There is a lot to unpack here that I certainly am not qualified to address, so I am very glad you are in therapy and recognizing and working on yourself. That is AMAZING!! Please give yourself LOTS of credit for that!!!
I’m sorry you’re going through this – I’ve had partners who say one thing then act in the total opposite way and it’s a real mindfuck.
If he is truly great in all other ways but this: My simplest advice is to not have sex with him in ways that require aftercare for you. Sex doesn’t have to be degrading to be fulfilling – especially not every time! If he can’t stay awake post-sex (which he has repeatedly demonstrated he can’t), tell him your needs have changed and sex needs to be affirming and fun – make each other laugh, tickle, light-themed role play, etc.
If you both want to engage in mutually satisfying degrading sex, then schedule it for a weekend morning and/or have him chug a bunch of coffee after so he can be a good partner and take care of you like you NEED and DESERVE!!!
My last little piece of advice would be to make sure YOU have complete control over the videos you two make together. Just something to think over.
Absolutely not. She can pay the bills or pay you rent. Do not put her name on the house or anything.
There is a lot to unpack here that I certainly am not qualified to address, so I am very glad you are in therapy and recognizing and working on yourself. That is AMAZING!! Please give yourself LOTS of credit for that!!!
I’m sorry you’re going through this – I’ve had partners who say one thing then act in the total opposite way and it’s a real mindfuck.
If he is truly great in all other ways but this: My simplest advice is to not have sex with him in ways that require aftercare for you. Sex doesn’t have to be degrading to be fulfilling – especially not every time! If he can’t stay awake post-sex (which he has repeatedly demonstrated he can’t), tell him your needs have changed and sex needs to be affirming and fun – make each other laugh, tickle, light-themed role play, etc.
If you both want to engage in mutually satisfying degrading sex, then schedule it for a weekend morning and/or have him chug a bunch of coffee after so he can be a good partner and take care of you like you NEED and DESERVE!!!
My last little piece of advice would be to make sure YOU have complete control over the videos you two make together. Just something to think over.
Good luck ?
Then you shouldn't have accepted the terms. And to throw your past in your face years later is also a red flag. This guy is a walking neon sign.