My wife and I have been together for a little over 9 years. Married for 7. No kids yet. We are in good jobs, both making over 100k a year. Active social and sex life (not at the same time).
Yesterday, she told me the dreaded 11 words no one in a relationship wants to hear. "[Nickname], I need to be honest about something. Please don't be mad."
Naturally, that put me on edge, and I started thinking the worst. She then explained how one of her friends from college reached out and invited her to lunch (this I knew about) and she explained how she was doing well but recently got into OF and explained how much she was making off if it. She was thinking of making it her full-time job. Then she suggested that my wife should think about it.
My wife is beautiful and is in good shape, more on the curvy side, tattooed, "goth" type. and just overall a beautiful person.
She then said she looked into it more and was amazed at how many people had OF and were making good money off of it. She wanted to see if it was something she would be successful with (just as a way to make more money). She made an account and posed 9 photos over the 3 months or about every other week.
3 of the pics were of her in dresses she had tried on for an event we went to (nice for the event, but not one you would being to church or to grandma's house). 3 were of her when we went on a trip of her in a bikini. 3 were of just her feet when she got her nails done (I don't get the whole foot thing). All of the pics I had seen or had taken myself. All also posted on her private snapchat. So nothing to "provocative or inappropriate" in my eyes.
She disclosed how much she made. Her thoughts behind it. But then she showed me some messages. People want more, requesting content, and just some nasty comments.
She asked my thoughts. I told her I didn't care about the photos. But what hurts the most is the fact she hid this for 3 months. That I asked her 2 months ago why she was acting weird like she wanted to tell me something then gaslightted(?) me for weeks.
She said she was afraid of how I would react.
I said then, hiding it for an additional 2 months while still actively still posting on it was any better? I don't know what to say anymore. I needed time to think.
That is where I am now. Like I said, I don't care about the pics. (She did say she wanted to post more content that is more on the adult side. Which I'm conflicted about). But, I cared more about the fact she did this, hid it from me, continued doing it while gaslighting me to the point I thought I was doing something wrong in our relationship. And was being paranoid. I don't know what to think. I need all the opinions I can get. But please be respectful.
ETA: I can't respond to comments for some reason. Thanks for all the advice. There is a lot to think about. But to address some questions. 1. No, I won't send you her @. 2. She said the friend gave her a shout-out something along the lines of check out my friend she is new and giving it a try. 3. Her face was not shown in the pictures. One shot was full body, but all you can see is the back of her head. (Her tattoos are unique and most likely identifiable by close family and friends 4. Her job, I don't think, has an issue with it. But while she is at work, she covers her tattoo with clothing or leggings. Out of her work attire, you can see one if she has her hair up. Only like 4 people in her place of work know about all of them. 5. This all happened last night. 6. She has not communicated or responded to the messages.
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