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A ( no bb ), y.o.
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Date: December 9, 2022
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Sounds like you might be from the Midwest.
She's not fulfilling her end of the bargain with marriage and intimacy. Voice this to her. It isn't fair and shouldn't have to be dealt with
Just watched the movie today lol, so accurate
Honestly if I invited my partner to a family get together and they weren’t involved in the planning I wouldn’t expect them to pay anything. I would foot the bill for them. As they would be my plus one. So that aspect to me is kinda odd.
Him not understanding the value of money will be a problem that’ll pop up numerous times. If he can’t understand that a certain amount of money can be either cheap or expensive compared to a person’s income. I had an ex boyfriend who earned a high wage while I was on a low wage at the time with no savings to my name. He had plenty of savings etc. When it came to planning to live together he couldn’t understand that my monthly wage simply couldn’t cover 50% of all the bills and rent. I just didn’t have enough money to on-line in his area if he expected me to pay 50/50 which wasn’t possible until I got a better job. He wasn’t prepared to move to cheaper area. So we never moved in together because I couldn’t afford to.
If I were you I would explain I would love to go but I simply can’t afford the cost so this time around I unfortunately won’t be able to join you.
I moved because I put work opportunity before her. I thought we’d be fine. 2. She didn’t go because she had local opportunities. Yes I’d move. And it will just mean taking a different state bar exam.
I also guess I feel like I won’t make the same mistake twice. And if she’s firm on living near her family, I’ll just be flexible on where I work. I know it sounds extreme but she’s worth it. Even a chance at it is worth it.? Thanks all!
If you're in the friendzone just initiate girlfriend behavior and if he's down then you win. You really don't have anything to loose here because you're already wasting your time
They’re both cheaters and Tyler isn’t the best option either. They all need to be single for a while
he tells me he is sorry and he didn't know why he did it. He thought I was laughing at him because apparently he fell walking up the steps to our seats.
That's just incredibly insecure and a dangerous anger management problem. Even if you were laughing at him, he shouldn't be throwing things at you.
But the fact you weren't, he imagined it completely out of thin air, and then threw things at you?
I'm sorry but I've got some bad news for you.
I might be so hurt because my relationship prior to my husband was abusive.
Your relationship to your husband right now is abusive. Maybe it's less abusive than your previous relationship, but that's like saying someone is good because they only punched you a dozen times instead of dozens of times like the las person to attack you.
r/introspectiveliar, yes it can be enough, I just need to get out of my head and let things be…
the one thing I do tell myself to keep me grounded, especially when I'm anxious, is this:
“he chose me”
I don't think I can even scrutinize that thought ?
I'm 5'2, my ex is 5'11. My grown son is 6'2 and my not yet grown son is 6'.
Just tell him it’s too slow and move on. You have no idea what he wants but this isn’t working for you.
Ask him to look you up when he’s actually interested in properly dating.
Thanks yeah I haven't gotten therapy yet but I can say I'm my life I have never done this…it's not typical behavior.
Just tell her you’re not interested. Reading your immaturity and shitty attitude that comes through in this post it’s hot to believe you’re actually 30 and think you’re some kind of prize lol.
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Him thinking other people are attractive doesn't in itself mean he's going to cheat.
If he's a cheater you can't stop it from happening and it'll be entirely his fault if he does. I personally think he isn't one though, he's uncomfortable lying and part of this issue is him maybe being a bit too honest with you.
Well, your boundaries need to be respected as well.
But you can’t really play with these things for too long. You know all it takes is a break, and a smooth talked to swoop in an stela your chick.
Engagement buys you at least a year or two as well so. Just know that.
Also she is probably trying to light a fire UNDER your ass. If she is lighting fire IN your ass I could see your hesitation for marriage lol.
Best of luck man.
Heck no, this is dysfunctional. Everything beautiful comes from the right things going in the right places at enough of the right times. And that means everything beautiful comes from limits that make that possible. You can't have quality without limits.
So to have your physical and emotional needs met, you won't be getting the same quality if you are also getting what you need from an ex. Part of what makes some of the intimacy of a couples relationship special and gives it the power it has is how special depending on each other for what the other gives becomes. It adds to the preciousness of the relationship. It would rob you both of the chance to meet your needs in a more complete way. By blurring the lines between platonic and romantic, it dilutes what it gives.
