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♥ Marí Alba ♥, 21 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms ♥ Marí Alba ♥
Date: October 17, 2022
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Half your age plus 7
When you know what you want , don't settle for anything less. It hurts , but forgive yourself and let it and him go. So you made a mistake, you're only human. it happens.
Ok so make that trash your exgf
Change your locks, pack up her stuff and file for divorce.
You've tried, it's not working. Get your ducks lined up in a row (make sure you've got separate bank accounts, utilities etc).
Your husband unloaded in her for sure fr fr no cap
DON'T. This is such a bad idea for you. Please don't do this to yourself.
You should discuss it. If it's a goal, fine. You can discuss plans. If there's a deadline, and it seems unrealistic to you, you should let her know.
She lied and gaslit him. Who else is to “blame”. He brought it up again the next day and she dug her heels in. That’s the problem and he needs to call her out on it.
Jealousy is a very difficult instinct to overcome, especially for those who are young and haven't had the time or experience to develop significant emotional maturity. I guarantee opening the relationship up even once will cause problems.
hey! just wanted to say i’ve been in a similar situation with my bf (maybe a bit worse) as i also dont agree with him having girl friends( i think after puberty a girl and a boy can never be just friends). My advice is that if he really insists on talking to them and not dropping them you should leave him asap as he will never change…
Any odds he had a kid when he was 14?
Don’t try to act like the sexual orientation/preference doesn’t matter. The boundaries are certainly different.
Ok, let’s use this logic then. I’m bisexual. Does this mean any intimate friendship I have with anyone, wherein I may ask them things I don’t ask my spouse (prob cause we online together and I know if they’ve eaten), is emotional cheating and/or not ok?
No, it’s not common sense. Not everyone feels the same way you feel in their relationship. If you didn’t tell her not to do it, it’s incredibly unfair for you expect her to assume not to do it. That sounds incredibly narcissistic of you.
You forgot to mention he kicks and hits you??? What the shit???
The number of women arguing that because they worked until right before the baby was born she should do the same is just tragic.
I'm down
This isn't about games, it's about life choices. You made yours and now you're upset at the consequences. Sorry, but life doesn't owe you more chances. You are given grace by those who see the imperfect you, and still choose to embrace the good parts. If you're not given grace then there weren't enough good parts or the person wanted more.
As for fixing it, you know how to take accountability and how to try to shift accountability. I think for most people, if the person takes accountability and recognizes that the path to redemption is to show you can be trusted rather than just speaking it, those people tend to get second chances. But that takes effort and purpose and determination, and it does so because you genuinely want to be better and prove you are better.
If it cost your mental health, its too expensive. Go look somewhere else
How does she act childish exactly?
If your bro and his family is disrespecting her, he's disrespecting you. Do you really want to side with people who think they are above others and speak poorly of them for no good reason?
I play to my strengths girls think I’m funny I play it up and get them laughing. It works. If girls didn’t love it they wouldn’t be going out with me simple as that. A lot of people take flirting too seriously saying don’t do this don’t do that it will come off as creepy or cringe. Nothing is creepy or cringe if they like you and you don’t make a big deal (within reason). The winking thing is cringe don’t get me wrong but I play into it and if you do it isn’t anymore. If you know the vibes and keep everything light hearted and they have that initial attraction to you you’ll get the girl or guy 90% of the time.
I think it depends. My partner and I do gifts, but not all couples do! I would ask, even if it’s kinda awkward.
“Hey just gotta know…we doing gifts for our anniversary? It’s fine either way I just want to know.”
The more important question here is, if you know a relationship with her would be problematic…… Why say anything????
Not racist, just a bitch.
OP remarked on someone else's comment and said that.
I totally see your point. The thing is we talked about it on our first or second date and he said he would do it in college and agreed it is too much to always be high so I’m just confused if he’s always been lying or if it’s new. I’ll talk to him though to find out more, just not sure how to even bring it up I guess
INFO: Why do you think you shouldn’t tell him?
No.
And, probably saved yourself waking up with he house.on fire and your dick super glued to the bed post one day.
Just saying
Omg how tactless of him. The fact that he’s still friends with her and describes her in that way to you is a red flag. He crossed a boundary and of course you’d be upset and hurt. He has given you a back handed compliment. Offensive but also trying to say something nice to make up for it but he shot himself in the foot because he revealed that objectively he finds her more physically attractive. That is majorly insulting and he doesn’t deserve a response from you until you’re ready. When you’re ready to tell him how he has made you feel, he needs to reassure you and apologise but the problem is he can’t take back what he said. I think what he said was nasty and tactless because even if he was thinking that he didn’t have to say it.
Literally nothing, she's oversensitive.
Graham !!
