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  1. Sounds like she has abandonment issues due to her father being out of the picture. Tell her the only way you can continue being in the relationship is if she seeks therapy to work on these issues.

  2. It’s still uncalled for. you can overthink all you want but that doesn’t excuse poor behavior. Your anxiety is yours to deal with and no one needs to tiptoe around that.

    My dad used his anxiety to justify a bunch of shit behavior because “he was worried” but his reaction to situations was his responsibility having an explosive reaction because you over think isn’t the correct path. Addressing and communicating your concerns is. If he was insecure he could have talked to her rather than parkour his way to conclusions but it doesn’t seem like he would have trusted her response either way. He decided the only reason for her behavior was infidelity and never even thought to check.

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  4. Whatever you ask her she will just tell you what you want to hear. You gotta look at the facts you know and decide for yourself if you really want to stay in this relationship.

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  6. Give it time. Tomorrow when you meet, just say: “I know we've exchanged unpleasant words and I'm sorry if I made you feel your experiences are not as bad as they were. I'd like to calmly sit down and talk through this.” Depending on her reaction can set the tone for what the future holds

  7. Sorry, one more thing, would it be wrong to ask her how she responded to the question of “can we be closer friends”? I feel like she hasn't actually given me the answer for that yet. I know she was also looking up “he's treating me like his girlfriend” scenarios on Google, so not sure how to piece those 2 scenarios together in my head.

  8. Good lord. He lied to her to get sex. You should be concerned that he lies so easily to get what he wants. What story did he tell you to get you back? Truly you have no self respect or standards.

  9. Yeah and with how this relationship has barely even begun She's showing so many red flags of what a horrible partner looks like. Just learn from this relationship, see all the things that she did or said that you are not okay with and take that with you for your next relationship, so if that person starts showing signs of acting like her, you know to just dip out as it's not worth your time and effort. Cuz even if you try to stay and work with someone like, If you're not happy at the beginning of the relationship then You're almost 100% guaranteed to not be happy through the entire relationship.

  10. Your future ex compartimentalizes very well. So with you and for you she is this, the conservative wife with extreme limits. She trusts you, she's just bullshitting that she will ever get more comfortable.

    It's also why when her partners come over she changes. Because she's someone else for them and you being there and your rules is irrelevant. And she found the perfect excuses – jealousy.

    Honestly, she is not ok if she can't get herselves together into one functioning human. She plays each part as needed/wanted. And she will not accept her as a wild/open person in her her as a wife life.

  11. NTA

    This won't be up long, but it's not rape. She consented — no one is entitled to know your entire or even recent history. Consent doesn't mean failing to provide a complete background check on yourself or justify your behaviors or actions.

    She said yes. She was sober and competent and she said yes. That should be the end of the story.

  12. Huuuum. How do you start the healing process… Step 1: Fix your crown Step 2: Dump his ass. Step 3: Realize that you deserve to be in a healthy relationship. Why are you willingly putting yourself through?

    YOU CAUGHT HIM!!! He didn’t admit to doing all of this, you fucking caught him! You guys don’t have inside jokes…. Because they’re the same he has with her. This MF was recycling his jokes and you were the recipient of these recycled jokes. Their relationship spanned YEAAARS! You had to remind him several times to cut any communications with her.

    Girl, dump him. It wouldn’t be giving up. It would be about self-respect because he doesn’t respect you.

  13. Yeah…it’s not going to get better from here on. She’s gonna be in his life & he made it know he’ll prioritize her. You can set boundaries but then to him you’ll probably come off as jealous. Instead of see this “friendship” as the problems for his failed relationship her blames his exs.

  14. That’s a tough choice! I’d probably do the wedding because I have a personal rule not to skip weddings. People really hold a grudge for that. Also my graduations don’t stick out as fun or memorable, but I’m no MD. Too bad you can’t do both.

  15. She would probably do the same thing and realize she misses me and come back a week later like nothing happened lol. Maybe I should just let it keep going on like that. She's an adult and if there's an issue she should tell me right?

  16. You stuck to your guns and shot down her dream scenario of mooching off you, I say good shot and keep moving on till you find the right one. I don’t think there is any coming back from that and I’d be wary of being baby trapped or manipulated because she’s already shown her true intentions and acted out when she didn’t get her way

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