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PleasingMyPussyNow
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I think there are bigger problems in your relationship that you are either unaware of or chose not to post here. This wasn't just about your girlfriend getting black or drunk and calling you a loser. This started with your girlfriend not wanting to celebrate with you at all, telling you it isn't a big deal, not wanting to spend time with you the whole day.
Honest take is that she's checked out of the relationship at this point, then the anniversary comes up, it's supposed to be a big deal, she realizes that she doesn't care and then is just angry all day that she has to pretend to care about something she doesn't care about, then proceeded to make you a miserable as possible. Likely either she's already moved in to someone else, or she's just planning on breaking up with you. Either way, you need to have a sit down with her when she sobers up and find out if she's even still happy in your relationship, because it doesn't sound like she is.
Do you have a toxic marriage that you stay in. That’s enough reason to leave anyway but yes, his behaviors inappropriate and cringe he at least. And I’m sure he has a thing for the mom or whoever is texting over there leave him.
I don't mean this to be cruel, but losers do on again off again relationships. Whatever broke you 2 up, you should of made it permanent. You don't want to keep wasting your prime years on this guy.
This is complex and honestly I'd seek the help of a family therapist to mediate the conversation with your wife. She needs to understand that your sons mental well being is the top priority and no one deserves to feel less than based on their appearance. It's not fair to you, it's not fair to your son.
She has previous experience with a therapist that traumatized her. They are mandated reporters and one reported the awful things she shared with them. She feels deeply betrayed, and does not trust therapists…
A therapist isn't anyone. And if he's not interested in doing the work to fix this with himself and his relationship with you then how can he ever assure you he wouldn't hurt you like this again? The fact he even made that step mentally is pure insanity to me. It shows a lot how he views women and how he would view sleeping in the same bed with his sister. That's big. HUGELY CONCERNING. I wouldn't tell him he has the choice to.
I would tell him that a condition of reconciliation is couples therapy at minimum and preferably individual therapy for him because you won't stay in a relationship where someone isn't showing you they're working to fix deeply troubling thoughts in their mind. Also this isn't just about him. It's about you and you needing to establish trust and connection before you can consider remaining married to this man. Does he not want to do whatever he can to re-establsih that and stay married?
My user name.
She’s letting people she meet on grindr cream pie her. There is nothing in this post that makes it seem like OP is book smart or emotionally smart. The victim complex with that rape stuff is insane
You have no control over her reaction. It’s fair to ask why she’s in daily contact with other men while she’s in a committed relationship.
One day you're going to look back on this and kick yourself for all the time and energy you wasted on this problem. This relationship is not serving you in any way and it's holding a big space in your life that could be taken up by something that will bring you fulfillment and growth. Maybe that's a relationship, maybe not – maybe it's something else entirely. When you excise an unhelpful use of your mental and emotional bandwidth, something like this relationship is to you, the space it held in your life doesn't stay empty. It creates a vacuum. It fills with new things that take you in new directions. You learn, you grow, you experience new things. The longer you stay the longer you deprive yourself of that.
Love yourself. Get out of there and don't look back. You deserve to figure out what should go in that space.
You know u have free will? Just leave
She needs to grow TF up. 38 and still acts like a child? Redflag
By “the environment” are you talking about stuff like global warming or something else?
Do you want to be his third baby mama? Although for all you know there’s another child out there, apparently he doesn’t practice safe sex & has a questionable relationship with the truth.
Do you want to have to base financial decisions on his child support payments? Are you okay with a man that will just ignore their own child? Are you okay with knowing he’s a liar? With never really knowing what else he’s lying about? This isn’t a healthy relationship, and love is not enough to make a relationship healthy or smart.
You are responsible for managing your own feelings. Full stop.
She is not yours to offload your negative feelings on.
It is not her job to soothe your temper.
She is not meant to absorb the impact of the negative emotions you feel around others, but only let out in her presence.
She is not your dumping ground.
“Grumpy” sure sounds like you’re underplaying your role in this. Also, if she’s making bids to improve the situation and you’re not meeting her ready to work on it UNTIL she’s halfway out the door, you’ve probably sealed your fate.
Signed, a woman who was the emotional punching bag for an abusive man for 12 years.
This is why people lie…
Maybe you could try to fulfill some of the things he “missed” out on.