*** Reposting due to lack of replies ***
So me (42m) and my wife (39f} have been married for almost 10 years, together for 12. Relationship has been great up until a couple of years ago when we started to become less physically intimate.
She developed some other symptoms which eventually ended in a diagnosis of early menopause. She started HRT around 6 months ago which has alleviated some of the symptoms but not all. Her libido is now virtually non-existent.
We've always had a physical relationship, and I'm finding it really hot to live! without this now. We have sex maybe once a month and to be honest it feels like pity sex most of the time.
I've given up trying to initiate anything now. I feel unloved and unwanted.
She said to me last night (as I was about to fall asleep) that she was sorry she doesn't put out much. She said it along with something else, I just ignored the comment about not putting out as it was too late to talk about it and I was tired. But it woke me up as I thought about the phrasing because it's not something she would normally say – "not putting out" indicates that she doesn't really want to but is doing it more from a sense of duty or obligation.
I don't want that. I want someone who genuinely wants to get physically intimate because they want to, and because they want to with me. Actually struggling to cope with this. I find myself looking at couples out on the street and wondering how many times they do it, how the guy must feel to lie in bed with someone who gets horny, etc. Quite soul-destroying actually.
Any advice on what to do next would be appreciated.
submitted by /u/ThrowRAirnbru
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