94 thoughts on “WildAngel54 live webcams for YOU!”
A baby dog can be just about as difficult to handle as a human baby. The duration for how long it lasts is much shorter, but dogs also can't be neglected during their infancy. Doing so leads to a lot of behavioral problems and when they are young it is the easiest to correct behavior issues but also the easiest for them to pick up bad habits in a very short amount of time. Bad habits for dogs can often be dangerous either for themselves or the humans around them.
Also let's just say for a moment that maybe a puppy is a lot less work than a human baby, if he can't handle something supposedly so simple as a puppy and not a “real human child” then how can he possibly be expected to anything meaningful as a parent?
It is never unreasonable to ask for a partner to handle at least some of the housework, even if one partner is a homemaker/not working. You can call out of work or use PTO from a job if you need a break, a homemaker doesn't necessarily get that benefit. If they are sick they still have to cook, clean, etc while their partner is at work. I bet if the working person calls out sick they get taken care of by their homemaker partner, on top of them completing other household tasks, it must be nice.
Something also has to be said about a lack of personal and financial freedom that comes from being a homemaker. There is a lot of self sacrifice that comes with agreeing to take care of someone else in any capacity, let alone as a full time job plus OT, with no actual money in her own bank account/wallet where he has no access to it. “You get everything handed to you” So we are assuming all of her needs are perfectly met simply by not working a job but it sounds like a lot of her emotional needs are being neglected. She just says he makes enough for them to on-line comfortably, I'd hardly say that's enough to act like everything she ever wants is just handed to her on a silver platter. Clearly he can't hand her nice treatment and emotional labor.
I always thought being a home maker must be so easy blah blah blah but I'd rather work. I make my own money and don't have to rely on someone else understanding why I need/want certain things that cost different amounts of money, especially considering I have several chronic illnesses. I don't have to get approval and permission for anything that costs money etc. 9 times out of 10 there is a lot of sacrifice of individual needs when you have no control over the income because now you suddenly have to justify your needs to someone who should be on your side but instead wants to hold it against you because you have it “easy” and should be “grateful” for whatever crumbs you get all while demanding you handle everything on your own and put them on a pedestal without asking them to do much of anything for you in return. I'd rather be treated like an equal partner and a romantic interest in my relationship than a live-in maid/chef/escort. I would be willing to bet he always expects her to be in the mood when he is and expects her to be happy with minimal or no affectionate behavior too all while functioning as a stress relief tool for himself.
A baby dog can be just about as difficult to handle as a human baby. The duration for how long it lasts is much shorter, but dogs also can't be neglected during their infancy. Doing so leads to a lot of behavioral problems and when they are young it is the easiest to correct behavior issues but also the easiest for them to pick up bad habits in a very short amount of time. Bad habits for dogs can often be dangerous either for themselves or the humans around them.
Also let's just say for a moment that maybe a puppy is a lot less work than a human baby, if he can't handle something supposedly so simple as a puppy and not a “real human child” then how can he possibly be expected to anything meaningful as a parent?
It is never unreasonable to ask for a partner to handle at least some of the housework, even if one partner is a homemaker/not working. You can call out of work or use PTO from a job if you need a break, a homemaker doesn't necessarily get that benefit. If they are sick they still have to cook, clean, etc while their partner is at work. I bet if the working person calls out sick they get taken care of by their homemaker partner, on top of them completing other household tasks, it must be nice.
Something also has to be said about a lack of personal and financial freedom that comes from being a homemaker. There is a lot of self sacrifice that comes with agreeing to take care of someone else in any capacity, let alone as a full time job plus OT, with no actual money in her own bank account/wallet where he has no access to it. “You get everything handed to you” So we are assuming all of her needs are perfectly met simply by not working a job but it sounds like a lot of her emotional needs are being neglected. She just says he makes enough for them to on-line comfortably, I'd hardly say that's enough to act like everything she ever wants is just handed to her on a silver platter. Clearly he can't hand her nice treatment and emotional labor.
I always thought being a home maker must be so easy blah blah blah but I'd rather work. I make my own money and don't have to rely on someone else understanding why I need/want certain things that cost different amounts of money, especially considering I have several chronic illnesses. I don't have to get approval and permission for anything that costs money etc. 9 times out of 10 there is a lot of sacrifice of individual needs when you have no control over the income because now you suddenly have to justify your needs to someone who should be on your side but instead wants to hold it against you because you have it “easy” and should be “grateful” for whatever crumbs you get all while demanding you handle everything on your own and put them on a pedestal without asking them to do much of anything for you in return. I'd rather be treated like an equal partner and a romantic interest in my relationship than a live-in maid/chef/escort. I would be willing to bet he always expects her to be in the mood when he is and expects her to be happy with minimal or no affectionate behavior too all while functioning as a stress relief tool for himself.
Your boyfriend will “let” him cover?? You don’t get a say in that??
I don’t kind of get where your bf is coming from. You don’t really feel like you can relax when you have overnight guests. However, it’s just once a month, then bf should suck it. He should suck it up it were once a week. Any more than that and I’d be uncomfortable too.
It’s just a reality that medical school takes an extra ordinary amount of focus for a long time.
If you want to be a doctor these are the sacrifices that have to be made. If he can’t support you in that he is not the one.
Never is choosing the relationship over medical school going to be the right decision. Your life partner would know how important this is to you and not be so selfish.
You can’t love someone out of mental illness. You cannot negotiate with mental illness. If someone is suicidal then your compassion can only delay not cure. I have twice survived suicide and I guarantee that nothing you do will help your GF. She needs therapy. Until she addresses her mental illness, her behavior will not change. Even if she is using threats to manipulate you, that’s also a sign that she needs professional help. If she threatens to kill herself, assume that she is being serious and call emergency medical services (911, 999, whatever it is where you are). Serious threats get serious reactions. Once she is getting help then give her support and compassion. Your participation can help therapy but it cannot replace it. The greatest act of love you can do for her is realizing that this is a battle you cannot win. This is not a battle that you are even qualified to fight.
