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alexyferrer

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alexyferrer chat

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Date: September 23, 2022

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  1. I understand why most of the commenters are jumping to the conclusion that he's okay with cheating, etc.

    I'm going to offer you a different perspective. I assume like most 30 somethings your fiance doesn't have a ton of friends (it gets harder the older we get). So, his default switch is to defend the friend/friendship, whether he agrees with the action or not. I would probably do the same thing with my friends.

    There have been times where I have counseled my friend to do X and the friend did Y, which I did not agree with. I think your fiance went too far saying he could not be with you if you interfered, though its hard to guess at what was in his head from a one-sided reddit post.

    I suggest talking to him about infidelity in a vacuum if you're concerned about his values; take the friend/friendship out of the equation.

    You should also be somewhat self reflective. Are you threatened by Lizzie? What does her personal relationships have anything to do with your relationship? Even if you hate cheating and are judgmental, intellectually you must know there are countless cheaters in the world and I doubt you're actively seeking to rout them out.

    If you don't want to be around Lizzie or hear about her escapades, that's completely fair, but I'm guessing this has more to do with you not wanting your fiance to be spending so much time with this other woman, even if it has been platonic so far.

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