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Whore, 24 y.o.
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Date: October 20, 2022
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Lol… you are truly not taking any responsibility for your actions… the only advice you took from here was to fight for the house and that it was yours.
This situation does not work for you. But she thinks she can put you off indefinitely. And thus far it’s been working. Serving her with papers should get her attention.
You might love each other and still not be compatible.
It happens.
No one is to blame. No one is wrong. But also don't think one of you (her) will suddenly “grow” into a person who doesn't drive you up the wall.
Yes, people mature over time, but watch it, her mature awakening may very well be how immature it was for her to wait around for you to want her.
These comments annihilated. As they should tho Op needs the brutal truth.
I’m not arguing that it has nothing to do with him being with her. That’d be as absurd as arguing that it is the reason he’s with her.
We don’t know. Period. Assumptions either way are bad.
Half of 25 = 12.5 + 7… so the age gap checks (?)
How old is the woman? Before you ride off into the sunset on your high horse tour husband may want to start inquiring into her health, dementia ? UTI? Is this normal for her, if not maybe try a bit of compassion.
She was hoping for a more appropriate follow through than a strip club.
They’re broken up. If she wanted more, she should have responded. People aren’t mind readers.
Thank you for your comment. I left him 2 months ago and will never go back. Thank you for helping me!
He’ll be happy to know you get hit with taxes everywhere else in. Those states so it actually doesn’t matter
Well OP says it's her date and says nothing about being his gf.
You respond to her by apologizing to her for that night in question and that it is not your intention to flirt and to be a home wrecker. Tell her that you will stop with the breakfast thing you're doing with her husband and if you've been texting with her husband off hour and/or for unprofessional reason, they will stop. From now on, you will only have professional relationship with her husband.
That's it, and STOP the breakfast thing you have with this guy. STOP with associating with him and his wife for any reason other than work.
It's better to just REMOVE yourself from this triangle drama, imo. You want a peaceful and somewhat decent work environment, so keep everything professional and stop befriending this particular coworker.
I know it's very hot to find friends, but you can try to meet people socially in US via that app Nextdoor (there are clubs, I've just joined some clubs there and met real nice people in the neighborhood) or meetup.
Also, never go too drunk, OP. It's unsafe for you. You're lucky the co-worker didn't do anything untoward, but you may not be so lucky if you keep continuing this type of behavior in the future. Be realistic about your own safety. Good luck.
I saw the ring and he has been hinting it for months. Also suggested living apart for the first year of marriage until we get our finances settled (we both online with parents) but he wants us to online together
Bad idea 1) staying with drug user.
you can move on with your life now or you can keep doing this until you grow a spine and leave him.
no one can comprehend what you are saying.
I would honestly ditch them BOTH. Let the rotten asses have one another, you take the house and alimony. ?
Jesus, the heartlessness of this post. He’d be devastated to read this. You clearly have no love or empathy for him as a person. Show him this post and it’ll resolve itself or do the mature thing after being immature your entire relationship and break up with him.
In order to do that, I would need to make double of what I am now ?. I online in California and honestly, I'm not sure if I could leave the state.
Send a cease-and-desist letter!!
Keep fucking her? I thought you didn’t?
420 friendly is great for ‘adults!’ I was thinking more micro dosing mycelium tbh!
Try r/Aspergers
Reddit is full of fucking idiots. Also we’re doing great by the way, very happy so fuck all of you. At the end of the day I don’t give a flying fuck what a bunch of retards on the internet have to say
Out of curiosity, what do you mean when you say “what sort of situation that would happen in”? Do you mean life situation, or the specific circumstances of your proposal?
Dude, what? You really want to be with 32 year old man that talks about women like a 19 year old frat boy? Yuck.
25 and 20 also feels gross. You're at 2 different places in life
There’s nothing you can say or do that will make abusers stop abusing you besides leaving them.
Oh OP…this is heartbreaking.
You are too young to be so desperate to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't give a DAMN about you, just because you don't want to be alone.
