce.
And remember she is lying to you about deleting her messages, so she is most likely lying to you about not being interested in the other person – especially given how flirty she is.
Remember loyalty, respect, love, trust and respect- the foundations of a relationship have all been damaged or broken by her in this.
I wish i was strong enough, im just so upset about whats happened.
Well maybe you can change that and start working even part time
How about you discuss this with her first? Idk
You can see sex as the basement of a house.
It's not necessary and you can build a house without a basement but then you'll live! your whole time feeling something is missing and how it would be great to have basement. Then the house gets older and the maintenance requisite get higher, and why should you invest your time and money in a house without a fucking basement. Up until you just can't on-line there anymore because what the fuck there's supposed to be a basement here : I want to have a basement, all the neighbors have a basement and they do so much fun stuff down there.
So yeah sex is not the most important thing in a relationship but when it's missing and you are a sexual person yourself it will taint everything.
So no one's at fault you just are either 2 different people or at different places in your life and are either no compatible or have a bad timing.
NO DO NOT DELETE ANYTHING. NONE OF IT. NO.
Seems like there are more important problems going on than chosing who's the real narcissistic
This could ruin your career. Your mother is wrong and this needs to be confronted.
Yeah we said fair enough you don’t like the dog don’t be involved, but she goes from showering him with attention to withdrawing all attention. She takes him on walks when she’s frustrated with him despite us saying we will take him and she can have some time away from him. It’s more so the fact she’s giving the silent treatment to everyone despite her frustrations being with our pup. It’s confusing for a dog to have attention one second and then withdrawn.
You’ve dated women who don’t like to kiss at all?
If you want it to be permanent then file for divorce, you deserve better.
On the second date, he apologized for it on his own.
He admitted to having a problem with it and is grateful when people point it out to him.
Maybe she wasn't as comfortable giving all the details to someone she wasn't exclusive with. You made it clear that you weren't in a monogamous relationship. Ideally she would have been more up front. But you were both on the same page.
I suggest talking to a therapist and hashing your issues out.
Further. Most mature adults don't just instantly block everyone they were talking to. She canceled plans with a guy. Get the fuck over yourself
I was happily divorced at 30. Better 5 years than 10 like I wasted. You will find someone better who loves and respects you I promise. I met the love of my life 6 months later and still get butterflies after 9 years.
Tell him “bye.”
Health issues / mental health issues are not the sufferers fault, but they ARE their responsibility. Whatever this is, it is affecting his and your quality of life, so he must take steps to proactively fix it. If sounds bother him, he needs loop earplugs. If he’s fallen into a manipulative pattern, he needs therapy, and it’s up to him to get it. Sit him down, explain where you’re at, tell him you need him to get to the bottom of why, and work to make life more liveable for both of you.
When we’re in long distance relationships, the time we spend with our partners is invaluable to us.
I can understand how you’re feeling as someone who has been in a long distance relationship, personally. I would’ve hoped your last night together would’ve been a special date night, not a him going and partying with someone else night.
I would probably put that to him, personally. If my husband had done something like this back when we were long distance, I would probably have emotionally checked out.
If you want him to know exactly how you feel, you could always just show him this post.
Do you have any family members numbers or social media? I would definitely start there.
One boys opinion? It’s her damn boyfriend. The last person she wants to hear tasteless comments like that from. Also news flash, words hurt. And even though she needs to work on her self esteem it’s normal to not let things like that hurt you
My ex did this shit and I was nauseous when I found out he made it all up. I wanted to peel my skin off but the best I could do was remove myself from the situation and block him on everything lol
“I am the noble Javert and you are the thieving and lowly Jean Valjean”
He is attracted to her. What you do with that information is up to you. At some point in every relationship one, or other partner comes across someone they find attractive. Deciding to ignore that person and chose your partner is what keeps a lot of relationships afloat.
However since I've nothing better to do but analyse this over coffee, the specific phrase that bothers me was the admission that “she probably wouldn't find me attractive” this suggests, to me, that he thinks she is out of his league in some way – and the comparison would be enough to make me drop this.
I'm not saying he doesn't care for you, but if he cant help showing off in front of her when she is around, then hes not even mature enough to realise that his feelings for you should be making him steer clear of her.
If you were my kid, he would not get my vote. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
He is a very big narcissist… Anything you tell him that doesn’t go with what he wants it’s an altercation. He’s gotten physical with me before. That’s why I haven’t. I don’t want to go down that road.
I'm 100% with you. Both guys have taken away her agency. And she has a right to know, to make her own decisions!
