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Violett , ?, y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Violett , ?
Date: April 20, 2023
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Because I am pretty sure if these groups were ever created, they would be sharing the “menu” of a woman more often than anything else.
There will never be trust, believe me
Your girlfriend needs to place boundaries. Inform her parents that what they are doing is unacceptable. If they want to have a relationship with him, they need to never talk about you or her to him again. It needs to ba placed firmly off limits.
Then they need to be put on an information diet. The parents don't get to know or see anything that the two of you don't want getting back to him.
They need to understand that their contact with him has a price, and that is being a part of your lives.
They may not understand what it is that they are doing, it is time for the two of you to make it clear that sharing information about her or her life is a violation.
She was very apologetic and did everything right after I told her. I wasn’t intending to snoop, accidentally took her phone instead of mine and the text message was right there. I honestly didn’t even have that big of a deal with her texting her ex, mostly her doing it behind my back.
fuck no what is wrong with you
So how can he re-organize his chores and priorities at home so that you aren't picking up the slack while he's golfing? And what time do you get to yourself (that isn't work travel)?
This is where I'm finding I've been unsuccessful in communicating the urgency and need for him to reprioritize what he's doing. I think he needs to make that choice for himself otherwise its just empty words coming from me?
This is how I've said it: “I need more help from you at home with these things (list discrete things AB&C, see above). I've communicated these things in the past (reference journal entries), and when I don't see you making an effort it feels like you do not value my needs. Over time when this keeps happening, I lose trust in your word when you say you'll do it. I'm asking you to physically not leave the house as much so that you'll keep your word and contribute like you said you would.”
Now that I've typed that out, I just hits me how bad I've let this get and how sad our situation really is 🙁
Exactly…the mom, her hometown, he might be feeling pushed around.
I just hope he gets help because this was truly weird as hell…
Divorce in a heart beat.
Well, this is (to be most generous and empathetic I can) definitely a teenager way to roll out polyamory.
Sounds like you both need to read up on ethical non-monogamy and about healthy polyamorous dynamics. Which, to be clear, would exclude having a conversation about polyamory and then suddenly showing up with a few new partners.
For your own sake, I would back out of this. Do a bunch of research and take some time to think about it, and step back into this…milieu when you feel more prepared to set boundaries and negotiate in your own self-interest.
Yes, and broadcasting its content all over Reddit is also worse.
That’s not serial cheating. Wtf is wrong with some of you. And people can have uncontrollable feelings about others they don’t take action on. The guy should have never read her journal. He was wrong. She had thoughts. He actually did something tangibly wrong.
Sis, you need to leave this relationship immediately.
He is unkind to you and he has been unkind to you for a long time. That is not “having problems” – that is “he is a problem”.
My friend, you have a whole big beautiful life in front of you – do NOT waste time with people who treat you poorly. The moment he showed you pictures of the exes and started comparing you was the moment you should have dumped his sorry behind and walked away as fast as you could. He was ONLY doing that to be unkind and to keep you off kilter. Leaving you on the street in the middle of the night – that was unkind.
Do not waste another day with this guy. Truly, call your parents to help you move back home and DUMP him.
He’s not done regardless of what she gives back. He’ll just use that process as an excuse to escalate.
That’s a fair point. What comes to the point where they won’t tell me which events she’ll be at, but still want me to show up to the unknown? I don’t want to take that gamble
Why do you think you need to be attracted to someone else?
Be single for a little while. Heal from this. Learn to love yourself. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated.
I promise there will be other people that you are attracted to if you do this. Right now, you're attracted to what you think you deserve deep down. When you learn to value yourself, you will be attracted to people who value you.
as a college student, this is extremely common and idk why your friends are making a deal out of it because i see this probably 20+ times a day in my midwest us college
Literally shattered. Upholding my self worth is the hardest part man. But Thank you!
DO NOT CANCEL.
Yes, you maybe you should have told him but I imagine you didn’t because you didn’t want him inviting himself or telling you no.
He is clearly envious. You are not responsible for how he chooses to respond to this.
DO NOT CANCEL.
Yes, you maybe you should have told him but I imagine you didn’t because you didn’t want him inviting himself or telling you no.
He is clearly envious. You are not responsible for how he chooses to respond to this.
I see who you are now
This! Also, stop the psychoanalysis of people close to you (unless they ask), it is really inappropriate. Your friends won't see it as helpful at all. Remember you are a STUDENT so there is a good chance what you are seeing in people as patterns etc, may not be anything or worse you could be making some huge assumptions etc. If you want to do this as a profession, you will need to learn to compartmentalise and leave your psychologist brain off when hanging out with your mates.
As for your friend flirting……she won't stop, it will get worse and piss you off more. She already gives off solid “don't trust her” vibes. Keep her as an acquaintance or just let this friendship go. Also, if you are in a relationship, getting drunk and making out with your friends is a big NO, it is also a great way to give off weird vibes and encourage situations like the one you are now having trouble with.
What does he think you are ungrateful for?
He needs to pull his weight in the house, and then maybe you will have the energy for other things. Nothing kills a sex drive like being an unpaid maid.
