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Date: October 2, 2022
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So what do they think I mean when I ask to be their friends ? Why don’t they ask me to clarify if it really confuses them to that extent? Why don’t they respect that I decided to label it as a friendship rather than a relationship..?
How did he cheat on you? Why did he do it? How did you find out?
I think this is a great idea. Especially taking the gun safety courses. I'm terrified of guns but I feel like if I were to take the course first that would help a lot. My initial reaction is to downvote you but you're right. I'm a very small woman and from past experiences, I know how I react in those situations so I know for a fact fighting is not an option for me. I feel like even just flashing a gun at them, assuming they aren't armed themselves, will stop them in their tracks.
Yeah, I’m just saying I think trick is a better word for it than force.
It is possible, but again, it’s not going to work consistently and probably won’t last long.
Emotional abuse, which is what Mark did, is insidious, and while it can seem like it’s not actual abuse, it can actually be very damaging and very hot to detect. It sound like she was in a position of being a very caring person in general who loves helping people and that put her in the position of wanting to help Mark as your best friend and her friend too. That much is innocent.
Then he crosses so many lines, threatens to destroy everything she cares about, man handles her twice which would leave her wondering what else he would do, she is probably afraid and not sure what to do and telling you could as easily ended in everything blowing up honestly. Losing his friendship would hurt you and she doesn’t sound like the type to inflict that pain intentionally so she takes the view that if she can handle this alone you will be spared that pain.
By the time Mark attacks you she is conditioned to care for him or else. She has felt trapped and thus afraid for like a year now? During the fight because you love each other and you make her feel safe she isn’t afraid of your reaction but is of his. She is reacting like someone who has been abused and is reacting irrationally. Nowhere in the story does it make sense why she is defending Mark except for this. She texted him again yes, seemed to care for him, but care like this in such a volatile situation is often actually fear in disguise.
They did not sleep together and now she has lost you her very best friend and love. She is looking down a dark future right now where she feels alone and blames herself for it all. She knows she has a good heart and look where it got her. It’s dark and confusing and she is faced with accepting you don’t love her anymore though she still loves you.
I’m not suggesting she was perfect in this but I believe the emotional abuse and it’s effects are largely being overlooked by everyone. I feel like her intentions were good to begin with and then Mark villainously went off the rails into some crazy abusive and totally inappropriate behavior. That guy was horrible and Emily seems like a small animal of prey to me who doesn’t even recognize her own situation for what it is.
Take this how you want. I feel sad for you both. I don’t think this is like a straight cheating situation at all. I would consider these points as much as the other ones at least and I wish you both luck. Mark can suck it. Not a good or safe guy. He is the one who deserves the hate from everyone. He hurt you both terribly.
Stomach bug is always my go to LOL.
First part—duh, she’s the problem. Of course someone would still be with a partner if they didn’t ruin the relationship. Then came the part where bf is obsessed with ex and constantly brings her up every couple days—OOH, bf is the bigger problem for sure.
OP asked the wrong question, I think she wants to ask him if bf wishes he was still with his ex and it if op’s observation is right, bf totally wishes he was with ex.
OP needs to delay the wedding and they need to stop being fiancés. The bf needs therapy and figure out if he’s actually invested in this new relationship and if he’s willing to let go of the past.
Damn, what a comeback, I lose. How old are you? 14?
Yes