Very hot take I guess, but he is allowed to feel uncomfortable with what happened. Maybe saying that it’s “cheating” goes a bit too far, but I can totally see a reality where BF just felt uncomfortable with OP showing off body parts that are generally considered intimate to other people.
You’re totally in the right to think he’s being ridiculous, but the facts are that he felt uncomfortable with what happened, and OP have to decide if something like this is worth ending the relationship over.
“Hey, what are you doing Thursday? I have some errands to run, but I’d like to stop and grab a coffee with you- I wanted to pick your ear about a few things, nothing super serious but easiest to talk about in the same room lol.” If coffee goes AWESOME and the feelings are there after talking, turn it into a date and go learn how to fall down on skates together; if it gets awkward and the feelings are there, reserve that option for later; if the feelings are not there, then mention you probably need space for a while and that you need to process this privately for real closure.
That didn't make any sense. Is she counting credits?
Don't let anyone hold you back. Follow your educational path as it unfolds before you. Do not hold back for any reason other than you aren't ready for it yourself. If you're ready and can handle the course load, Do it!
You kind of just need to sit down and talk to her about a clearer break up of chores. No one likes to do them but if she is a stay at home mom and has that much time she can certainly pick up the slack.
He is actually single and wants a real relationship, not just sex. He’s waiting for the right girl because his last girlfriend used him. The same thing happened to me so I can relate to him. He’s really nice.
Feels like a set up. He asked you that expecting you to ask the same in return so he could give those numbers. He had that locked and loaded, fully prepared just to make you feel what you feel now.
My guy, you seem to never take time off from relationships. You were with a girl ALL OF HIGH SCHOOL and then started dating right away in college. You are immature still and you don't know what you want yet you keep making all the wrong choices.
My parents stayed miserable together for the sake of the kids for 20 years. Now all 3 of us have a lot of trauma baggage because of it. Leaving an unhappy marriage is usually better for children, as seeing your parents unhappy doesn’t do them any good. At best it could give them unhealthy views on love and relationships.
Come clean to your husband and try to end things as amicably as possible.
You're already being controlling. You need isn’t his beef. Your issue is You hold grudges and need to learn to let things go. It's not like she motorboat him.
But you yourself commented it could have been family or friends. So you see a hair, go straight to he could be lying or not checking in with me? Thats not good, probably best to let this one go. If you’re that suspicious, long distance probably won’t work for you.
Honestly I think many people have a more idealized view of Canada. The cold weather does suck, but so do a lot of other things. Healthcare may be free, but it's pretty horrible. I've been waiting 8 months now to see a specialist and no idea how much time is left. It took months for me to get an ultrasound when the doctor suspected I had kidney stones. ER wait times are through the roof.
Also, not sure how much relevancy this has but my boyfriend is fairly rich, so his plan is to buy property in the US over 800K. When you do that you get some kind of access, I'm not sure exactly how it all works but he's done research into this.
I guess for me it's not just about the political views, but about what these views say about him as a person.
It’s a green light that she sees you as a friend, at the very least. Maybe more. Very hot to say at this point, but you’re certainly showing her a wonderful and considerate side of yourself!
If you want to continue being a respectful and classy individual, you might consider inviting her out for coffee sometime…
Well you both have cheated on partners. Can you ever be 100% trusted? Can she? Sure you can have a successful relationship but I don't know that full trust can ever be attained.
She's settling for you. I wouldn't be able to get over this, abd let's be real here, if you had slept with 2 girls during those 10 days and ahe knew, she wouldn't have kept on dating you.
On one hand she's lovely. She messages she loves me, I'm on her Instagram posts and she's introduced me to all her friends and even her co -workers know about me but on the other hand she is able to lie to my face, even after I told her honesty is important to me, she still stuck with her story.
I can assure you there are women who do this and far more and still cheat, I had an ex who tattooed my name very big and bold on her waist even though i told her not to, just to prove to me that she loves me and im the only one, and guess what, she was cheating on me, to this day i haven't seen the tattoo in person only on a picture the day she did it
Not every guy they cheat with will have an empathetic conscience and realize that what he's doing is bad and he needs to come clean to you, most of them don't really give a shit and the fact she has a boyfriend would just be more thrill to them. She continued to lie even though you told her how important being honest in the relationship is, that just shows she has no respect for nether you nor the relationship
Would you not be happier alone than putting up with this? Honestly? Because allowing someone to constantly put you down weather “joking” or not is going to have long term negative physiological implications. Take care of yourself.
Is one of the reasons she's scared is that using condoms or you getting a vasectomy means she's not in control of the means of contraception? I'm a guy, but I imagine having a pregnancy scare and being pressure to keep it like that would make her want to be in control of the birth control.
I'm not saying she doesn't trust you. Just that she needs to be the one doing it for her well being. Has she looked into cervical cups at all? That might give her the confidence to go ahead with sex using condoms since she'd know the cup was in place in case the condom broke or something.
I think what needs to happen is the conversation “What would let you feel it's safe for us to have sex?” It's not blaming her for her feelings. It's not saying she needs to change–that's why it says “let you feel” and not “make you feel”. It's also open to the answer being “nothing” at which point which shifts it to you two deciding how or if the relationship can work.
Well if we lived in a matriarchal society where women see men as property, then there might be a comparison to be made. That power imbalance reflects in the sex industry and men generally have a different experience than women. That being said, it’s still a risky profession no matter your gender.
