One thought on “Yulya the very hot on-line sex chat with hottest babes with a hd cam”
I understand where you’re coming from. You asked the question early on to figure out where you stood and you thought you knew the truth. Then you found out you didn’t. Even if you know deep down that your partner had no mal intentions, it still feels unnerving.
I had a somewhat similar thing with my current partner. He has an extensive friendship group that he’s known since high school (and earlier for some) and early in the relationship I had asked if he had done anything with any of the girls in the group. At the time he said no. I later found out from somebody else that he had made out with a couple of the girls at parties a number of years back. At the time that discovery felt pretty disturbing because from where I stood it seemed like he had lied to me. Furthermore, I had to find out from someone else, which made me feel embarrassed and reinforced this pre-existing sense I had of being on the outside of the group. As it turns out, he interpreted my question as meaning had he dated or had sex with anyone in the group, which he hadn’t, whereas I interpreted my question more broadly. I think what helped me to move through this experience was firstly that my partner was incredibly understanding when I brought it up from him. Whilst he explained why he hadn’t said anything, he also completely acknowledged why it would seem suss from my perspective and why it would hurt to find out the way I did. It also helped that I had seen enough of his interactions with these women to know there was no residual sexual tension. But it still really sucked and if I’m honest, thinking about it now still sucks a little bit. Whilst we can generally accept it, most people don’t like to think too much about our partner’s romantic / sexual history, and it’s a lot harder to avoid those thoughts when some of that past is still hanging around. You’re not a bad person for struggling with that.
You need to learn how to make space for the emotions without buying into the story that your partner was deliberately deceiving you or that he’s going to cheat on you with her. It’s totally fine to feel upset, sad, even angry that you found out this way, but you don’t have to keep fuelling the emotions with rumination. For example: “It’s okay to feel hurt by this AND it doesn’t mean that my fiancé is untrustworthy”. Telling yourself to just get over it or that it shouldn’t bother you won’t be helpful, because you can’t choose how to feel about it, and criticising the feelings is more likely to make you dig your heels in and reinforce them than it is to change them. I also wouldn’t recommend cutting Elle off over this. Take the fact that he offered to do that as a sign of trustworthiness and good will, but do not take him up on it. It’s likely to lead to resentment down the road and whilst it may feel awkward right now, if you give it some time it will get better. Happy to chat further if you want x
I understand where you’re coming from. You asked the question early on to figure out where you stood and you thought you knew the truth. Then you found out you didn’t. Even if you know deep down that your partner had no mal intentions, it still feels unnerving.
I had a somewhat similar thing with my current partner. He has an extensive friendship group that he’s known since high school (and earlier for some) and early in the relationship I had asked if he had done anything with any of the girls in the group. At the time he said no. I later found out from somebody else that he had made out with a couple of the girls at parties a number of years back. At the time that discovery felt pretty disturbing because from where I stood it seemed like he had lied to me. Furthermore, I had to find out from someone else, which made me feel embarrassed and reinforced this pre-existing sense I had of being on the outside of the group. As it turns out, he interpreted my question as meaning had he dated or had sex with anyone in the group, which he hadn’t, whereas I interpreted my question more broadly. I think what helped me to move through this experience was firstly that my partner was incredibly understanding when I brought it up from him. Whilst he explained why he hadn’t said anything, he also completely acknowledged why it would seem suss from my perspective and why it would hurt to find out the way I did. It also helped that I had seen enough of his interactions with these women to know there was no residual sexual tension. But it still really sucked and if I’m honest, thinking about it now still sucks a little bit. Whilst we can generally accept it, most people don’t like to think too much about our partner’s romantic / sexual history, and it’s a lot harder to avoid those thoughts when some of that past is still hanging around. You’re not a bad person for struggling with that.
You need to learn how to make space for the emotions without buying into the story that your partner was deliberately deceiving you or that he’s going to cheat on you with her. It’s totally fine to feel upset, sad, even angry that you found out this way, but you don’t have to keep fuelling the emotions with rumination. For example: “It’s okay to feel hurt by this AND it doesn’t mean that my fiancé is untrustworthy”. Telling yourself to just get over it or that it shouldn’t bother you won’t be helpful, because you can’t choose how to feel about it, and criticising the feelings is more likely to make you dig your heels in and reinforce them than it is to change them. I also wouldn’t recommend cutting Elle off over this. Take the fact that he offered to do that as a sign of trustworthiness and good will, but do not take him up on it. It’s likely to lead to resentment down the road and whilst it may feel awkward right now, if you give it some time it will get better. Happy to chat further if you want x