Please get some therapy for your self-esteem. If you stay with him long enough, you won't have any at all.
Because when it isn't like this I'm on top of the world. She goes over and above for us. And when I was going through a very hot time , she stuck by me. I do love her immensely.
I was 23 he was 20
Yup, then both get an attorney before disclosing either one knows about the cheating
Sounds like fun to me
He doesn't care about your health, only your weight. You are now seeing the creep that went after a teenager while he was in his 30s.
Don't be surprised if he starts looking for a new barely legal side piece and blaming it on you.
But the real issue is not her – it’s his boundaries. Unfortunately this is a him problem not a her problem. Are you comfortable in a relationship where he puts her first?
If it was me I would plan a dinner and discuss the relationship with him. Let him know you are unsettled with his “friend” being overly familiar with you. Let him know if he wants to run off after her, when you are doing planned activities it’s a no deal. Explain you are uncomfortable with the lack of boundaries in their friendship. Point out you are not entering into competition with his bestie or comparing yourself to past situations. However, you want a partner who puts you and the family you want to build first.
Red Flag Factory line leader. Prepare for a lot of stress with her.
Red Flag Factory line leader. Prepare for a lot of stress with her.
The broken family is an excuse. Something else is going on here. Removing traces of you off social media is highly sus. Sounds as if he's pursuing another person.
You are young! Take a step back and evaluate what's going on lately. Don't make this guy your one and only because it sounds like you're not to him. Stop being so nice at home. He's got it way too easy. Definitely in the why buy the cow range.
The worst thing that could happen is being left alone for me so whenever something like I need space or time alone I cannot handle the stress of it and I lose my mind. I have gotten better at controlling it but I've had a history of slipping with her whenever this happens and today was not a good day to do it.
Textbook grooming my friend. Run don’t walk away.
Love is not a solid reason to tolerate abuse. And your wife is abusing you.
Most would never chose a coworker over their husband. You deserve a life partner that is fully committed and head over heels in love with you. That's clearly not her.
You're both idiots and need some life experience, and money not just coming in, but saved up. Sincerely, an 18yr old mother 18years ago.
The breakdown is asinine. Did you talk about how things were going to be split before marrying her?
You guys may be way too fundamentally different for finances. You need to sit down with her and make a decision.
If she won't listen, cell phone is going off due to unfortunately needing money for important things / emergency. No credit card for her.
If everything is not agreed upon, you may need to even call quits on this marriage.
For real, I don't even have 1 dad, and she has 2 that clearly love her. Way to go.
jeeeez talk about not minding your own business
For sure, now is the time. I’m sure it’ll be for the best long run. Most good things are scary the first time. It’s normal to be scared about the future. If it’s the right person it’s not really a choice. I get that.
What advice do you want from Reddit? You did not HAVE to marry a 20 year old. You told her you wish she wasn’t born and meant nothing to you all because barely legal trim was more important. Reap what you sow. You picked reaping young pussy. Congrats on your choice I hope it was worth it. She probably will never want you around. You will not walk her down the aisle you will not see her children or know much about. All because you”had” to marry someone 22 years your junior. Online with it, she did nothing wrong.
This exact scenario happened to me a little over a year ago, like EXACTLY. The only difference is we were together for 12 years. Its going to take some time to process that betrayal but you absolutely can. Being the blindsided party means you didn't have the time she allowed herself to deal with the change. I'd second the comment about therapy, keep evaluating the things you're feeling in a healthy way and it will get better. I'm so sorry OP, but you've got this.
Side note: I also had the delayed proposal thrown in my face as an excuse for the cheating/leaving, and I too felt that it was my fault. I'm now engaged to the most amazing woman I've ever met. I KNEW I wanted to propose to her and there was no doubt. That's when I realized it wasn't just waiting to buy a house, or this or that that kept me from proposing to my ex. I just didn't want to as much as I thought I did.
The guy wh tony soprano loaned money to and then took his sporting goods store as collateral had it better than this girl. Jeez do I feel bad for her.