You need to learn how to communicate. Are you his entire social support system? Does he literally never leave the house to socialize? That can’t be healthy making you responsible for that part of his life IMHO…
You’re getting married but you haven’t been able to ask him to go for a walk a couple evenings per week so you can recharge
Why doesn’t he drive? Are you also responsible for chauffeuring him around on your days off?
Ah yes, the ole “you’re a kid” talk. I’ve heard this one before! Tbh it’s my fault for not reiterating that this was suppose to be a light hearted thread. See what I did there! I just want to see people’s reactions and comments about it.
You pushed for the truth. Got it. Didn't like his answer and you impulsively reacted.
And to clarify from a guys perspective….somebodys dating history can in fact be a turn off. There's an old saying, ” if you hang out (or date) losers, you are in fact also a loser.”
You probably have changed since then but that memory is stuck in his head.
Wife and I were making out with the first hour of meeting each other and I stayed the night at her place.
You don't speak for all women any more than I do, or for all men.
You’re not grooming him you’re just so utterly incompatible that I’m surprised you can’t see it.
Five shots of vodka as a pre game? Yeah, think you got too drunk and experienced an anxiety attack. Five shots of vodka would have me power puking. I don’t understand how that would ever be a pregame for anyone.
Seek help, stop drinking and build trust again with your partner.
I hope he finds someone that values him for his character rather than his wallet.. and I hope you find a man that makes more than you and dumps you the same way you're doing now.. gold diggers man, piss me off
A friend of mine had 2 kids before 25 and then came home from daycare one day and found him making out with a 20 year old on their sofa.
It's been 4 years for her now, but we caught up recently and she's convinced it was the best thing he could ever have done for her. By her account he refused to help out with the house or kids, and would drive to sleep at his buddies' houses several hours away on the weekends leaving her by herself. She said she was basically a single mother for a year or two before they broke up lol. Now she finished nursing school and when I caught up with her last she told me that while times were though she at least knew that she had already had the kids she wanted and they'll be grown basically when she is leaving her 30's so she has a whole life ahead of her to enjoy, and more time to get to know her kids over her lifetime.
So while it probably sounds weak coming from a stranger, I'm just writing to let you know that you have your whole life ahead of you. Best of luck.
Your boyfriend needs to deal with his parents. If he isn't willing to do so, then you know where you stand with him.
To the contrary I was pointing out she’s still pretty youthful. I don’t really agree with the others that think it’s dementia or something age related.
Hope she reads your post!!!!
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” He said those are the states with 0 income tax so that's where he wants to be and I shouldn't let my personal feelings get in the way.”
Should have left him in that precise moment.
I told him I wouldn't want to online in a state where abortion is outlawed because I don't support those states. He said those are the states with 0 income tax so that's where he wants to be and I shouldn't let my personal feelings get in the way.
His income tax is more important than your health and physical safety? Dump the guy and don't look back.
Tell her even a 747 seems small when flying through the Grand Canyon.
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Do you want your daughter to grow up and look at your relationship as an example, especially if you’re only staying for her? Give her examples of a real loving relationship, she deserves that
Yeah that was my thought. They can’t get in if you don’t open the door? Like literally don’t open the door & tell them to fuck off or just call the cops
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Thanks for contributing so much to the conversation.
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He's asked for space to deal with his depression. Please give him that space, and let him reach out to you when he is ready.
He can’t take time to come to you? Why is it your responsibility to come to him?
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Lizzie and your bf have broken moral compasses, follow your instinct.
Yeah I turned out to be allergic to the sour mash ones. The chemical capsate is apparently produced during the process and it's very close to capsaicin, which I had already known I couldn't have. Though the capsaicin actually makes me swell up and stop breathing, so it could have been way worse! But by the time that was figured out if already quit drinking the stuff anyway so it didn't actually change anything for me.
“YOU'RE A TOWEL!” That's what you sound like.
I’m just wondering how I should have navigated this type of request
You tell her, straight up, that you're not going to do her list idea.
A checklist is one thing. Writing down when you're going to drink water? Unhinged and psychotic.
His comments are full of “wanna be my girlfriend”, “I'd love to go where you are”, “OF?”, and various hitting on women.
She wanted a relationship but not with you…find someone that feels the same way about you as you do for her
What does his sob story have to do w him cheating lmao
You’re literally unwell. Look at yourself. You’ve posted and deleted numerous threads about this same topic today alone. You argue against everyone who highlights this behavior for what it is. You are kicking and screaming on the internet about how you miss your friend, boo-hoo, while completely downplaying the severity of your actions. You’re an alcoholic who went on a months-long pattern of reckless drinking who then jumped right back on that bandwagon in December, who then proceeded to overdrink and send a bunch of shitty messages while blackout drink, who now refuses to take any accountability for her actions and, instead, tries to force the narrative that she was drugged despite there being no evidence to support that narrative.
