It reminds me a lot of my ex, he lovebombed me from day one, we got engaged really quickly but were already having fights, pushed that under the table to get married after 2 years together. Fights got worse, manipulation and controlling got worse, him blaming me for everything, needing to know where I was at all times, guilt tripping, threats to leave, threats of self harm and suicide, actual self harm. I'm very wary of people now, especially when they're really keen really fast, I'm suspicious they're trying to lock you down before you figure out who they are and it's too late to leave.
Trying rush huge life events just so your kids can meet their great grandparents isn't fair to those kids you may have. You're 20, your girlfriend's 21, not nearly wisened enough to be having babies and making permanent life plans. It's one thing to recognize that in the longterm you and she don't have the same life goals or priorities. But it's another to think you're going to fast track baby making just to meet some (premature) deadline you've put into your own path. Because even after those great parents are gone you'll still have kids who need everything and if you don't have a thriving career and a fully supportive parter (who's bound to you legally via marriage or domestic partnership contract) you're left in a very vulnerable situation. Don't do that to your future kids. So date this person if you want to but don't do anything that'll make the inevitable breakup more complicated.
OP, you broke up originally because he was a jerk.
You haven’t even reintegrated him into your life, and already he’s being a jerk.
Don’t waste another moment with this guy.
It reminds me a lot of my ex, he lovebombed me from day one, we got engaged really quickly but were already having fights, pushed that under the table to get married after 2 years together. Fights got worse, manipulation and controlling got worse, him blaming me for everything, needing to know where I was at all times, guilt tripping, threats to leave, threats of self harm and suicide, actual self harm. I'm very wary of people now, especially when they're really keen really fast, I'm suspicious they're trying to lock you down before you figure out who they are and it's too late to leave.
Trying rush huge life events just so your kids can meet their great grandparents isn't fair to those kids you may have. You're 20, your girlfriend's 21, not nearly wisened enough to be having babies and making permanent life plans. It's one thing to recognize that in the longterm you and she don't have the same life goals or priorities. But it's another to think you're going to fast track baby making just to meet some (premature) deadline you've put into your own path. Because even after those great parents are gone you'll still have kids who need everything and if you don't have a thriving career and a fully supportive parter (who's bound to you legally via marriage or domestic partnership contract) you're left in a very vulnerable situation. Don't do that to your future kids. So date this person if you want to but don't do anything that'll make the inevitable breakup more complicated.
My question too. Not working will destroy your social security benefits not to mention being in your 30’s with literally no job history