He's got no respect of friends. They'll see him after doing same thing to another friend.
I'll distance myself from him, if you can't cut him off.
Hate such friends.
Take pictures of all the broken things to remind you, him, anyone else why you need to cancel this wedding to protect yourself and your KIDS.
Wedding planning is stressful but it's also a good pre-wedding test to see how people deal with stress and life.
If he couldn't keep himself together for an engagement, he won't for a married life.
Don't put yourself or your kids in further danger with this guy. He's shown you what you need to know.
I do not know why, but reddit does not show me the ten comments it says there are. I can only see one which i've responded to. But I still want to thank everyone who took the time to answer me, I wish I could answer you back too.
You put in the effort on your side. If she doesn’t join you, then you know how she feels about the relationship.
You are only the most important person in the world to him UNTIL HE SLEEPS WITH YOU. Don't you think he probably made his wife feel that way once too? She married and had kids with him, after all. If you hook up with him, he's going to lose interest once you aren't the shiny new plaything anymore. In a year or two AT BEST he'd be moving on to a new 18 year old. He is using classic predator words by saying you “seem older than you are” (implying that pretending you're older is the only way for him to feel like it's OK to be attracted to you, he's TOTALLY not a groomer why would you think that!!?). He's taking advantage of his ability to work with you in private and he is trying to have sex with you. Not a relationship, not love, not even a long term friends with benefits. He is trying to cheat on his wife and hook up with you a couple times before ghosting you.
It just lumbs everyone together that isn't white and that doesn't sit right with me.
Lmao what?
Exactly. If a friend of mine expressed romantic and/or sexual interest in me, despite knowing that I was in a long term relationship, then that friendship would be over. Anything else is disrespectful to my partner, and to our relationship, and that makes it disrespectful to me.
That could have some unpleasant side effects, especially in a situation like OP’s boyfriend is in, where the other woman is part of a larger circle of friends. Her boyfriend is in a tough spot, but he’s apparently decided that his friends are more important to him than OP is.
That isn’t wrong, because this is not a simple binary decision. It’s about what he wants out of the relationship, and where he sees it going. He’s not ready to commit to her. Fair enough, but OP is also not wrong to decide that this trip is a dealbreaker. Especially since she doesn’t seem to have been insisting that her boyfriend cut that woman out of his life completely.
You got you “date” to storm off and block you so yeah I’d say you did something wrong. This post is full of “missing reasons” flags.
I go go a big school and a lot of them just want to hookup. This boy is the first respectful, genuine guy that I fw. Haven’t met anyone who has matched me in this way at my own school unfortunately.
Please respect yourself more than to allow yourself to be lied to about something that is the plain truth for everyone else to see. He didn’t “forget”. One doesn’t just simply “forget” their partner who they love and respect. Stop making excuses for the trash and take it to the curb where it belongs
You have a lot of FOMO and a lot of guilt and, I mean it in the sweetest way possible, you give off a martyr vibe.
Here’s what I would suggest. Use some of your money and freedom it provides and go off the grid for a month. Like really off the grid. Take a vacation in a remote location, let yourself disconnect from the world and connect with your own heart. After a few days of solitude, start asking yourself what do you miss more and what would you rather do – spend a nice evening cozying up with your GF at home or whatever it is that single bachelors do. Ask yourself everyday and if everyday the response is the same, you’ll have your answer.
I'm sorry your going through this and that he violated the terms of your agreement big I can't help but think that in that lifestyle you have to be prepared for the possibility of things like this happening.
I get it, and by no means do I think you are pathetic. But happy families aren't slapped together to avoid being lonely.
This also kinda furthers my therapy comment. I'm not saying it in a rude “you need therapy” kind of way. It just sounds like you could benefit from talking to a professional about this because they will give you the tools to handle these things in healthy ways instead of self soothing (which we all tend to do, I did until I was 28 when I finally got therapy).
I hope you find healing my friend, and always trust your gut. If you aren't ready for this commitment, that is fine. Take time to enjoy your relationship before being married, so you know its the right person and time.
