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Date: December 18, 2022
What if I’m in the process of getting my shit together?
Everyone here has given great advice, but I want to chime in from a place of understanding:
When you meet someone and feel like there's potential, it's beyond exciting. Sure, maybe one or two things feel “off”, but no one gets along perfectly all of the time, right? And people outside of the relationship – particularly online – can be so quick to suggest breaking up. I've personally struggled with that because while well-intentioned, I feel like it's an “easier than it sounds” solution that dismisses the positive aspects of the relationship and the heartache it might incur.
With that said, the things he said are not just minor misunderstandings; they are legitimate red flags. I can't think of any friend or partner who would think it's appropriate when discussing boundaries to imply, “Well, I could have just assaulted you.” This is not a one-off. That's a very scary indication of how he views women, sex, and consent. Please know that there are good people out there who will have what you're looking for and treat you well. You deserve those things and you will find them, but from what you're telling us, you will not find them with him. Stay safe. ?
I’m afraid discussing it will just make it more awkward. We talked afterwards about normal stuff so I was just thinking about leaving it as it is.