You’re an alcoholic and you’re in crisis and you need to get off of Reddit. You’re embarrassing yourself both in-person and online because you are unable to accept the truth of your actions. You need addiction counseling and therapy and until you accept that fact you’re going to continue to “go through it”.
Good luck to you. I am not going to spend the remainder of my evening arguing with an alcoholic in denial.
Reddit tends to be very black and white when it comes to cheating, it's the worst thing in the world and OP deserves downvotes for support the cheater, in reality, she's just trying to have a relationship with both of her parents because she's the innocent party here.
I think you know what you need to do. This chick, though unrequited, is in serious lust/ or love with this guy. No matter that he isn't into her the same way, you deserve better. Best of luck!
He did because he had been in love before
She didn't randomly blurt it out, he said his then asked for hers
Fantasies are just that, doesn't mean you'll act on them (there are r*pe fantasy subs on here ffs)
Not everyone pays enough attention to famous people to have ones they'd want to fuck.
He's full of shit.
Hell, I'm not even saying he doesn't love the thought of you. You can totally love having someone to fall back on when you're done cheating, and partying and eating meat.
But he doesn't respect you, honour you, choose you, prefer you, want only you, or love YOU.
Forget his bullshit. Kick him to the kerb.
Therapy. Therapy Therapy Therapy.
Shit people will drag everyone else around them down so they can step on them to prop themselves up. Im sorry that the first person you fancied turned out to be a shit person, but in no way should his inability to act like a decent fucking person reflect poorly on you.
But it happened, and now you’re broken down a little, and the best way to rebuild from here is with a professional that will help you a) undo the damage he’s done and b) unpack whatever may or may not be going on with your sexuality.
Id also HIGHLY recommend you cut out the following and tabs youre keeping. I dunno how small the community is there that you bump into him, but you shouldnt be gushing for a guy who thought you treated you so horribly. Block him from your social footprint bc thats just gonna keep you in his shit.
Im sorry it happened, but he isnt worth the space hes taken up in your brain. I hope you look toward doing the work to feel better.
Edit: age gap aside, what is your perspective? How would you go about this?
Fuck off, you knew what you were going to read because you have been hearing about how much of a creep and groomer your boyfriend is for almost 8 years now. You knew we were going to point out that disgusting shit. Either don't ask for advice if you will not hear anything other than what you want to hear or don't even mention ages.
And a new dad.
It is naked, I totally sympathize. My mom and I have a…complicated relationship, but it’s similar to yours in that I keep wanting a closeness that she just…can’t give. I actively remind myself to keep her at arms length. Not to be rude or cruel or vengeful, but literally because I need to be careful to only put in as much as she puts in. No more, no less. I let her drive, essentially. When I pour in too much, we have conflict, I hurt a lot, etc. it’s very hot, but it is working.
I will say, part of it is putting in as much as she is, which for you guys might mean trying to visit her in her turf.
But for me the key is to match her energy. It helps quell the disappointment and prevent resentment from cropping up. And to fill that validation/feeling seem bucket elsewhere. She’s a good mom in her own way, just not always the mom I wish I had. And that’s okay. I value our relationship for what it is, but I’m careful to maintain those emotional boundaries to protect myself.
I wouldn’t think someone guilty of cheating would show you the earring, especially if he knows you have trust issues.
Also, curious in 7 months of living together you haven’t had any female friends over?
Yeah I agree.
Add the mentality of “women aren't attracted to me” into the mix,
This is definitely me. I also tend to question the judgment of the few women who do show interest.
Due to kid being in school in a different county I’m not giving up my home and having her switch in the middle/end of her term. Once school is finished is when we planned on moving in.
You can’t really know her intentions, but she did suggest an equitable opportunity.
A lot of people are in the lifestyle because they felt like they missed out pre-marriage. Not quite, but almost the #1 reason people start in the lifestyle.
And jealousy can be for other things. Not just sex. Emotional affairs are a whole other matter. Someone can be in the lifestyle but an emotional affair would still be cheating and would cause massive jealousy.
glad to hear you are free ??????
At 22 and 9 months in you don’t go to counseling. Not even once. You break up. Period.
RUN!
I’m with you
Don’t waste energy on him. If is a true friend he will be there if you need him.
She is not making you feel guilty. You are choosing to feel guilty. Because you have no personal boundaries.
Do you want to do this? No? Then DECIDE you are not doing it. And tell her. It’s not happening.
Tell her what you ARE willing to do. What her options are. One of the options is breaking up. You decide what the other options are. And tell her to choose.
I am always surprised how things like facial hair can completely derail a relationship. But it’s one of those aesthetics. It’s like any other fashion or personal style issue. In the end, if she finds you unattractive or physically is repulsed, she will leave.
