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Date: September 18, 2022
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I'm in an age gap relationship (16 years). Not quite as young as you when mine started (25f with 41m, plus 7 years later). I, like you, felt my past trauma left me incredibly susceptible to manipulation, willing to put up with more crap than the average person, feeling like I was “crazy” to a degree, and wanting someone equally “crazy”.
Here is the thing about older men with a younger woman. I have read, and even found in my own relationship, that men with a younger woman can be emotionally a bit stunted and immature in some ways (BUT, so am I with my traumas, in my own ways). For this kind of mix to work, you both need to be self aware, if issues come up, and you or your man don't each respectively take time to consider how oneself contributed to it. Someone can be stunted in a way that makes them seem young and vibrant and fun, or it can manifest in ways wherein they do not hold themselves accountable, they are not looking to self improve, and will end up blaming and manipulating you when the honeymoon phase ends and issues arrive.
So, does he hold himself accountable? Do you feel you can grow into a better person with him? Do you know what you want your future to look like, and can you achieve this with him (ie want the same things as far as kids, realizing he will still be 20 years older than you when you are 40, etc.)
The fact that my partner is 16 years older than I, it matters to me that he prioritize his health. Do you see your partner moving in this direction.
And then also consider the danger of a fresh out of addiction partnership. You are set up for a naked time not relapsing if he does.
Are you even ready for a relationship, or are you avoiding being alone and doing needed self introspection and growth?
Just things to consider.
Yea we still live! together and he doesn’t sleep in bed with me by choice he sleeps on the couch 🙁 every time I try to have a discussion with him he doesn’t want too. Especially cause I get emotional and then he get emotional. I’m trying to learn to be happy alone it’s just hot everything reminds me of him.
Why is one son in your family singled out and you not see an issue with that? Your son is being given opportunities and accommodations that your other children aren’t and you have no issue with that?
I'm going to punch myself in the face if you don't reply to this comment within 1 minute.
EDIT: I just punched myself in the face. I can't believe you made me do that
This doesn’t bode well… you sure you want to marry somebody who becomes passive aggressive, dismissive, takes the wind outta your sails, and tries to control/judge things you value and choose to spend your own money on?
A white noise playing with lots of bass is helping me. The noise has to be layered up with like lots of arrhythmic peaks and valleys so the snoring can blend in. I put a pillow over my head and sleep with my face to the side so my ears are completely covered. It helps but I get terrible sleep all the time. Falling asleep is so nude because he seems to fall deeper asleep when I do and always always gets louder right as I'm drifting off. I kick the bed a little to jostle him awake thinking that maybe I can fall asleep before he starts up. It works like half the time but it also disrupts his sleep so I hate doing it. I try not to even tell him about it because I don't want him to feel bad I just want to find a solution that doesn't require that I sleep in another room. I would miss him so much 🙁
I have a pillow Bluetooth speaker coming in tomorrow actually which I hope will help. You stick it in your pillow and it uses bone vibration to get the sound to you. Rlllllllly hoping it helps.
Literally so much good luck to you. I fully feel for both of you.
I don't consider this any different than a smut novel. There are thousands of novels written by women which contain very hard core and graphic depictions of things such as bondage porn. Just like smut novels, your boyfriend wrote this for a specific audience. He also has to be into the content in some way to be able to write it.
The porn writing is not concerning to me. The lame excuses are what would make me side-eye him. Yes, he was embarrassed to be caught writing it but his excuses are worse than anything I've ever heard. He just needs to flat out admit “yeah I wrote porn because it's the porn I like to watch. Doesn't mean I would practice this in real life if I could. I have morals and there are lines that cannot/should not be crossed”
Just because something is shallow doesn't make it immoral. If you have a desire for more sex and you're not getting it at the moment, then it'd be the right thing to break up with your girlfriend first. I'm just highlighting that this isn't going to be smooth. She will get hurt, and I'm just hoping you realize that and take the necessary steps to be as tactful as possible when letting her down.
The next time he tries to insist, remind him that he has literally already implied he'd be with her if he could be, calmly explain that you've decided you've listened to him try to suggest helping him park alongside her to wait for her boyfriend to leave and that you won't be keeping him company while he does.
Walk away action star-style without looking back at the fire.
I know I should but I don’t want him to think that I’m mad. Just so he can see that I’m intentionally ignoring him which is petty I know
No, she does not think “everyone should have open relationships.” That’s false. Either listen to it or don’t, but don’t lie about what she says and thinks.
Gotta love your therapist