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Date: October 7, 2022
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Phew. I wouldn’t want an ex like that anywhere near me.
If he’s not harassing you, I’d carry bear spray and hope he never bothers you with more than his presence.
If he harasses you, I’d call the police and take my dog to a different place to walk.
It’s too bad he’s not changed….and….I’m so glad you got out.
My ex did this. (Around 4 months in) He told me my stretch marks made me an 8. Fast forward a few years later and my self esteem was horribly low. My advice is it leave, It only gets worse! There are people out here that will treat you how you deserve. Don’t settle, life is to short!
Thankyou!!
This is abuse. Without getting too much into it the self harm and threats of suicide are control tactics. Do what you need to get out of that asap before you get emotionally invested
That's the thing, when talking to him, it sounds like he watches just to watch sometimes. Not just to masturbate. Which, to each their own I guess? Good tip about me selecting the genre/video, that may help. Thank you!
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Then you can only wait it out. Once she leaves, YOU approach your husband and apologise. No buts, just I’m sorry I undermined you in an important decision. I hope you understand it won’t happen again, I love you, I’m also learning how to handle this situation that has me distraught.
Is okay, it will be okay
I did not go to the funeral. I was told it was something small and I could show up if I wanted, but never even got an address.
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I didn’t mean that you would be a bad person and I’m sorry it sounded that way. This is obviously eating you up so you should get an attorney and get a court ordered DNA test. You need to know otherwise you will never rest. If you are the father, you can decide how to proceed. Josiah is young enough that it won’t be as traumatic to him to find out when he is older. If Eric is his father, it will be a relief to him. But she sounds like she is afraid he isn’t his or she would have had the test done when he was born. Get the test and post an update when you find out.
So he flirts with other people to the point it actually gets physical, lies about it, minimizes your feelings, dismisses your concerns … why are you still with this guy?
Dude, you are projecting SO hot.
Yes, HE asked for the sandwich.
She asked what HE wanted and he said a sandwich.
He got home and was expected to have sex with her.
He said no.
She made it all about herself and threw a tantrum.
At the very least, it's childish and controlling.
I think YOU'RE the one who's sexist if you don't see the wrong in her behavior.
She owes him an apology.
i just want to say that I was pretty self conscious about how I looked down there and I honestly considered labiaplasty myself numerous times. When I met my boyfriend over a year ago, he has really boosted my confidence and tells me how much he loves how i look down there. he never fails to mention it. The guy you’re with is an AH and i hope you find a great guy who will appreciate you for you.
As everyone else said, yes, it's rape . He knew you said no but he also knew he could wear your down and make you feel guilty.
If you forgive him he WILL do it again because he's more into his sexual gratification than his actual feelings. You were sick and he kept asking like dude. Stop already.
Its so common to feel guilt that we aren't giving our partners enough sex and so many of us are willing to cave with enough begging. Been there. You are not in the wrong. He is.
I feel this. When I was younger I had the same problem. Nothing was wrong but it definitely bothered me and made me extremely embarrassed. I stumbled on a way to stay fresh by accident lol!! If you are willing to put in the work.. get a vibrator, and give her multiple orgasms by clit stimulation every day for a week. That should reset her PH balance. Than once a week for maintenance. After her monthly I suggest at least 3 orgasms a day for three days. You should be able to go down on her without a problem and as a bonus, it will train her to orgasm more easily.
Came to say the same thing. Sexual compatibility is necessary for a relationship to work.
OP, you were acting under the guise of having come to a compromise. You initiate and she reciprocate when she is ok with it. Then she changed it to you should ask vs physically initiate which you did. It may seem to her like you want it so often because of the 4-5 times you asked she rejected your advances, so you kept asking as the need was never met. You didn’t cross any boundary, you followed her request and respected her boundary. Especially if you didn’t try to continue to pursue sex when she said no.
She has every right to not want to have sex, just as you have every right to want it. Doesn’t seem like your compromise is working for either of you. Might be time for each of you to find someone you have more compatibility. If you stay, both of you will end up resentful. You by not having your physical needs met and her by feeling pressure to have sex.
Might be right. He’s told me I’ve made him question A LOT of things with his girlfriend and how he would want kids with me and everything. I guess things like that never help but you’re right
She's trying to puff herself up by putting you down. Not a good friend.
