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let’s have a party.
Date: October 13, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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Alright, OP. Time for some tough love:
1) Break up with your fiancee. She sounds selfish and horrible, the furthest thing from a good partner. She doesn't make you happy now. I can guarantee she won't make you happy after a wedding. Rip it off like a bandaid and then completely block her from your life.
2) End things with A and DO NOT PURSUE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER. She doesn't have any self respect whatsoever to keep wasting her time with shitty men; furthermore she asked you to wait for her while she pursued a relationship with a trash person. Repeat after me: THIS IS NOT NORMAL.
Dump both these women and ask yourself why your standards for a partner are so disgustingly low. Do you not have any pride? Any dignity? Do you not love yourself even a little? Get therapy and learn to be single in a healthy way first. You are not ready for any relationship right now. You certainly choose absolute losers as far as women go. You need to fix this problem first and aim way higher in terms of finding a quality partner.
Don't post this here
Thank you for the advice. And yes the lip service about being with a sex worker is exploitative but then he is happy to go in there and watch and take happy snaps of them with his friend. It’s utterly disgusting on his behalf and an invasion of privacy for the women
First, get the paternity test. If she's right and the baby is yours, you'll have grounds to take her to court for custody if you want.
Don't leave her alone!!! Pregnancy hormones are horrible, and you should be more patient even if it's naked because now you should think at her and your child. She's carrying your child and she needs you now. Don't leave her alone. Make sure to give her space and still to make her lnow you're gonna be there for her in any time
Some apps come with the phone or tablet…but not sure about tinder. It's probably very innocent. I would ask her.
Did you notice how he talked about how touchy he is as a person? With everybody male and female. He didn’t set any boundaries.
I don’t even know how to accept that some people are just lost causes; I don’t want to accept that. I want to believe everyone is capable of being talked down from the proverbial ledge; that anyone can be de-bigoted if they choose to be. I don’t want to give up on anyone.
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Nah, super sketchy and thats fucked up if she really wanted to be together with you to have done that the day prior. That just tells me that she did it then decided to pull a 180 to try and get you back.
Cut your losses and move on
“Told everyone “ I just told my friends, If Jake told his friends something about me, I wouldn’t care or even know. I would never see them in my life
Your friend is a bad person.
You both are young and have time to find more suitable partners; probably best to let her go and find a partner who loves you for you and not what you can do. If your current girlfriend is comparing your relationship with other's that's not a good sign for the future.
The age gap between a 23 yesr old and 35 year old comes off a bit dicey and there could be a power aspect to it or grooming depending on the age they got together. I don't know any 35 year olds who have interest in anyone who's 23 or younger? Off of the people I know they consider anyone under 25 a kid and are creeped out but, those are off people ik. Age gaps can work when there's mutual respect, maturity and no power plays. So I hope this doesn't offend anyone I'm sorry if it does.
If you guys have had communication issues for a whole year before even being an actual couple then you two are just simply not compatible.
i wouldn't be mad, i'd just dump him because we seem incompatible
That was his way at telling her “don’t say anything incriminating”…dump him.
Wtf ..? That'd piss me off even more. What kind of weird power move is that.
Yup. My ex is on court ordered support because our daughter had medicaid when she was born. He had to pay child support and medical support until he started to provide insurance for her. Now it's just child support that is ordered but he's not paying of course.
I panicked and wasn’t thinking that far ahead. Yes, I realise how utterly dumb I was/still am
Shit, after 3 years my fiancés doesn’t make those jokes to family. I don’t want him making those jokes after 10 years lol. I’d die of embarrassment!
You’re mom was complicit. She’s a piece of shit too.
Well, sounds like your wife is setting herself up to get sued.
You are 31 years old, and after 6 years of dealing with PTSD, your husband is only getting worse, not better. You have your whole life ahead of you, stop wasting it on this man.
So first, stop doing things for him. Don't do his laundry, don't buy snacks he likes, don't cook or prepare food for when you won't be home. Any cleaning or chore that impacts only him, leave alone, and that includes if he leaves dishes by HIS stuff, leave them there to rot.
Second, tell him to get a job. Stop giving him any money. Yes, still cover the rent and utilities, but do not give him a dime of “fun” money. That means no take out, he can eat what is at home.
These seem harsh, but he has said to you he NEEDs to be told what to do because it is so confusing, well when he has no clean clothes, he will know it is time to do laundry. When he doesn't have money for takeout, he will know it is time to cook.