Generally I don’t think sex should be paid for at all. Men have grown to believe that sex is something they are entitled to. Like buying a pack of cigarettes. As a society we’ve grown to be so sex obsessed it’s gross. I think too many people are addicted to porn. Violent porn. “Teen” porn. It’s a huge problem.
You’re a teenager. I don’t blame you for anything. You are simply brought up in this world, it’s easy to see how so many end up the same way. I hope you stay safe.
If he's a fuckbuddy supposedly there arent any great relationship plans – you're in it for the sex and not the drama or commitment. Theres definitely drama here so how about you stop seeing him?
Man you collect broken women like baseball cards. If you want to be a therapist, go back to school. Otherwise you need butt out and let professionals handle these issues.
Look, I appreciate you at least trying to be kind.
Its not about boo-hoo you. Its that they struck first. I begged, her. I was on my knees, cuz I could feel my limbs, I begged her just for a little to stay. She didnt. She left me. I know my father heard me cry. The guy could hear me when I was watching a youtube video…this is when he stopped hearing me. U kidding me.
It was the very next moment, when I saw them act as fake as they did. Act like, hey its just a normal afternoon. That I thought to myself, I gotta get out.
I really don’t get all the stupid ass comments on here. “It’s their sex life”, “it’s their business, not yours”. Well, news flash. He’s not the first be who made it public and he’s ignored the consequences of their inability to keep their sex life private. They did this by having their dates in public where they could be caught by their son (and his friends). Then when mom gets confronted by her teenage son thinking she’s cheating on his dad, they drag his ass into their car and yell at him and say he’s overacting and won’t let the poor bastard process the absolute trauma of finding out EVERYTHING YOUR PARENTS TAUGHT YOU ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS WAS A LIE. Then shove his ass in the house and then go get fucked while he screams and cries for support from them.
Yeah, fuck those assholes and all their defenders. I wouldn’t invite these horrible so-called parents to my wedding or my life if it was the last thing I do. These selfish narcissists destroyed one of the most important relationships a person has, invalidated his feelings, ignored his pleas for love, support, and comfort, and pretended nothing happens.
You wonder why OP has issues with his parents and thinks this is about their lifestyle choices. Are you all stupid or dense? OP isn't haven't issues about his parents (both of them and not just his mom as he states they both caused this mess) it's about the complete lack of care for how this all affected him and making sure he got the support he needed to process and come to terms with all their lies and actions. That's the bloody issue here.
They didn't care what he thought or how this affected him as long they could keep doing what they wanted and keep their marriage and relationship secure. You don't just blow up your kid's worldview (you created), attack their feelings, ignore his pleas for help, pretend everything is normal, and not have serious consequences in your relationship with said child. That's not how it works. Getting cut out of your child's life and getting ignored by them is how it usually works.
OP needs therapy, but he doesn't need his god-awful sperm and egg donors in his life as they gave that up when they decided they were more important than taking care of their son's trauma properly (and taking a break till he was more stable).
I'm wishing OP the best and I would encourage him to take his fiancé to couples counseling (or a therapy session or two with you) to explain why she should mind her business with your relationship with your “parents” and support you on this. I would also suggest posting this in r/estrangedadultchild or a similar subreddit dealing with similar subject matters as this one isn't very helpful with it.
Usually people have very little success unless the option of being a FWB is removed.
Let's be real here. He is getting all of the good parts of a relationship (sex, dates, attention, etc.) while putting forth no effort. For a relationship to work you need rules, boundaries, and you have to mutually meet each others expectations. And when you don't meet those expectations you fight. And fighting a normal part of a relationship because no one is perfect.
I'm willing to bet money he is going to say the same thing that most people say when asked to change the terms of a FWB into a relationship.
” I'm not dating anyone else and I don't think that we need a title to know how we feel about each other “.
I mean isn’t it easier to break up a regular relationship than an engaged relationship? So if you find out they’re not right after living together, it’s easier to end things before you’ve announced your engagement to the world…
I’m confused about how your rule stops you from marrying the wrong person.
But you do you! If this is your boundary, I totally respect that but you probably need to come to terms with the fact it might be a deal breaker for a lot of people, including some guys that are really fantastic ?♀️
Dude, keep using protection! Put your condoms in someplace safe in case she tampers with them! If she keeps blowing up at you over that, hell, I'd run! Better being broken up with no kids than with a kid
I'm sorry but you are absolutely being immature. He's realizing that you can't 100% say you'd get an abortion (ok, fine) but that he 100% doesn't want a kid right now (also fine) and since BC isn't 100% effective (very true) he'd rather double up with condoms too. Your reaction to this very mature and smart decision is to say “well if you're using condoms I'm going off BC” even though condoms also aren't 100% effective… Just because you suddenly worry he might be thinking about cheating? Grow up or stop having sex.
When people are looking for reasons to be upset they can usually find them. Unfortunately far too many guys will try to get flirty even with their platonic female friends. Your girlfriend seems to have mastered the art of deflecting that, as most woman have to. What to do comes down to an explanation of “cheated on again”. If this exact girlfriend cheated on you in the past maybe you're justified a wee bit of worry. But if you're dragging emotional baggage from a past relationship into this you need to step off before you ruin this.
Guy, plans change. Pregnancy is fucking very hot. Emotionally, physically, mentally. Everything you thought you knew is turned upside down. Your body isn't your own anymore. You have to share it with a tiny human and a full grown human who both demand 100% of you. Motherhood can make you feel trapped and alone. It's not something you even know will happen until it does, and it's absolutely her decision to add or not add more needy humams into her life. You can plan to be a mother your entire life and then when you actually go through it, it's not anything like you expected.
I love my children, but am apathetic towards other kids. My kids are 18 and 21. I willingly help others with kids that need help if they ask and if a kid is in need, I'll help, but I don't volunteer. It's perfectly normal to not worship motherhood or children.