Thank you. I ended up making myself a cake and picked out s small bouquet of flowers for myself yesterday
Depends..generally men can impregnate women until in their 80's.
I guess I don't feel like I have amazing advice but I was definitely in your shoes. But the more you can communicate to him what's going on, the better. If on one of your good days you can tell him you struggle with this, then start trying to catch yourself acting on it. And try to be the first to apologize when you've done something to push him away. Just try and catch yourself doing it as much as possible and force yourself into the uncomfortable position of apologizing for it.
A good partner will be understanding of the trauma you've been through. So they should be able to take it when you push them away. It still can hurt though even when they know it isn't their fault, which is why it's important to keep communicating and apologizing.
Seriously, there is no such thing as over communication. It helps SO much.
Leave. Now. It will only get worse
Do research on pornhub ??♂️
Sensing love. BPD is extremely difficult to deal with, and I think letting this situation fester in your mind will agitate it. A calm direct conversation is necessary, and I absolutely love to hear you're on a path to get help! I'm super super proud of you
Idk where OP is, but in Canada, the legal definition of assault includes any unconsented to physical contact. So assault is technically the right term, as OP said she was woken up by her boyfriend putting her hand on his dick. And you cannot consent while unconscious.
It’s possible he did it in his sleep, which is unintentional/not malicious. If it were me, this wouldn’t bother me either. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that it happened regardless, and OP can feel whatever type of way she feels about it. If he smacked her in the face while he was asleep, would it make any difference?
Not a man, but this utterly reeks of a guy who's in a relationship but likes to flirt on the side. It's not you, it's that he's reliving his youth by proving to himself that someone like you could still be attracted to him. It's all just to convince himself he's “still got it”. Meanwhile he goes home to a partner his own age that he's bored with (but can't bring himself to actually cheat on).
Lol so you're really just being insufferable for the sake of it
He wants to break up. Move on and sever all ties. He has turned the table on you. He is the one who is cheating but he has you believing you did something wrong and now the focus is on your being disloyal and not his dishonesty. Trust me, he will come crawling back but hopefully, you will have moved on.
He isn’t close to his parents. We were on a break for a week months ago because I found out he was using grindr after an argument we had (argument was over me hanging out with friends) He told me he already had the profile up from before being with me and after arguing he just decided to get back on. Basically said it was my fault for getting him to that point. I guess this is where my trust issues are stemming from. He’s treated me wonderfully other than that. I’ve believed him that he’s stopped and not gone on it again. But this is the first time he’s ignored me all afternoon. No call backs texts or anything. Last conversation we had was a typical one as well. He also doesn’t have friends like that right now he told me he has not wanted to hang w them
Because it's easy online to take a very hot line about cutting everyone out of your life who messes up, and the more smugly people put ut the more upvoted they get
This ⬆️ something doesn’t feel right because if this was a healthy relationship you wouldn’t worry that he’d stop using condoms
He lied to me about being back on tinder when we were going to call it off. We’ve been kind of off and on. I knew he was back on tinder because I checked and he flat out lied to my face. He finally ended up admitting it.
I think he’s still leaving the door open to her too but he says he’s not. I know her cheating on him had to of hurt but I don’t think he’s over her. I think they officially broke up about a year ago at this point, but they were still hooking up until I think July 2022 ish. He wouldn’t have even responded to her text if he was over her, right?
Your fiance spent decades abusing her sisters, hasn't apologized, and is now claiming their trauma as her own.
Why are you still engaged to her again?
Ewww, it’s been SIX MONTHS since he washed these “cozy pants”. Honestly, that would bother me more than the condom wrapper. I am envisioning a pile of sniff and wear clothes on the floor that just gets bigger.
Ask him to check in with you regularly. This will help you knowing that he is thinking of you. Other than that, you really have to trust your bf. Not liking it is normal. And so are your feelings of discomfort. But you know you can't forbid him seeing an ex. You trust him, so relax on that front.
If you’re not talking about going to the courthouse and signing the documents to be legally married, then you’re not asking to get married, you’re asking to waste tens of thousands of dollars on a party
Your boyfriend has clearly agreed to be lifelong partners out of wedlock. What wound are you referring to besides your wounded ego?
Well prepared picnic
Nice dinner at a restaurant she loves or wants to go
Short trip to a nice hotel
Spa treatments for you both
I don’t wear my ring while traveling because I was robbed at gun point on a vacation once. There could be a very innocent explanation here. Maybe she felt comfortable wearing it at first and then decided it was no longer safe to wear.
What's her number?
You put Kylie in a bad position by asking her to keep secrets. Plenty of only children know how to communicate, if he doesn’t know then it’s his responsibility as an adult to learn. Also, you’re still lying to & manipulating your boyfriend and that’s not okay. Get some help.