More importantly, do you want to be in this marriage? You sound awesome! You've got a great job, an active social life, and a good head on your shoulders. Why would you want to go through life with an adult man strapped to you that you must pay for and clean up after? Do you really realize how much better your life could be alone? You would come home to a clean apartment with everything where you left it, you wouldn't dread going out and having fun, and you would save a lot of money not supporting someone who isn't doing anything to support you-emotionally or financially.
Got here after your update and I have to say you are doing the right thing. You understand why your husband may be questioning and wanted to eliminate any doubt. You didn't jump to divorce as the option over this, which shows you're trying to empathize. This is above and beyond what many people do in marriages nowadays. It seems like many people choose divorce when things get tough.
As for your husband, sit him down and talk this out. Say something like, “I get that you're making jokes, but the jokes hurt because they make it seem like you doubt (son's name) is yours. That's why I got the DNA test kit. I want you to have the same security I have in knowing he is yours. Since we have it on hand, I say we complete it. If you still want to joke after we get the results, I can handle that since I know you will know he is your son.”
At least, that's what I would say if I were in your situation. Good luck with this and I hope you two can resolve it.
It's 10pm in South China. Valentines day is done for people in East Asia already.
Question – have you ever gone on a fishing trip the two of you planned?
I can understand but wanting to have you join guy time, it might not even be about you. They may have a girl in the group that always wants to come, they may use the time to talk about really personal things. Or they may just be sexist idiots.
However, if your bf knows you like fishing and won't even go just the two of you on your own trip then he has a problem with women doing “guy stuff” and he doesn't sound that great.
Sounds like she's lying and this early in would be a deal breaker for me. There's no need to track ovulation cycles if they're on BC.
Sounds like good advice. Let’s say she calls me or messages me demanding answers, do I ignore her? Or if my fiancés family and friends bring her up in conversation, do I just say it was my fiancés decision?
thank you for this. i truly appreciate it for validating my feelings. he isn’t using again. his job that he had requires him to take a drug test every two weeks. the thing he he even got paid the day of Valentine’s so i really don’t know why he did what he did. i do think i am staying in this based off of his potential and not what I’m seeing right now so i do think I need to think about walking away for myself
Don’t hide your kid man. Yes it will be harder to find than if you didn’t but that’s just how it is.
Just do it bro. Just say it isn’t for you anymore and goodbye.
If you are no longer attracted to him, thats fine & normal too. But just do him a favour & let him go
I’m so confused. I get it, the man is scary and you should be doing everything in your power to stay safe but like….. I’m really not understanding what’s so naked about just leaving him especially if you’re not attached to him with kids, he doesn’t know where you live…. I seriously don’t get what’s making you respond to him or “stay in the relationship???
He’s right
Not just toxic, but totally blind to the situation. Wow.
I've found the only way my girlfriend commits to cleaning/tidying anything is when I inform her someone is coming over. We will both then spend a good few hours cleaning.
Other than that, I'm in the same boat to be honest.
He needs to know you know, and why it's wrong, but tread carefully when contemplating telling his wife. There is an old saying “never save your own soul at the expense of another”
I don’t think you on-line in reality buddy, much less healthy relationships
This is something where a second opinion or a consultation with a pelvic floor therapist could be warranted. i know personally I've been cleared for gynecological issues by two different doctors, only to be diagnosed by other professionals.
He will escalate. Get out now
I'm sorry, in what way was this a consensual sexual encounter? Deeply concerning that you think her saying she didn't think she could have penetrative sex somehow counts as consent for him to then have unprotected penetrative sex with her and cum inside her? I certainly hope you're not sexually active as I would be very concerned for any partner you might have. You clearly don't understand consent at all.
He's 100% insecure. Insecurity can bring out the worst in people.
Is this subreddit all 19 year olds with no life experience?
Hmm he definitely won’t be fired, if anything the boss will ask me what I want to do about it
He sounds very emotionally abusive and manipulative. While you may not realize it now, you just dodged a MASSIVE bullet. Time to start the healing process and move forward! You’re SO YOUNG! I didn’t get engaged until a few weeks before I turned 27.
It sounds fake to me. Every person commenting has been struck down with “but bf said it's only temporary” well… clearly it isn't. People suck. Richer older siblings suck. They want the benefit of having their mother taken care of WITHOUT having to drop a single dime on the endeavor.
If I were OP I'd give a date to move out. If bf's mom isn't out by then, she can move wherever she likes… ON HER OWN.
People like OP are the same people that end up in their 40's with 20 different family members living with them and mooching off of them while they shrug their shoulders and are told “don't worry, it's just temporary!” (hint: it isn't. People – regardless of how close they are to you – will almost always jump at the chance to take advantage of someone else).