If she's comparing you to her ex you need to get out of that relationship she's toxic as fuck
Honestly, break up with her. If you ever think “I can have better” for any reason, it's time to move on.
Let her find a man who is attracted to her.
Yeah we both online at home still
We just split things… Amicably, but painfully.
We decided that out of love for each other we can not continue being together while each of us want different things out of life.
Here’s the thing about boundaries. You are the only one who decides what they are. And they are your line in the sand. And you then act accordingly. A boundary is not telling someone what they can and cannot do. It is telling them if you do X, I will do Y. Such as, if you absolutely have to know where your partner is, and they are not willing/ able/ comfortable with doing that, then you are incompatible.
Chicago, I've never been there but I heard there are zero homeless people.
Never online with a boyfriend ever. You are learning why right now. Do not take this person back. You know why. You can't love someone you can't trust. He's put you in an awful situation. His “I might regret this” is saying he's going to go get laid, and if it's not working out, he's going to need sex with you. He knows you can't move out so you are his back up. You actually do have to move out. Or he does. Has to happen asap or you will have memories that you don't want. Like listening to him have a girl over. Or waiting for him to come home but he's gone for a few days and tells you it's non of your business what he was doing. It's going to get bad the longer you online together. Get out. Do whatever it takes.
Ive always been told I should go for the way the a man treats me not for looks
Don't online according to somebody else's definition of what your relationship should look like. You are already seeing the detriment to living that way, it's landed you in a relationship with no sexual intimacy, and sex is extremely important to a healthy relationship unless you are asexual (which you obviously aren't).
Never live! with a boyfriend ever. You are learning why right now. Do not take this person back. You know why. You can't love someone you can't trust. He's put you in an awful situation. His “I might regret this” is saying he's going to go get laid, and if it's not working out, he's going to need sex with you. He knows you can't move out so you are his back up. You actually do have to move out. Or he does. Has to happen asap or you will have memories that you don't want. Like listening to him have a girl over. Or waiting for him to come home but he's gone for a few days and tells you it's non of your business what he was doing. It's going to get bad the longer you online together. Get out. Do whatever it takes.
You dont seem like a walk in the park either, bud, but people compromise in a relationship and learn how to work with each other. It'd be a lonely world if every person with baggage couldn't be in a relationship.
And people still do find jobs that work for them because people have value beyond their disabilities.
It's not your job to protect his feelings. Keep that card in case there's any blowback from you declining his invitation. Also, tell the head of the department. This is really frowned upon.
I feel terrible for you right now.
There is a 0% chance that, at a minimum, he doesn't know she's into him and is enjoying it. If he admits to you that he knows what is going on, he'd have to address it, and then it would stop. Or she'd be upset.
Think about that long and very hot. You're upset. But he doesn't want to address your concerns because it might upset her.
One of you is going to be upset no matter what. And he has picked you to be that person.
This was likely written by the kind of bloke that thinks saying to a girl “I've never come from a BJ” will make her immediately give him one.
If you work in the mental health realm you should understand that you're the worst person your partner should be going to for mental heath support. You can't be the therapist she needs because the moment she expressed “a lot” on her mind – which if you think about it is a plea for some alone time to think – you turned it around to be about your desires (“I just really want to have a good day with you”). It sounds like you two spend way too much time together and that she'd like more time to herself. But it also sounds like you'd take that as some kind of personal affront to yourself. She could probably benefit by finding a counselor to talk to . You could probably benefit by developing some new hobbies or learning how to do the hobbies you already have without her. You two already have the age thing working against you, since you're a grown adult and she's still working on getting her brain fully developed. But it's also possible to have too much “togetherness” and forget how to operate as separate individuals.
Divorce?
Like, you don’t get the company and might be cut off from your family, and this seems like a lot, BUT;
You seem to online a miserable life at the moment (no offence). You have to decide which is the worse option.
Remember, you only have one life. Online it on your own terms, so on your deathbed you have no regrets.