I'd tell her that I'm not going to do that and I'll go out as long as I want and I'd reassure her that she can trust me to do so, I'm not going to disappear for a few days and I'll keep my phone on if she feels the need to check up on me so she knows I'm safe. If she wants to go out til late then I trust her to do so and I know I can get hold of her. Sometimes it's not perfect, we've both got worried for eachother when one of us has been out and ran out of battery. But either way, we've got home. It's ok to worry, but if you trust them than you have to let them go out and do whatever, you can't tell them what to do. I've had a girlfriend who got really annoyed at me because I've gone out late with friends, eventually that got too much for me, felt suffocated.
By casual do you mean more of an open relationship? Or something with no labels? Never really “casually” dated before. My last two relationships were 3 and 2 years so never tried the whole “casual” dating thing. I am a very future oriented person and really only date for marriage
Hey, thanks for your comment, but I don't appreciate the judgment. I'm not “flashing my gold” or trying to buy people's affection. I genuinely care about this girl and want to make sure she's not just using me for my money. Can we keep the conversation constructive and focus on helpful advice?
You said going was a deal breaker and he still went. Now you have to follow through with that and kick him out. If you don't he will know he can do all those things that are also deal breakers because you will just act like a doormat and he can get away with it. He will go again and get more lap dances and maybe some extras, you won't know, he will just gaslight you again. Is thus really what you want your child seeing? He's probably chatting shit about you and laughing with his friends behind your back. Maybe even already arranged the next time. I don't mean to come across as mean but, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Chin up sweetie. Dump his ass and concentrate on you and your new baba.
Oh you poor child. Part of me thinks this post has to be fake because the abuse in this post is so blatantly obvious that it's naked to believe it could be real. The other part of me thinks that if this is real all I can say is oh you poor child.
The red flags are flying everywhere. He is controlling and he is dangerous. This will never get better, in fact it will only get worse and the abuse will escalate to the point that it might mean the difference between life or death for you. I know that sounds extreme but you need to hear the worst case scenario.
You can do better than this. You are better than this. Leave him now.
This guy sounds like a fucking dickhead. Get a grip. He has no respect for you and you excuse it by discrediting and demeaning yourself. You need to break up with him and go no contact. And then immediately get yourself into therapy.
Based on your post history, I wouldn't be surprised if this guy is still fucking around on dating apps. “not used to having a girlfriend” is a shit ass excuse. He's 31. Most people his age are already fucking married or at least have long term partners.
He is a piece of shit and appears to feel entitled to being a piece of shit.
Don't ask questions you don't want the answer too
Idk if you need therapy necessarily but he should definitely see a doctor about possible erectile dysfunction
Not sure whether I should ask for those things? To be honest, I felt I'd be asking too much, and he is very likely to reject me.
I was the first person she called when he proposed. I also lived with her for 2 years growing up and let her stay at my apartment when she had breaks in college. So I think we are pretty close
Get him to send you an admission in writing over text. Then leave him, and on your way out stop by the police station and show them the texts, because what he did is illegal.
Police may not help too much at this point since the post is deleted, and they're just realistically unlikely to use resources to open up a full scale investigation. However, I'd personally ask them if they're willing to pay him a visit. They are often open to that sort of intervention on domestic-type disputes. Hopefully a couple uniformed officers showing up at this shitty dude's door and questioning him about illegal photos he posted online will scare the living daylights out of him well enough to never do this to another girl.
Wtf did I just read, ??? Omg
He hasn’t accessed it because he has probably moved on to storing a larger collection on a removable naked drive.
He says they've broken up. She believes, and is being told, that they are “working on their relationship”. His family still believes they're together and are going to work it out, and his friends know he's got a side piece but don't care.
Wow, what a shit show this is. You actually wrote this out:
“ Also, she is willing to share her location with me permanently, she is willing to unfollow anyone I ask her to, she is willing to remove anyone I ask her to remove (IG or Snap), her Snapchat is always her curving guys now, she will not wear something when she goes out if I tell her not to wear it, she DIDN'T join a sorority because I said I would not date her if she did (I am not in a fraternity), she is willing to hang out with me multiple days of the week-and on a going out night, she always lets me fuck her.”
You are acting possessive, petty and like a colossal asshole. I hope you grow up and she is 100% going to leave you, rightfully.
Therapy for both immediately! That poor baby is learning his fathers love is conditional and not that he is loved even though he made a bad choice. He is also learning that this is how husbands treat wives and dads treat their kids instead of loving open communication and conflict resolution. Finally your husband is being childish with this silent treatment bullshit proving his anger and his grudge are more important then his family. I don’t want to say give an ultimatum but let him know the steps you are willing to take to protect your son and he can either work just as naked as you to resolve this or he can give you the silent treatment in his own place away from you both. Stand strong for yourself and your son. Your son will thank you for it later. Best of luck.
