I tried to make jokes to defuse the conversation but apparently I was making it worse. He would say he didn't like me acting disappointed when he turned me down and I'd try my best to control my reactions.
I’m going with troll at this point. The messages to each other are way too close in time. I wouldn’t suspect multiple drug addicts (or former drug addicts) check Reddit (and reply) whenever a notification pops up.
Because you see him differently. You treat him differently. You called him stupid and dumb. You make him feel like less. You don't want to hug him or touch him.
You are delusional. You are emotionally cheating. It shouldn’t matter how Sean feels. You should cut contact with him like yesterday. Grow up. Keeping this guy as a “friend” will only be bad for your relationship w Bob. If you really did care about Bob this is what you would do but you don’t.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
You didn't mention that your new wife is your daughter’s ex who you found on a sugar baby site. Just get out of your daughter's life. You obviously don't give a flying fig about her.
He’s trickle-truthing you. It’s a thing where he slowly surrenders a little bit of the truth to you so that she doesn’t get the brunt of your anger all it wants. Furthermore after begging for the full truth you are tired you just don’t want to fight and you basically are more likely to let him get away with it with a slap on the wrist. It is manipulative and he’s only doing it because you’re catching him.
If she told me she wasn’t interested and wanted nothing more to do with me, of course I would respect her wishes on the matter and that would be the end of it.
Yet she hasn’t. She texts me every day asking how my day was, calling me on the phone every few days to vent about how mad she is at her job, and all the typical stuff that someone who is interested in someone does.
Feels like a lot of mixed messages to me, thus my confused state.
First, you don't get to brush my position off as stupid just because yours seems like common sense to you.
Second, I'm autistic, and her objective, oblivious behavior is one I kinda recognize in both myself and my wife. Now I'm not saying she is autistic, I'm just not going to presume to know what she was thinking.
In my experience, there are two types of people when it comes to public displays of affection (these types of posts are a form of PDA).
Type 1: I'm so overcome by our love that I must shout it from the rooftops! This thing we have is so amazing, I can't keep it in. Everyone needs to know!
Type 2: This thing we have is so amazing, I just want to keep it social between us. No one in the world matters as much to me as you do, so why would I care if they knew about us?
Both of these types are completely valid, but can look foreign to the other type, and very hot to understand. Type 1 thinks type 2 doesn't care, since they aren't shouting it from the rooftops. Type 2 thinks type 1 doesn't care because their affection feels so performative, like they are just doing it to have others validate their relationship.
Maybe figure out why the posts are actually important to her and try to figure out a way that you can express what you feel in a way that is both authentic to you and emotionally fulfilling for her.
I'm not sure why your goal is to have him admit it. If he admits it, then will you leave him? If he admits it, what does that mean for you?
You are being gaslit. You have all the evidence. Why are you continuing to ask him when you know he will continue to lie about it? You can either choose to accept that he will continue to cheat with her and perhaps with others. Or you can leave the marriage.
If you need proof of cheating in order to leave the marriage and have a good divorce settlement, hire a private investigator.
I tried to make jokes to defuse the conversation but apparently I was making it worse. He would say he didn't like me acting disappointed when he turned me down and I'd try my best to control my reactions.
I’m going with troll at this point. The messages to each other are way too close in time. I wouldn’t suspect multiple drug addicts (or former drug addicts) check Reddit (and reply) whenever a notification pops up.
Because you see him differently. You treat him differently. You called him stupid and dumb. You make him feel like less. You don't want to hug him or touch him.
Oh, and because you're insane.
Thanks for the support!
Walk away. You’ll always be the third wheel for whatever codependent shit these two have got going on.
Until she tells him to fuck off and realises this is not a “friendship” it won’t work with anyone.
Why is it implied that he doesn’t have any respect for others’ boundaries??
You are delusional. You are emotionally cheating. It shouldn’t matter how Sean feels. You should cut contact with him like yesterday. Grow up. Keeping this guy as a “friend” will only be bad for your relationship w Bob. If you really did care about Bob this is what you would do but you don’t.
if i understand well, sister never planed to come to oop wedding ?
what kind of sister is this ?
Hello /u/Hmpx98,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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You can have fun in college while still in a relationship. He wants to fuck other girls in college. He’s telling you that pretty much
Nice
You didn't mention that your new wife is your daughter’s ex who you found on a sugar baby site. Just get out of your daughter's life. You obviously don't give a flying fig about her.
I think if he isnt ready after 6 years he never will be.
He’s trickle-truthing you. It’s a thing where he slowly surrenders a little bit of the truth to you so that she doesn’t get the brunt of your anger all it wants. Furthermore after begging for the full truth you are tired you just don’t want to fight and you basically are more likely to let him get away with it with a slap on the wrist. It is manipulative and he’s only doing it because you’re catching him.
This ⬆️⬆️⬆️ is exactly what I was thinking.
My rapedar is going off.
As per another reply I made:
As per another reply I made to a different user:
If she told me she wasn’t interested and wanted nothing more to do with me, of course I would respect her wishes on the matter and that would be the end of it.
Yet she hasn’t. She texts me every day asking how my day was, calling me on the phone every few days to vent about how mad she is at her job, and all the typical stuff that someone who is interested in someone does.
Feels like a lot of mixed messages to me, thus my confused state.
First, you don't get to brush my position off as stupid just because yours seems like common sense to you.
Second, I'm autistic, and her objective, oblivious behavior is one I kinda recognize in both myself and my wife. Now I'm not saying she is autistic, I'm just not going to presume to know what she was thinking.
Seems like this is time for individual (and couples when possible) therapy.
In my experience, there are two types of people when it comes to public displays of affection (these types of posts are a form of PDA).
Type 1: I'm so overcome by our love that I must shout it from the rooftops! This thing we have is so amazing, I can't keep it in. Everyone needs to know!
Type 2: This thing we have is so amazing, I just want to keep it social between us. No one in the world matters as much to me as you do, so why would I care if they knew about us?
Both of these types are completely valid, but can look foreign to the other type, and very hot to understand. Type 1 thinks type 2 doesn't care, since they aren't shouting it from the rooftops. Type 2 thinks type 1 doesn't care because their affection feels so performative, like they are just doing it to have others validate their relationship.
Maybe figure out why the posts are actually important to her and try to figure out a way that you can express what you feel in a way that is both authentic to you and emotionally fulfilling for her.
I'm not sure why your goal is to have him admit it. If he admits it, then will you leave him? If he admits it, what does that mean for you?
You are being gaslit. You have all the evidence. Why are you continuing to ask him when you know he will continue to lie about it? You can either choose to accept that he will continue to cheat with her and perhaps with others. Or you can leave the marriage.
If you need proof of cheating in order to leave the marriage and have a good divorce settlement, hire a private investigator.
Username checks out…