When people are looking for reasons to be upset they can usually find them. Unfortunately far too many guys will try to get flirty even with their platonic female friends. Your girlfriend seems to have mastered the art of deflecting that, as most woman have to. What to do comes down to an explanation of “cheated on again”. If this exact girlfriend cheated on you in the past maybe you're justified a wee bit of worry. But if you're dragging emotional baggage from a past relationship into this you need to step off before you ruin this.
There is a kind of chain these Indian families have. For her parents, they want me to get approval from my parents. We've met Sometimes. We've had the conversation about us getting married before too, and I was the one who was sure about my parents.
When I was a teenager my parents had a similar problem, which would result in my Dad's brain being chewed out way too much. I was learning Photoshop, so I made a mock 3D image of the room in question and would make mockups for my Mom, so that she could get a rough idea of how it would look while leaving my Dad alone.
I'm pretty sure there are only solutions for that, in actual 3D, that should be user-friendly. It might make sense to look into that. Or hire furniture movers every time, because it's ridiculous to be lifting heavy stuff at 48 because of someone's random curiosity.
I absolutely agree with you on every single point. There is a good reason why many companies don’t allow office romance at all, and why the ones that do often require that you report it and/or work in different departments. This is WAY too much to bring into a workplace relationship of any kind, especially romance.
Honestly, you should unpack this in therapy. You should also ditch your boyfriend, block him on everything and start moving on. Don’t jump on your friend – take time for yourself for a bit. Work with your therapist on your self esteem and feeling unlovable.
Your boyfriend doesn’t deserve more chances, because he is trying to be better. You don’t owe him a relationship, because he hasn’t cheated again. This is a gift you can give him, but not something he has any right to.
Can it happen again, with someone else? Of course it can. Cheating happens. However, it absolutely doesn’t have to. Also, if it does…the person is clearly not worth it and needs to be ditched – because YOU deserve better.
Pretty much every guy my age has been with more girls than me. But I don't care. Because the past is the past. And they wouldn't be with me if they didn't want to be. She obviously thinks you're a great person if she's spent a couple of months with you. This is an insecurity on your part — she doesn't see you like this. This is in YOUR head.
And therapy isn't for weak people. It's for people to face their challenges in life. And it's worth the time and work you put into it. I'd recommend it to anybody. Especially somebody who's facing the absurd insecurities that you are.
A part of me will always wonder, maybe there could be something if I tried very hot enough…but then after that last encounter, I feel within my gut that there absolutely is not. Fundamentally, there is no trust, and I am terrified she is going to ruthlessly cut me off again. I am sick of having to mourn the loss of idealised futures I create with people in my head.
You need to have a frank discussion about financial planning. She is behaving like you are a money pit.. Perhaps she's not the woman you should marry.
You definitely don't have the same Outlook on life or the same priorities. It's one thing being financially irresponsible with your own money, but she is activity trying to be irresponsible with yours too.
Obviously a therapist of some kind (or support for surviving sexual assault) is best positioned to give advice about your reaction and being brought back to trauma. But the thing I, a layman would say, is that I used to be really uncomfortable with blowjobs because they seemed really aggressive and kind of scary to me. One thing that helped in being intimate in that way (with my trusted partner) is that you don’t have to put someone’s whole penis in your mouth. If it’s something you still want to do, try just kissing and using your mouth to touch instead of just straight up giving head. It might give the same intimate feeling without the trigger. He can also be careful to keep hands away from your head/face, which might also help.
Don’t call him back. He treated you horribly and is now acting entitled to your time. Simply send a text that you felt disrespected by his behavior last year and you’re not interested in being friends or anything more
Do you have any more self respect to lose? Like dude leave him. You’re literally 21. Afraid you won’t love someone the same? How can you even love him?
A baby dog can be just about as difficult to handle as a human baby. The duration for how long it lasts is much shorter, but dogs also can't be neglected during their infancy. Doing so leads to a lot of behavioral problems and when they are young it is the easiest to correct behavior issues but also the easiest for them to pick up bad habits in a very short amount of time. Bad habits for dogs can often be dangerous either for themselves or the humans around them.
Also let's just say for a moment that maybe a puppy is a lot less work than a human baby, if he can't handle something supposedly so simple as a puppy and not a “real human child” then how can he possibly be expected to anything meaningful as a parent?
It is never unreasonable to ask for a partner to handle at least some of the housework, even if one partner is a homemaker/not working. You can call out of work or use PTO from a job if you need a break, a homemaker doesn't necessarily get that benefit. If they are sick they still have to cook, clean, etc while their partner is at work. I bet if the working person calls out sick they get taken care of by their homemaker partner, on top of them completing other household tasks, it must be nice.
Something also has to be said about a lack of personal and financial freedom that comes from being a homemaker. There is a lot of self sacrifice that comes with agreeing to take care of someone else in any capacity, let alone as a full time job plus OT, with no actual money in her own bank account/wallet where he has no access to it. “You get everything handed to you” So we are assuming all of her needs are perfectly met simply by not working a job but it sounds like a lot of her emotional needs are being neglected. She just says he makes enough for them to on-line comfortably, I'd hardly say that's enough to act like everything she ever wants is just handed to her on a silver platter. Clearly he can't hand her nice treatment and emotional labor.