It does!
Yeah that's the only part of the story I'd assume is a lie. “I took my drunk ex home after a party just so we could keep our super nice chat going late into the night but I am stunned that we had sex. I was so shocked I did it 3 more times that week.”
I think you're right.
I have no sexual desires towards other women, but I also don't have a strong sex drive (anymore), so I don't think I would even seriously consider leaving my husband if he came out as trans. He would still be able to meet my needs as a she even if I prefer him as a he (it's going to be funny when he catches up on reddit stalking me and comes across this).
One thing is to say you want to adopt a baby regardless of race/ethnicity and another is to shop for a particular race/ethnicity that's not your own or partners. This is like a red flag without any rationale as to why.
WTF is wrong with you? You do not need an apology you actually need to run and call the police.
Its been 6 months and all I've gotten is attitude when I bring it up
This is the concerning part for me. He hasn't committed to rescheduling? If that was a real reason that he believed you'd think he'd be trying to re-plan the wedding…
So you’ve been together since you were 18 and she was 15 or am I not matching correctly??
There's no need to sit here and guess. Go get some pregnancy tests. Good luck.
Sex lives are different for everyone, some get it daily, some once a month but you should not have sex with someone after surgery if it's painful especially if you don't want it as well. It's a young relationship, write up the pros and cons and take your feelings into account because you don't want to be stuck in a miserable relationship if you can get out sooner rather than later
What you need to do is leave his lying, cheating ass. It couldn’t be more clear here
Why did you post this if you didn’t want feedback? You are rationalizing and arguing your points over and over, unwilling to hear the feedback you are getting.
Yea definitely agree, she has good benefits with her job so it should be easy to find a professional.
“Get over it” is just asking for a future divorce when she clearly can’t get over the issue that bothered her so much she took it to Reddit. What a great guy with great advice, eye roll.
The 47 year old guy will always be an option to fall back on-he’ll never find another 23 year old, it’s statistical unlikely. Most women wouldn’t go near a seriously charged ex-con. If you stick with him, there isn’t any chance of any kind of healthy future. There is a real chance with this “new guy”. But in any case, whatever you do, you need to quit with the fentanyl-it will destroy your health, if it doesn’t kill you, or get you thrown in jail. Right now is the time to prepare for the future. One step at a time.
I would have broken the phone. Dump his low life A S S. Just make sure he doesn't have your pics.
I don't know – why can't you? I know you feel guilty about her situation but you didn't cause her problems, she did and it's not your job, now or in the future, to solve them. She will manage because she will have to. She's dysfunctional now because you are mopping up her mess. When you stop doing that, she'll actually be on the path to sorting herself out. Whether she follows that path or not is NOT your responsibility.
Can we please not jump to diagnosing someone with BPD because they’re abusive. It’s stigmatised enough. He could just be an arsehole.
I don’t know the right answer, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t “immediately expose more of him to your mom” after flashing his weiner at her.
Let them have time digest this new relationship after the rocky start. There’s no rush, especially if he’s special enough to deserve introducing them.
What's going to happen next? Nothing. She's not going to quit.
You played a game and she won. Breaking up is out of the question? That's fine. Just understand she's always going to smoke. There's nothing “noble” about you not saying anything.
buy them plane tickets and tell them to come
Again … no one said anything about faking a marriage
It’s never easy but it’s the not easy things that build character and make you a better stronger person. You’re gonna be just fine
I was about to be 20 in that post so i rounded. We met when I was 17. I chased him. He didn’t start dating me till I was 18. These are all legal ages and I lived alone during these times. I was financially independent etc.
There was a huge update to the AITA post but mods removed it. The AITA subreddit can be rather vicious. There’s been huge improvements since some people commented advice and we took it on board.
This man has the truth of it
Girls in a relationship are not any different. Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't change anything. We are allowed to touch, kiss (unlike males) and support each other. (Girl) Friends are the best thing in life cause they usually stay a long time and love you as you are. They are not exclusive relationships .
I think you are a bit too jealous or possessive dude! Let it go! If there was something more in their relationship other than pure friendship that is. They would hide it from you. Remember this, what you see is usually all what it is.
Always let ppl be who they are! You ll learn who they are for real much faster. When you start trying to modify their behavior you are only making ppl do something they don't want to do or undo and eventually they will do it anyway.
Let them be! Chill ☺️
You didn't shatter her confidence you shattered her trust in you and she'll never look at you the same way again. What in the world made you think that this was a good idea? You preferred her scared and now she's scared of you. Not smart.