They are both a rejection. One implies a gender and the other doesn't. One implies something more serious but both are saying there is not an availability in the romance department.
This is why I have to treat a certain ex of mine like he’s dead. Blocked and muted on everything. Out of sight, out of mind.
“This may seem kind of small”
Actually, no it doesn’t. You need to warn her parents to keep the dog safe at the very least
Can’t you just go? You don’t need his permission, do you?
What if you two drank coffee on the porch and talked there? He can think you are up to no good on your porch/balcony/patio. If you have one of those.
You can start by growing up and stop calling it a mistake. You made a deliberate choice to knowingly hangout with your ex behind your boyfriends back and knowing left out the part where he kissed you. Those are not mistakes. What you described are the actions of someone who only cared about themselves.
So take responsibility. Stop making excuses. Just say you messed up and you're sorry.
If he still wants to work on the relationship after that then you two can start the process of rebuilding trust. Given how young you two are that's probably a long hot road.
You shouldn't be suprised if he doesn't forgive you when you keep making excuses or if you two simply break up.
What is the advice? I’m lost.
Just stick with it. Eventually he will leave his wife for you.
You only have 5 days left before he leaves anyway. It seems your relationship is over but you are trying to hang on to something that isn’t there anymore. You two obviously are not right for each other. Stop living in the past and start looking forward but kicking him out only days before he is due to leave anyway seems petty.
Well if you want to throw him out then just do that. We can’t do anything to help you with that. It definitely won’t help with your relationship with him and most likely won’t help his behavior, but hey if you don’t care then do you.
Maybe he’ll take you for dinner too when you become his ex!
While this would never be ok, you're a month in. A month in, you should be firmly in the honeymoon period where everything is sunshine and rainbows.
She's here telling you she has feelings for other people. “I can't be with you if you have feelings for other people. Take care.”
You got lucky. Most who get married that young and that quickly now are struggling. It's a different time. Things like live dating have changed the dynamic.
Thank you. I should make it clear that the anxiety is not always this intense. But these days since her exams are on the horizon it’s the worst it’s ever been
The relationship is over. Gather up your dignity and move on.
He married, why do you care? Are you into helping to destroy people's lives?
It's always the massive age gap relationships lol.
I’d tell him to fuck straight off. What a jack ass.
Girl! You need to talk to him and let him know that personal time is important for you and it doesn't mean it's emotional distance.
You know I came here to say the same thing. I'm on the low energy spectrum of ADHD and I never pull this B's if anything my medication helps me out and keeps me focused on getting my girl off but then that's also a big turn on for me so that might change things but still OPs boyfriend is either lacking the skill or just all for himself when it comes to pleasure
He says he will stop eventually, even if true what will he do after? What decent job would he be able to get? Let’s assume he gets in no legal trouble he will still have a gap on his resume and be seen as “uneducated”. Is he going to get into a trade into his mid 30s lol. Your bf is literally telling you he wants his life to peak at this point. You stay with him, that’s on you.
Apparently down votes dictate how your feelings are controlled.. maybe delete them if your karma is so precious to you.
We did talk about all of those things, and he told me the answer was still yes and mine was too, we talked for like 10 hours. I don’t understand why he can’t do it beside me, but he swears he can’t. During this break it is a little different than when we were in school, we agreed not to like start any new relationships or anything but that was mainly him saying that because he said that’s what made it a “break” and not an “up”. He could like- talk to a girl or something but he knows who he’ll end up with type of deal
And it’s not even that he’s worried about her being sexually harassed or assaulted, he just doesn’t want her being close to other men. If he was worried about the harassment or assault aspect then I could SOMEWHAT understand his concern, but that’s not even it.
If she is going to invite you, it is to be assumed you will enjoy it. WTF?
I'm surprised this isn't addressed more in this thread. I couldn't imagine having my boyfriends movements so easily available, nor mine either. It just isn't necessary.
Can you move to her home town with the kids and live separately for a while why you see if you can make things work again? That way you’re not forcing her to choose a relationship with you in order to on-line in her home town.