I always thought being a home maker must be so easy blah blah blah but I'd rather work. I make my own money and don't have to rely on someone else understanding why I need/want certain things that cost different amounts of money, especially considering I have several chronic illnesses. I don't have to get approval and permission for anything that costs money etc. 9 times out of 10 there is a lot of sacrifice of individual needs when you have no control over the income because now you suddenly have to justify your needs to someone who should be on your side but instead wants to hold it against you because you have it “easy” and should be “grateful” for whatever crumbs you get all while demanding you handle everything on your own and put them on a pedestal without asking them to do much of anything for you in return. I'd rather be treated like an equal partner and a romantic interest in my relationship than a live-in maid/chef/escort. I would be willing to bet he always expects her to be in the mood when he is and expects her to be happy with minimal or no affectionate behavior too all while functioning as a stress relief tool for himself.
A baby dog can be just about as difficult to handle as a human baby. The duration for how long it lasts is much shorter, but dogs also can't be neglected during their infancy. Doing so leads to a lot of behavioral problems and when they are young it is the easiest to correct behavior issues but also the easiest for them to pick up bad habits in a very short amount of time. Bad habits for dogs can often be dangerous either for themselves or the humans around them.
Also let's just say for a moment that maybe a puppy is a lot less work than a human baby, if he can't handle something supposedly so simple as a puppy and not a “real human child” then how can he possibly be expected to anything meaningful as a parent?
It is never unreasonable to ask for a partner to handle at least some of the housework, even if one partner is a homemaker/not working. You can call out of work or use PTO from a job if you need a break, a homemaker doesn't necessarily get that benefit. If they are sick they still have to cook, clean, etc while their partner is at work. I bet if the working person calls out sick they get taken care of by their homemaker partner, on top of them completing other household tasks, it must be nice.
Something also has to be said about a lack of personal and financial freedom that comes from being a homemaker. There is a lot of self sacrifice that comes with agreeing to take care of someone else in any capacity, let alone as a full time job plus OT, with no actual money in her own bank account/wallet where he has no access to it. “You get everything handed to you” So we are assuming all of her needs are perfectly met simply by not working a job but it sounds like a lot of her emotional needs are being neglected. She just says he makes enough for them to on-line comfortably, I'd hardly say that's enough to act like everything she ever wants is just handed to her on a silver platter. Clearly he can't hand her nice treatment and emotional labor.
I always thought being a home maker must be so easy blah blah blah but I'd rather work. I make my own money and don't have to rely on someone else understanding why I need/want certain things that cost different amounts of money, especially considering I have several chronic illnesses. I don't have to get approval and permission for anything that costs money etc. 9 times out of 10 there is a lot of sacrifice of individual needs when you have no control over the income because now you suddenly have to justify your needs to someone who should be on your side but instead wants to hold it against you because you have it “easy” and should be “grateful” for whatever crumbs you get all while demanding you handle everything on your own and put them on a pedestal without asking them to do much of anything for you in return. I'd rather be treated like an equal partner and a romantic interest in my relationship than a live-in maid/chef/escort. I would be willing to bet he always expects her to be in the mood when he is and expects her to be happy with minimal or no affectionate behavior too all while functioning as a stress relief tool for himself.
Your boyfriend will “let” him cover?? You don’t get a say in that??
I don’t kind of get where your bf is coming from. You don’t really feel like you can relax when you have overnight guests. However, it’s just once a month, then bf should suck it. He should suck it up it were once a week. Any more than that and I’d be uncomfortable too.
It's only once a month. Bf is unreasonable.
It’s just a reality that medical school takes an extra ordinary amount of focus for a long time.
If you want to be a doctor these are the sacrifices that have to be made. If he can’t support you in that he is not the one.
Never is choosing the relationship over medical school going to be the right decision. Your life partner would know how important this is to you and not be so selfish.
You can’t love someone out of mental illness. You cannot negotiate with mental illness. If someone is suicidal then your compassion can only delay not cure. I have twice survived suicide and I guarantee that nothing you do will help your GF. She needs therapy. Until she addresses her mental illness, her behavior will not change. Even if she is using threats to manipulate you, that’s also a sign that she needs professional help. If she threatens to kill herself, assume that she is being serious and call emergency medical services (911, 999, whatever it is where you are). Serious threats get serious reactions. Once she is getting help then give her support and compassion. Your participation can help therapy but it cannot replace it. The greatest act of love you can do for her is realizing that this is a battle you cannot win. This is not a battle that you are even qualified to fight.
Very hot take I guess, but he is allowed to feel uncomfortable with what happened. Maybe saying that it’s “cheating” goes a bit too far, but I can totally see a reality where BF just felt uncomfortable with OP showing off body parts that are generally considered intimate to other people.
You’re totally in the right to think he’s being ridiculous, but the facts are that he felt uncomfortable with what happened, and OP have to decide if something like this is worth ending the relationship over.
My husband bought all my vibrators for me! Love laying in bed next to him with my magic wand casting spells. Lol They are team mates not competition.
“Hey, what are you doing Thursday? I have some errands to run, but I’d like to stop and grab a coffee with you- I wanted to pick your ear about a few things, nothing super serious but easiest to talk about in the same room lol.” If coffee goes AWESOME and the feelings are there after talking, turn it into a date and go learn how to fall down on skates together; if it gets awkward and the feelings are there, reserve that option for later; if the feelings are not there, then mention you probably need space for a while and that you need to process this privately for real closure.
If he is that wealthy and it's THAT important that you be there, he should be paying for you as his guest. Does this guy have any redeeming qualities?
That didn't make any sense. Is she counting credits?
Don't let anyone hold you back. Follow your educational path as it unfolds before you. Do not hold back for any reason other than you aren't ready for it yourself. If you're ready and can handle the course load, Do it!
You kind of just need to sit down and talk to her about a clearer break up of chores. No one likes to do them but if she is a stay at home mom and has that much time she can certainly pick up the slack.
He is actually single and wants a real relationship, not just sex. He’s waiting for the right girl because his last girlfriend used him. The same thing happened to me so I can relate to him. He’s really nice.