Check phone records for numbers shes contacting, if u want the truth don’t tell her outright, u have time on your hand to get definitive answers before going to her, 99% certain she will say doesn’t know how they got in her car, if u can’t find anything then go to her with box and question away
I would feel her out in a sneaky way. Find a movie where two female friends date, suggest you watch it together. After/during ask her if she would ever date a friend.
If you can’t just be friends then don’t get between him and his engagement. Nobody can tell what his intentions are based off of this information alone. It may be completely innocent, may not. Hopefully it’s innocent. Overall, I just don’t think it’s best you see him with these feelings involved. It will only stir the pot.
The next question I would ask her is if she is comfortable with you tagging along next time.
If and WHEN she says no, you will have your answer. There is clearly something going on that she wants to hide.
I imagine she’ll say something manipulative like: “I really just enjoy having alone time with my friends”. But, if she really loved you, she would be excited to introduce you to her friends.
I’ve dated women like her before, and trust me dude, all those good moments when it feels amazing… it’s just an act. Truly sorry to break it to you. It’s time to move on.
call the police
Well said!!! He has no right to tell a grown woman where she can or cannot go!
But, your answer to this then is that your boyfriend minimize his relationship with his sister. As you get older, you’ll realize what a shorty thing that is to ask.
This is a consequence of the decision to date your friends brother. It’s a triangle now, and it seems that your relationship with your best friend is the side that’s most likely to weaken. Just how it goes.
I don’t, when I don’t want to talk about it he doesn’t let me just be alone. I’ve told him I have to just ride it out and I’ll be fine, but he wants me to talk about it, and I do because he wants me to but it feels pointless. I’ve been to therapy and I’ve tried drugs in the past but we both can’t afford it currently and the drugs only kind of work for me for a very short period. The side effects are awful and I haven’t really ever found a therapist that works.
I knew that would pop up here somewhere, LOL
Yeah in my state they have to give a 3 day notice to pay or get out. They can start eviction proceedings after that 3rd day. Generally it takes about a week, tenants are not provided with a lawyer, and the system here heavily favors landlords (about 90% of evictions sought in my state are granted).
To respond to someone below, I've never seen an actual eviction that didn't involve the sheriff. They come in as soon as a judge signs the order (or, in some cases, the landlord calls, the bar here is pretty low and cops aren't lawyers). Anything the tenant can't carry on their person gets tossed on the lawn or thrown out.
Evictions are brutal + cruel.
Next time he tries to crawl into your bed tell him to get out and don't ever come back. When he protests say Get Out. Keep repeating until he is out of your room.
Better yet, make sure there isn't a next time. Figure out how to block your door closed so he can't get in or buy a lock that he can't open from the other side.
You need a strong boundary that shows you are over and done with him. He can't be broken up chasing other women and expect you to be available to keep him from being lonely. That is just him using you and keeping you available. It's disgusting.
Do not socialize with him. Do not sit in the living room talking with him or watching shows with him or playing games with him. If he asks or invites you to join him say, no, I'm not interested. Or say that you have better things to do. Do not eat meals with him. Do not go out with him, not even just as friends. You need to grey rock him.
People confuse ultimatums and boundaries. But you have one life and there are billions of people on this planet. I don’t get the sentiment that you can compromise on the important things that impact the rest of your life just because the other person doesn’t see it that way. Why spend the rest of those years making each other miserable.
If she ain’t gonna respect you does she really love you? Move on if she can’t respect you
If casual relationships are not for you, that's fair. At the same time, having more romantic and sexual experience really teaches you some important lessons about how to evaluate partners and see through bullshit. These are lessons that I really think you are missing.
You said that you immediately clicked with this guy. Having been through multiple relationships (and marriages) I have learned the hard way that the click is only the most minor indication that you can proceed with extreme caution. All these things you immediately find in common? They're nice, but most likely superficial, and probably irrelevant. Yes, you're looking for common ground, but in the first six months, what you should mainly look for are red flags. You should expect them, and avoid falling in love during this period, because then you will miss, or dismiss them.
Additionally, that feeling you described is also one that I have come to fear. At the time, it feels like you've come home. Unfortunately, that's exactly what the feeling might be, the deep sense of familiarity, because this person unconsciously reminds you of your most difficult parental relationship. Which means you're walking straight into the exact same dysfunction or abuse you grew up with, with your heart wide open. And because it feels so safe, you ignore every sign of trouble.
A very few people do form happy marriages by blundering into them, but for most of us, true connection is a matter of weeding out all the bad ones. And getting to know someone takes time. It's easy for some people to seem wonderful. For a while. You have to be more skeptical. And I really think you should date some more. You don't have have sex if you don't want to, but get to know some men, and use your brain before engaging your heart.
“He would do anything for anyone! Oh, except if they’re trans or non-binary!”