Your going to cheat on your partner, probably with this ex your going for a “friendly” lunch on Monday. Either work on your relationship and go for counselling with her, or call it quits before you do irreparable damage to your partner by cheating on her.
Another case of reddit making me thankful for the friends I have, because people really do settle for awful friends. Your supposed best friend is still friends with the guy that your EX cheated on you with? Like for real? That's no true friend of yours, someone did something similar in our friend group( Known eachother since we were 7, so been friends for over 2 decades now) and he was kicked out. I am sure he wouldn't be cool with him if banged his wife, but hey it didn't happened to him ay?
You need some new friends
It's ridiculous that this is downvoted lmao
I don’t know exactly. I think he might be overthinking things but I’m not sure.
He should not be asking for a ring. Is that what has happened?
lmao this is why you don't wait for marriage
How can I demonstrate the need for one? Just cause she keeps coming up here? And like how would that work cause she has a bedroom right below me. Idk.
And the fact that I just enjoy her presence. Feels better with her up here than when she's not . Bla. I am weak and dumb.
Having to reply to this part, as the back down is real, as you go about deleting your posts.
Looks back over your comments throughout this topic
Telling people to go back to their CoD lobbies is obviously the highest compliment, then.
I don't think anyone is really arguing here, but you, so the only thing you're 'winning' is the Olympic gold for mental gymnastics. Well done, champ!
‘You seem overly concerned about money’ after he’s taken over a grand from you? Given or not, it sounds like he’s not concerned enough about money…
Truth or dare? That's the stupid game? He knew what he was doing. He saw gray area and jumped at the chance. That's, unfortunately, why so many young people become victims. They aren't psychic. They dont know who is going to take advantage and who isnt. Let's not blame victims.
The lack of enthusiasm you're displaying speaks for itself. Don't commit yourself to something serious if you're not seriously committed. It would be a waste of your time and, more importantly, her time.
Basically. Since he refuses to communicate and no one knows his plans, I think it is better for you to tell him after the fact when asking where to send his keys. Both to avoid him trying to lovebomb and manipulate you into staying or purposely trying to sell the house and close before you have secured new housing. I don't know if he would do either of these things, but I'm not going to be generous about the character or integrity of a person who behaves like this either.
A lot of times this kind of homophobia is just the “default setting”. Like, this is how they were raised and they don’t understand anything else and they don’t want to because even thinking about it makes them uncomfortable. It’s not your job to fix that, but if you have the emotional bandwidth to spare there are ways to push back that won’t put them on the defensive. That’s why I went with kinda toned-down language in my suggestion above – It sounds like you’re not trying to drive them away or demonize them – you just want to be treated the same as everybody else. I think if you keep the focus on that there’s a good chance that over time you might be able to get through to them that you’re not some kind of deviant weirdo – you’re just their daughter and deserve the same treatment and love as their other kids.
No response as of yet so it’s looking like an onto the next one angle and that’s totally fine too! 🙂
That is emotional abuse, he's gone full blown narcissistic. You deserve better and you know it deep down!
And I second that, his ego is way over inflated. And you staying in the relationship despite the emotional abuse he is putting you through is further inflating this gigantic ego.
“Im so great that I can talk this girl down constantly and she still stays cause I'm just so grand and naked and magnificent, I can disrespect her without worry that she will leave, and don't need to waste efforts to respect her cause my greatness puts me above all these insignificant commoners” or whatever bs is going through his head haha
I can promise you that a year from now you'll think of him and cringe and wonder why you haven't just told him “ok little boy, time for you to go f*ck allllll those hoes you ignored cause I'm ooooout”
I imagine so. Pretty sure just about anyone would hate a relationship like that. So leave.
Indeed. I don’t know everyone my husband slept with before we met and I don’t care to, why would it matter to the here and now reality of our relationship?
While we were dating I never handed him a list of guys I’ve fooled around with before him. So according to these comments I have been lying to him by omission for 7 years. But that’s not the case.
I will add that many young people in big friend groups have hooked up with each other. I grew up in a big city and even then in high school I’d say there was a ton of this (and there wasn’t a central high school for the area). It’s fine. Honestly. It happens. So just agreeing with you happy_halloweenie.
OP, I get why you don’t want to think about her hooking up with these people in the past. So I vote don’t. Try to let the past stay in the past. What happened didn’t effect your future together, unless you let it, of course.
Only reason I doubt that is because apparently these two were friends/on a very friendly basis with one another – if it was an aggression thing I don't think the friend would just ghost or word it the way he did .
He wants to bang his ex.
?? this.. best comment ever!
Yea my original comment I specifically said what I’d do.
Adoption as a single unemployed man who lives with his parents and openly says he doesn't want to work, to raise a child and that actually, taking care of himself is too much – yeah, no.
She's playing like a fiddle, dude. But it's your life and you can online it however you see fit.