Feels like a set up. He asked you that expecting you to ask the same in return so he could give those numbers. He had that locked and loaded, fully prepared just to make you feel what you feel now.
i actually loled at this…….did you husband like to tell the tale? mine definitely wouldn’t have! ?
True
My guy, you seem to never take time off from relationships. You were with a girl ALL OF HIGH SCHOOL and then started dating right away in college. You are immature still and you don't know what you want yet you keep making all the wrong choices.
He fell in love with another woman while still dating his poor ex and then immediately got together with her. That is textbook emotional cheating.
Other aspects of life like what?
My parents stayed miserable together for the sake of the kids for 20 years. Now all 3 of us have a lot of trauma baggage because of it. Leaving an unhappy marriage is usually better for children, as seeing your parents unhappy doesn’t do them any good. At best it could give them unhealthy views on love and relationships.
Come clean to your husband and try to end things as amicably as possible.
You're already being controlling. You need isn’t his beef. Your issue is You hold grudges and need to learn to let things go. It's not like she motorboat him.
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It’s your party and they can cry if they want to. Don’t invite them!
But you yourself commented it could have been family or friends. So you see a hair, go straight to he could be lying or not checking in with me? Thats not good, probably best to let this one go. If you’re that suspicious, long distance probably won’t work for you.
Honestly I think many people have a more idealized view of Canada. The cold weather does suck, but so do a lot of other things. Healthcare may be free, but it's pretty horrible. I've been waiting 8 months now to see a specialist and no idea how much time is left. It took months for me to get an ultrasound when the doctor suspected I had kidney stones. ER wait times are through the roof.
Also, not sure how much relevancy this has but my boyfriend is fairly rich, so his plan is to buy property in the US over 800K. When you do that you get some kind of access, I'm not sure exactly how it all works but he's done research into this.
I guess for me it's not just about the political views, but about what these views say about him as a person.
It’s a green light that she sees you as a friend, at the very least. Maybe more. Very hot to say at this point, but you’re certainly showing her a wonderful and considerate side of yourself!
If you want to continue being a respectful and classy individual, you might consider inviting her out for coffee sometime…
Well you both have cheated on partners. Can you ever be 100% trusted? Can she? Sure you can have a successful relationship but I don't know that full trust can ever be attained.
She's settling for you. I wouldn't be able to get over this, abd let's be real here, if you had slept with 2 girls during those 10 days and ahe knew, she wouldn't have kept on dating you.
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How do you know what grinder is but yeah probably gay or maybe robs gays for money and drugs
On one hand she's lovely. She messages she loves me, I'm on her Instagram posts and she's introduced me to all her friends and even her co -workers know about me but on the other hand she is able to lie to my face, even after I told her honesty is important to me, she still stuck with her story.
I can assure you there are women who do this and far more and still cheat, I had an ex who tattooed my name very big and bold on her waist even though i told her not to, just to prove to me that she loves me and im the only one, and guess what, she was cheating on me, to this day i haven't seen the tattoo in person only on a picture the day she did it
Not every guy they cheat with will have an empathetic conscience and realize that what he's doing is bad and he needs to come clean to you, most of them don't really give a shit and the fact she has a boyfriend would just be more thrill to them. She continued to lie even though you told her how important being honest in the relationship is, that just shows she has no respect for nether you nor the relationship
Proves he can use the “test” card and get away with anything from now on
Two months? Dump him.
Too long. He doesn’t care snot any of that any. “Hey shithead, it’s over. Don’t contact me again.” All that other stuff is unnecessary.
Would you not be happier alone than putting up with this? Honestly? Because allowing someone to constantly put you down weather “joking” or not is going to have long term negative physiological implications. Take care of yourself.
Young for today's standards. People are having kids in their mid 30s nowadays
Is one of the reasons she's scared is that using condoms or you getting a vasectomy means she's not in control of the means of contraception? I'm a guy, but I imagine having a pregnancy scare and being pressure to keep it like that would make her want to be in control of the birth control.
I'm not saying she doesn't trust you. Just that she needs to be the one doing it for her well being. Has she looked into cervical cups at all? That might give her the confidence to go ahead with sex using condoms since she'd know the cup was in place in case the condom broke or something.
I think what needs to happen is the conversation “What would let you feel it's safe for us to have sex?” It's not blaming her for her feelings. It's not saying she needs to change–that's why it says “let you feel” and not “make you feel”. It's also open to the answer being “nothing” at which point which shifts it to you two deciding how or if the relationship can work.
Land blasted? You mean lambasted???
I do believe her going will have any impact.
Well if we lived in a matriarchal society where women see men as property, then there might be a comparison to be made. That power imbalance reflects in the sex industry and men generally have a different experience than women. That being said, it’s still a risky profession no matter your gender.
Generally I don’t think sex should be paid for at all. Men have grown to believe that sex is something they are entitled to. Like buying a pack of cigarettes. As a society we’ve grown to be so sex obsessed it’s gross. I think too many people are addicted to porn. Violent porn. “Teen” porn. It’s a huge problem.
You’re a teenager. I don’t blame you for anything. You are simply brought up in this world, it’s easy to see how so many end up the same way. I hope you stay safe.
If he's a fuckbuddy supposedly there arent any great relationship plans – you're in it for the sex and not the drama or commitment. Theres definitely drama here so how about you stop seeing him?
That’s exactly what I tried to do but my husband refused a divorce. So I continued to get to know the guy long distance.
She's not even listening to anyone in here. Like, what was the point of posting in here, then?
I'm scared of him now but yes
Right, because couples don’t try to get people into a threesome with them ever.
Man you collect broken women like baseball cards. If you want to be a therapist, go back to school. Otherwise you need butt out and let professionals handle these issues.
You fought the good fight (unnecessarily) and it’s time to run.
This!!!