What does he think you are ungrateful for?
He needs to pull his weight in the house, and then maybe you will have the energy for other things. Nothing kills a sex drive like being an unpaid maid.
You need to sit down and talk with her, lay out your boundaries and tell her that you're uncomfortable with them sleeping in the same bed…
Remember you're in a relationship with her now and he has to respect your space, gay or not…
You have to dictate the pace or prepare to be walked over…
Lol true. When I read anything religious I’m like really? really? really? nah that’s made up and that is complete bs and this is impossible.
Give the ring to his mom, keep everything else INCLUDING any texts with him threatening harm, and speak to the police. Gifts are just that, gifts and im pretty sure legally there's nothing he can do to get them back but just in case try to get any receipts with anything you bought him over the year.
And DO NOT GO TO SEE HIM ALONE. EVER. make sure you bring someone with you if you HAVE to see him again.
Do you believe that Do you think it’s okay to hold on to someone’s nudes? If he was disgusted wouldn’t he have deleted them?
I am bi and I discovered it because I realized my best friend, who is very straight, is super lovely and I would date her. She knows it and considers it here greatest compliment. She also knows that if I ever cross a boundary like what your “friend” is doing here, they I would be gone from her life in an instant. Friends don’t convince other friends of their sexuality. Ever. She isn’t your friend
it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. you can agree to disagree, but insulting soemtbing your girlfriend loves and probably has gotten her through shit is just immature.
If you didn't have these issues until you lost your job, it most likely has to do with that. Is she currently the only bread-winner? Is all financial responsibility on her to maintain your home/life? Because my dude, that is exhaaaaauuuuusting. That can make a partner not sexually attracted to anything or anyone. That level of stress is heavy.
I will also ask, when was the last time you went on a date? Because dating and even during an engagement, it's about wooing. But do you date her? Do you make her seen and valued?
I'm sorry you're going through this. I wouldn't immediately suspect cheating – my gut reaction to what you have written is this is all due to stress.
You're assuming a lot of shit. Maybe you should ask OP, instead of assuming.
When me and my GF were dating she didn't really care much for flowers or expensive jewelry. So for gift ideas she would just say to find something that reminded me of her and that should be good enough.
The price/ usability of the item isn't what matters, most times it's the thought and the symbol behind the item.
Yep, he ratted himself out behaving that way for sure!
You are making it work. Let them know which recitals you can bring your mother to, and which ones your sister can come fetch her. Then silence their calls and get on with your day.
I agree that this is a good point, but does OP's sister really sound like someone who would admit to their own hypocrisy? Lmao
I talked to her. Super super understanding and said she would feel the same way if she was in my position. He’s not staying over, and she skipped the dinner she was meant to have with him and some friends here to get food with me. Nothing to worry about at all
It's a little weird that you noticed that on his profile.
Seems pretty simply that he's really into you after a few months of dating, so he is scrubbing old temptations out of his feed so he doesn't do anything dumb.
That's why I'm asking you how you would do that. Surely you have an idea if you're saying it's possible to tell.
Can't have it both ways. To be in a committed, romantic relationship, most people (or at least one of the people in the relationship) will likely want sex to be part of it like your bf does. If you don't want it anymore, then you two are basically just buddies, now.
Why are you upset with him for not bringing you flowers all the time when you're not giving him what he wants? It's a two-way street. You might want to go find an intimacy doctor who might be able to make some suggestions. If your libido just suddenly checked out you probably need to look into what changed in your life when it vanished – watching too much porn, medicine change, a source of extreme stress, etc.
Haven’t spoken to her yet. It’s just sus to me. She could be telling the truth but how should I go about things with her?
Yeah.
Drive half an hour to confront her when you're angry after she's been avoiding seeing you. Nothing scary about that. I can guess what the camping trip was like.
Help out?! He lives there with you, but he's not doing half of what needs doing? That's an issue! Just because at the beginning of the relationship when you moved in together, he wasn't able to? Doesn't mean he can't now. He's just grown accustomed to you doing everything. Let me tell you something OP: You're sick. You are experiencing medical grade exhaustion. Boyfriend needs to do 80% of the chores right now! I am glad he is stable on his new medication. This should free him up to help you like you helped him. And it won't be easy for him because he hasn't been asked to do anything. That is about to change. Believe me if you wind up staying with this guy? Explaining how this is going to work will be time well spent. If he's not willing to show up for you like this? Please get out of this relationship.
He’s using you as a clutch… And not the expensive kind.
Should have included this in your post. It makes a difference if he has already proven he is not worthy of trust.
Yes he's going to talk to his therapist about you. And confide things he hasn't felt able to tell you. That's what therapy is for, a safe place to disclose your struggles. That said, it sounds like there's no joy in this relationship . He's been both emotionally and physically abusive. Start planning what's next for you. Find a place to online. Get friends lined up to help you when it's moving time. Etc.
Why are you defending him? What he said was terrible no matter what language.
It is cheating, but why are you engaged to a 23 year old? You’re both at different stages in your life and if he’s doing this already, he’ll continue to do so.