You guys are talking about having a threesome and you’re surprised he was thinking about what other girl he would want to include?
You’re over thinking this big time
One way I recommend coping with this type of anxiety (which yes, is common to only have with a romantic interest or s/o) is distraction. I know you've got a job and hobbies and such, but may I recommend: reading other RA posts and replying to them? Perhaps you have some nuggets of wisdom to share, and even if a person is trolling, the questions raised can lead to you asking yourself some important questions and potentially writing out how you feel about the answers for the first time. Just don't do it too much because you don't want to get stuck in overanalyzing relationships or only thinking about the negative aspects of them.
If he's willing to send a dick pic, it's only logical that he'd be willing to send actual proof. Sounds more like he saw an opportunity to mess with OP and took it.
It’s really simple. If the guy really loves you, he would move heaven and earth to be with you.
If you are a convenience, he will create circumstances beyond your control to not be with you.
Are his thumbs broken? It's not your responsibility to make sure he gets up after a late night of gaming. Any adult man who puts this kind of shit on their partner should be avoided, this is a massive red flag.
Yeah maybe I should work on that haha I’m pretty straight forward and understand that’s not everyone’s cup of tea! Thank you dazzle!
ngl I would take a little trip to the rope and chair store if this happened to me. Don't do that though
I think you did the right thing. You simply cannot go forward with a marriage when some of the people closest to you is steal something precious from you and lie about it and no one else including fiancé is taking your side.
They could have discussed their concerns with you (or even your MOH), but instead they chose to pretend they were ok with it and then steal it from you at the last second when it would be very embarrassing for you to walk away. I think you’re a very strong person for not giving into the pressure and deciding to get out of that toxic situation.
Even if you had been doing something morbid the fact they took away your choice and tried to put you in a situation where you couldn’t say no is not okay under ANY circumstances. They knew what they were doing with the timing and they didn’t care what the emotional impact on you was. They thought they could pressure you into putting on a happy face and going along with it
Getting crushes on coworkers is normal and common.
But you don’t do anything with them because she deserves to be able to work without the stress of knowing she had to reject somebody she is forced to see every day.
If you wanna take your shot when you quit by all means. But until then you keep it professional if you truly like her.
never even occurred for me to ask the race of anyone's ex – ever – it has never come up, did a double take because I knew all the words, but hadn't seen them in that order before
If it happened once, it will 100% happen again.
Addiction is addiction. There's no boundaries they won't cross to get their fix. It's the nature of the disease.
Calling you a bitch is abusive even if you were well, do NOT worry or even think about him fighting with your mom, she’s an adult and can handle her own problems, it’s not your responsibility to take care of your parents.
It's not uncommon for me to fall asleep at the dentist, I have a resistance to pain that many envy me. And the chair is so comfortable that I easily relax and sleep through long procedures. Also, I had only slept 4 hours that night to prepare for a college test, so I couldn't help but fall asleep.
His friends sound like assholes – and that's assuming his friends are actually saying those things, and that he's not making it up to make you feel bad. Would you really want to be in a long-term relationship whose friends would be so judgemental of you?
My opinion is that it's better to wait at least a year before moving in together under normal circumstances because in the early part of a relationship (sometimes called the “honeymoon stage”), the people only see the good things in the other person and not the bad and since undoing living together is usually a little challenging, it's better to wait until you have a realistic view of each other.
In special circumstances though, like you have with her parents wanting her out by June, I think it might be worth taking the risk if you really feel that you can handle it and resolve disagreements (because there will be some). It is a bit risky, but given the circumstances where you're kind of forced to do something, it might be worth the risk.
Yes and he does but I honestly think since he’s such a long term avid user that it doesn’t help how it used to
Lmao, this guy did not say “British cream”… no waaaay.
He's also said “proper hawt”, I can see why the wife would go to the bar, if he even has one.
I don’t know how to add a photo.
Lawyer up son. This is definitely a whirlwind. Can't imagine how you're feeling. Other commenters probably are onto something, but realize that its not your fault. She's already gone, just protect yourself so you are getting taken advantage of. Separate. Don't give her any attention, don't fight for her, don't do anything to sacrifice for her. Focus on your kid and make it clear that your only concern is being in her life and being a father to her. A lawyer will tell you better, but you shouldn't give her anything that will be able to be twisted when it comes to litigating custody. Your daughter will be okay and arguably better if you are able to give her an example of what a happy and healthy relationship looks like with someone other than your wife. If you stay just for her, she will pick up on the dynamics of the relationship and internalize that as her model.
Get to the gym, get your confidence up, and maintain confidence that you'll be just fine finding other women. There's plenty out there when you're ready. Divorce sucks, but it may be the best route.
Sorry you're going through it. Best of luck.