Look, I appreciate you at least trying to be kind.
Its not about boo-hoo you. Its that they struck first. I begged, her. I was on my knees, cuz I could feel my limbs, I begged her just for a little to stay. She didnt. She left me. I know my father heard me cry. The guy could hear me when I was watching a youtube video…this is when he stopped hearing me. U kidding me.
It was the very next moment, when I saw them act as fake as they did. Act like, hey its just a normal afternoon. That I thought to myself, I gotta get out.
I really don’t get all the stupid ass comments on here. “It’s their sex life”, “it’s their business, not yours”. Well, news flash. He’s not the first be who made it public and he’s ignored the consequences of their inability to keep their sex life private. They did this by having their dates in public where they could be caught by their son (and his friends). Then when mom gets confronted by her teenage son thinking she’s cheating on his dad, they drag his ass into their car and yell at him and say he’s overacting and won’t let the poor bastard process the absolute trauma of finding out EVERYTHING YOUR PARENTS TAUGHT YOU ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS WAS A LIE. Then shove his ass in the house and then go get fucked while he screams and cries for support from them.
Yeah, fuck those assholes and all their defenders. I wouldn’t invite these horrible so-called parents to my wedding or my life if it was the last thing I do. These selfish narcissists destroyed one of the most important relationships a person has, invalidated his feelings, ignored his pleas for love, support, and comfort, and pretended nothing happens.
You wonder why OP has issues with his parents and thinks this is about their lifestyle choices. Are you all stupid or dense? OP isn't haven't issues about his parents (both of them and not just his mom as he states they both caused this mess) it's about the complete lack of care for how this all affected him and making sure he got the support he needed to process and come to terms with all their lies and actions. That's the bloody issue here.
They didn't care what he thought or how this affected him as long they could keep doing what they wanted and keep their marriage and relationship secure. You don't just blow up your kid's worldview (you created), attack their feelings, ignore his pleas for help, pretend everything is normal, and not have serious consequences in your relationship with said child. That's not how it works. Getting cut out of your child's life and getting ignored by them is how it usually works.
OP needs therapy, but he doesn't need his god-awful sperm and egg donors in his life as they gave that up when they decided they were more important than taking care of their son's trauma properly (and taking a break till he was more stable).
I'm wishing OP the best and I would encourage him to take his fiancé to couples counseling (or a therapy session or two with you) to explain why she should mind her business with your relationship with your “parents” and support you on this. I would also suggest posting this in r/estrangedadultchild or a similar subreddit dealing with similar subject matters as this one isn't very helpful with it.
Usually people have very little success unless the option of being a FWB is removed.
Let's be real here. He is getting all of the good parts of a relationship (sex, dates, attention, etc.) while putting forth no effort. For a relationship to work you need rules, boundaries, and you have to mutually meet each others expectations. And when you don't meet those expectations you fight. And fighting a normal part of a relationship because no one is perfect.
I'm willing to bet money he is going to say the same thing that most people say when asked to change the terms of a FWB into a relationship.
” I'm not dating anyone else and I don't think that we need a title to know how we feel about each other “.
I mean isn’t it easier to break up a regular relationship than an engaged relationship? So if you find out they’re not right after living together, it’s easier to end things before you’ve announced your engagement to the world…
I’m confused about how your rule stops you from marrying the wrong person.
But you do you! If this is your boundary, I totally respect that but you probably need to come to terms with the fact it might be a deal breaker for a lot of people, including some guys that are really fantastic ?♀️
Dude, keep using protection! Put your condoms in someplace safe in case she tampers with them! If she keeps blowing up at you over that, hell, I'd run! Better being broken up with no kids than with a kid
I'm sorry but you are absolutely being immature. He's realizing that you can't 100% say you'd get an abortion (ok, fine) but that he 100% doesn't want a kid right now (also fine) and since BC isn't 100% effective (very true) he'd rather double up with condoms too. Your reaction to this very mature and smart decision is to say “well if you're using condoms I'm going off BC” even though condoms also aren't 100% effective… Just because you suddenly worry he might be thinking about cheating? Grow up or stop having sex.
I wouldn’t date this woman. She’s not relationship material.
I wouldn’t date this woman. She’s not relationship material.
When people are looking for reasons to be upset they can usually find them. Unfortunately far too many guys will try to get flirty even with their platonic female friends. Your girlfriend seems to have mastered the art of deflecting that, as most woman have to. What to do comes down to an explanation of “cheated on again”. If this exact girlfriend cheated on you in the past maybe you're justified a wee bit of worry. But if you're dragging emotional baggage from a past relationship into this you need to step off before you ruin this.
Guy, plans change. Pregnancy is fucking very hot. Emotionally, physically, mentally. Everything you thought you knew is turned upside down. Your body isn't your own anymore. You have to share it with a tiny human and a full grown human who both demand 100% of you. Motherhood can make you feel trapped and alone. It's not something you even know will happen until it does, and it's absolutely her decision to add or not add more needy humams into her life. You can plan to be a mother your entire life and then when you actually go through it, it's not anything like you expected.
I love my children, but am apathetic towards other kids. My kids are 18 and 21. I willingly help others with kids that need help if they ask and if a kid is in need, I'll help, but I don't volunteer. It's perfectly normal to not worship motherhood or children.
When people are looking for reasons to be upset they can usually find them. Unfortunately far too many guys will try to get flirty even with their platonic female friends. Your girlfriend seems to have mastered the art of deflecting that, as most woman have to. What to do comes down to an explanation of “cheated on again”. If this exact girlfriend cheated on you in the past maybe you're justified a wee bit of worry. But if you're dragging emotional baggage from a past relationship into this you need to step off before you ruin this.
That is such a sweet idea. Even if he DIDN'T like it he should have faked it seeing how much effort you put in.