It doesn't matter what your mom thinks. It only matters what you and your BF think. Don't bother explaining it. If your mom continues to criticize you for it then just say “it's our relationship and it works for us and we both like it.”
I would love my partner to sing me to sleep. I would feel so much more loved and cared for.
Why do y’all do this? Insist muscle hypertrophy is the solution to any real problem… who is telling you that?
You bring it up. Be harsh and tell him that he's becoming a sex pest. Don't try to be gentle.
Yes? I’m not 100% sure why you think opening discussions in a calm and rational manner is a bad thing for relationships lol
Excellent point.
Lmao, this is hilarious. Alright
Being called a “dumb bitch” would definitely lead to me taking my kid and going to stay with someone else for a few days, bare minimum.
I think at this point all you can do is let your wife know you understand why she is upset, you accept it, and that you now see that your ex is manipulating you and has taught your daughter to do the same. Don’t try to defend your choice to be at her wedding, but don’t apologize for going either. You were in an impossible situation and made a choice. You learned from that choice, and letting your wife know that you see that there has been a lot of manipulation, and that you want to be there 100% for her – and for your new baby, so she doesn’t end up like Amanda, and hope that your wife will allow it.
As for Amanda – she is an adult now. She needs boundaries. Don’t apologize for leaving. Don’t defend it. Tell her that you love her and that you want to have a relationship with her, but that you will not neglect your family to do so. If she chooses to go NC, that is her choice, and as an adult she needs to make that decision rather than using her relationship with you as a bargaining chip. And as for your ex – your child with her is grown, and she’s married. There is no reason for you to have any relationship with her at all.
I see you commenting a lot wondering why his behavior would suddenly shift, and I just thought I'd put my two cents in as someone who has unfortunately been in several abusive relationships. It always always happened like that for me. They would suddenly change. I think it might be a combination of being in the “honeymoon phase” and you both think each other are the only thing in the universe that matters, and maybe you don't see the red flags in the beginning, or abusers might do this on purpose. They allow you to get comfortable and then try these manipulative tactics. And let me also say, it always progressed and got worse. It might just be these little tests now, but he will continue to do more and more drastic “tests” or whatever to get the response from you he wants. Get out now. A good rule of thumb is think, if he had done this on the first date would I have stayed or instantly ran away?
Agreed!
Ohh I may be, (read: most likely), abused and have PTSD from all these terrible Reddit binge reads I go on, but my first thought is that divorce has something to do with the closeness of the friendship between Ann and Billy. The only reason I'm not jumping there is because op says Everyone took Ann's side.
However, I go back to that feeling because it's a bright red flag that you Know you can't communicate because he'll get angry at the topic. Granted that question to him about her probably could have been worded different or even avoided entirely. But still, it's No wonder you have these feelings, I too have those feelings and it's not my life.
Girl dump him. He’s a sleaze.
While I don’t feel the same way as the user above, I think this is a pretty false equivalency.
There’s a bit difference between performance anxiety and self inflicted loss of sensation due to unhealthy masturbation habits. Especially related to born addiction. That’s goes for men and women.
Also taking into account how many men with this issue throw their hands up and refuse to address the issue. Their partner has to completely lead them by the nose through all the steps of recognizing there’s an issue, how to solve it, and consistently staying on their ass to ensure they’re doing what’s necessary. The hallmark of a good partner is being concerned about the overall quality of your sexual experience and your partners pleasure. Not giving a crap that you’re habits are effecting your performance since you can still find a way to ultimately get off with them is sad.
This is why you guys should take space from each other post-breakup. Does he regret the breakup and want to get back together? Maybe, but more likely it’s some confused feelings and you guys are just going to long out your breakup.
Ask your friendship group if they can hang out with you each separately for a few months whilst you get over your feelings. You guys can try being friends after you’ve gained a bit of distance.
I am so sorry for what you’ve gone through and continue to go through with your family. It’s honestly worrisome to me that your mother isn’t concerned about the damage you received from your treatment, and the damage other children may have received. I say you should, first off, consult a professional on how to approach this with your family.
However, If it were me, I would try to find some way to tell the family without my mother’s involvement, as she would likely try to discredit you. Maybe each familial unit in the broader family separately. But again, this is just my suggestion, and I think you should seek the advice of a therapist or social worker on how best to address this situation