Let's not ignore the fact that you're afraid to bring up the fact that he was ruining your brand new sofa.
This is not a good realtionship for you, my dear.
He sounds very hot and cold. You probably don’t want to be with someone that inconsistent anyway.
It’s only been 4 months. I would walk away and find someone new. You don’t need to stay friends.
Wanna bet she didn't ask?
This needs addressing now, before it becomes an even bigger issue in the future.
If you want kids at some point, do not stay with this manchild. Trust me.
There is a kind of chain these Indian families have. For her parents, they want me to get approval from my parents. We've met Sometimes. We've had the conversation about us getting married before too, and I was the one who was sure about my parents.
Oh God ?
If you love this, feel sorry for your behavior, and want to save the relationship, be patient. It takes people time to process their emotions.
You break up.
Notice your BF stands for what he believes. He wouldn't accept his own behavior.
He also chose the EX and you avoiding it means your relationship will eventually end.
You can't avoid your way to happiness. Leave now or leave later but what a waste of time.
So, you started this story by making excuses for him.
Then you continued by stating youve been in an abusive relationship before.
You are 23 years old! and now in 2 abusive relationships.
Get some counseling, work on yourself, and stay out of relationships until you get the help you need.
Go back home!
This is actually a perfect way to do it.
When I was a teenager my parents had a similar problem, which would result in my Dad's brain being chewed out way too much. I was learning Photoshop, so I made a mock 3D image of the room in question and would make mockups for my Mom, so that she could get a rough idea of how it would look while leaving my Dad alone.
I'm pretty sure there are only solutions for that, in actual 3D, that should be user-friendly. It might make sense to look into that. Or hire furniture movers every time, because it's ridiculous to be lifting heavy stuff at 48 because of someone's random curiosity.
Run. He’s showing you massive red flags, go now
I absolutely agree with you on every single point. There is a good reason why many companies don’t allow office romance at all, and why the ones that do often require that you report it and/or work in different departments. This is WAY too much to bring into a workplace relationship of any kind, especially romance.
By all means, break up with your bf and reward your brother’s bad behavior. Your bf deserves better and that will free him up to find it.
Can't somebody just give itsjustmo a reward for that comment, please?
Honestly, you should unpack this in therapy. You should also ditch your boyfriend, block him on everything and start moving on. Don’t jump on your friend – take time for yourself for a bit. Work with your therapist on your self esteem and feeling unlovable.
Your boyfriend doesn’t deserve more chances, because he is trying to be better. You don’t owe him a relationship, because he hasn’t cheated again. This is a gift you can give him, but not something he has any right to.
Can it happen again, with someone else? Of course it can. Cheating happens. However, it absolutely doesn’t have to. Also, if it does…the person is clearly not worth it and needs to be ditched – because YOU deserve better.
Pretty much every guy my age has been with more girls than me. But I don't care. Because the past is the past. And they wouldn't be with me if they didn't want to be. She obviously thinks you're a great person if she's spent a couple of months with you. This is an insecurity on your part — she doesn't see you like this. This is in YOUR head.
And therapy isn't for weak people. It's for people to face their challenges in life. And it's worth the time and work you put into it. I'd recommend it to anybody. Especially somebody who's facing the absurd insecurities that you are.
??♀️
So since she sexually assaulted someone, she must've been sexually assaulted first?
Maybe try sticking to what's in the post rather than coming up with your own story to justify her actions.
She said no in other comments
A part of me will always wonder, maybe there could be something if I tried very hot enough…but then after that last encounter, I feel within my gut that there absolutely is not. Fundamentally, there is no trust, and I am terrified she is going to ruthlessly cut me off again. I am sick of having to mourn the loss of idealised futures I create with people in my head.
You've let this go on for pretty much a year now. If I were him, when I found out I'd dump you.
He did, she threatened to leave for another state pre-delivery just to make it harder for him to obtain a reasonable shared custody.
She has all the right to consider this a breach of trust and dump his insecure ass
So what's the issue now? You set a boundary and he followed it.
Why can't he be friends with someone he complimented before?
You need to have a frank discussion about financial planning. She is behaving like you are a money pit.. Perhaps she's not the woman you should marry.
You definitely don't have the same Outlook on life or the same priorities. It's one thing being financially irresponsible with your own money, but she is activity trying to be irresponsible with yours too.
n
I understand a little better now
Obviously a therapist of some kind (or support for surviving sexual assault) is best positioned to give advice about your reaction and being brought back to trauma. But the thing I, a layman would say, is that I used to be really uncomfortable with blowjobs because they seemed really aggressive and kind of scary to me. One thing that helped in being intimate in that way (with my trusted partner) is that you don’t have to put someone’s whole penis in your mouth. If it’s something you still want to do, try just kissing and using your mouth to touch instead of just straight up giving head. It might give the same intimate feeling without the trigger. He can also be careful to keep hands away from your head/face, which might also help.
Just floating ideas!
I think your need to test him in the first place says you were not ready for a serous relationship.
If he has said no the the test, but found out it was you later?
Not a great way to grow a healthy relationship
Move on.
Frankly, I would set a boundary pack his bag and tell him not to come back until he’s decided that he wants to be married.
…And wait for him?
Girl he made his vows years ago. The time to decide was then and he failed. He belongs to the streets.
Don’t call him back. He treated you horribly and is now acting entitled to your time. Simply send a text that you felt disrespected by his behavior last year and you’re not interested in being friends or anything more
It’s about a boyfriend that stalks his own girlfriend, and eventually kills her in a jealous rage / because she doesn’t want him to ‘keep her safe’
Do you have any more self respect to lose? Like dude leave him. You’re literally 21. Afraid you won’t love someone the same? How can you even love him?