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  1. Not saying this is the case, but sometimes when a guy complains about a woman being too masculine, it’s because the guy wants more emotional vulnerability from the woman (totally understandable as emotional vulnerability is essential to bonding and to build trust).

    The problem is when they say it like that, it shows two red flags. One, that the guy lacks the ability to articulate what they want in a non sexist manner. And two, that the guy criticizes others for simply not doing what he wants, when the healthy and respectful thing to do is to ask and negotiate for what he wants.

    So maybe let this fish swim away, but use the info on vulnerability to check in with yourself. How vulnerable are you in relationships, do you allow people in, or do you keep walls up and always try to be the strong one? Maybe google attachment styles, and check out that concept as it can be helpful to understand yourself and how comfortable you are with vulnerability.

  2. You are going to break your daughter’s heart by choosing a woman who actively rejects her. As an adopted child she will be especially aware of being treated differently. Everyone in this thread is practically begging you to do right by your children and you’re just defending your gf’s behavior. It’s pathetic.

  3. i dont have a lot of opportunity to get out there because of my agoraphobia. i know its a double edged sword but that is the hand I was dealt

  4. No because y’all are overly semantical and picky. Like it’s obnoxious. Anyway. Deleted. I’ll go find some legal advice sub Reddit to ask other people. Maybe they’ll send me to a math sub Reddit, or a specific cash only work place Reddit lol. Annoying.

  5. She says she is doing the majority, but is it true? She also says she is working 12+ hours a day, so when is she able to do all these chores between the commute? I assume that he is doing daily chores such as cooking and laundry, but not enough to take care of everything. I think it is more likely that OP is jealous that her husband makes so much money and gets time to chill while she has to bust ass and barely makes anything.

  6. Just because you're her backup plan doesn't mean you won't mean everything to someone else. Hang in there and know you're worth knowing and loving and it's her loss

  7. You gotta lube, relax, and go slow, a warm bath before can help relax. Go in an inch at a time and let her get used to that before she signals you to go in more. Repeat until it's pound town.

    I'm 6.5 and my girl and I would do this often. A little alcohol helps relax, too.

  8. I understand the suspicion but he sends me a lot of audio messages of him dirty talking, and if I asked for one he would send it instantly so long as he’s home from work, so I don’t actually think there is anything to be suspicious of. He seems to be incredibly honest. His only excuses are tired, going to bed, not fully in the mood to. It’s just so out of character for him to not respond to my message right now when I bring this up

  9. Is it because my needs are too high?

    I was able to compromise on other things where we conflicted, but for some reason, I just can’t on this.. or I haven’t found something that has worked yet.

    I’ve tried for the last few months to make myself care less, spend nearly every moment of my time doing something else, made more friends that I have in my life time and yet at the end of the day I just wish we would spend more than once a week together or I wish he WANTED to at least. I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much and I wish it didn’t.

  10. Honestly you should move on. What happened happened, yes, but it seems she's kinda ashamed or she doesn't feel good about it right now, and apparently she doesn't want to date again. So as hard as it is, you should move on.

  11. Hello /u/wh0lef00dswhore,

    Your post was removed for the following reason(s):

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  12. Hello /u/BuraianJ86,

    Your post was removed for the following reason(s):

    Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly

    Posts must:

    include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and

    request advice in real situations involving two or more people

    We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:

    [##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:

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  13. Ew babe no. It’s the fact that a 21 year old man looked at a 13 year old and said “yeah I want that.” Every thing he has ever done or said has been what is called grooming.

    Run now.

  14. So you went out, slept on a same bed with someone, held hands and cuddled.

    How would you feel if your bf did the same and didn't tell you?

  15. His trying to figure out if he can start dating the holiday romance girl and if he thinks he has a chance with her then he will dump you, if she doesn't want to date him he will stay with you. How would you feel in that situation?

    My opinion is you should break up with him.

  16. Recovering from neck surgery and he’s watching porn for entertainment 😭😭 I’m sorry whaaaat?

    I once caught my bf watching porn and wanking off in the living room when I got out our bedroom and I literally left the apartment cause I felt so grossed out weird and my self confidence dropped.

    But honestly communication is really the only thing you can about this

  17. That’s great, but if your partner is terrified of that it’s probably not a good idea. That was my entire point. And for some reason some ppl don’t seem to care about their partners needs and do it anyway. It can also be extremely manipulative to put someone on the spot like that and that’s why there’s entire compilation videos of public proposal fails.

  18. What are they supposed to do with adults? An intervention? It’s there’s to handle. It’s fairly common with twins. I think this is part of your issue, you’re a little too focused on them, and not enough on your own things. You can make your own choices, but you can’t make them for others. Make your own choice on what realistic relationship you want with them, and keep moving. Stop trying to change things you can’t change.

  19. Try to understand her perspective more- she was in pain and you didn’t check she was ok, you instead masturbated

    Explain to her that all the blood was not in your head but in your little guy at that moment and you were not thinking straight, it was almost like a knee jerk, automatic reaction because you were right on the edge

  20. Not sure if this is the case but it was for me….

    We are raised in a society that really steers people towards the checklist life…get your degree, get a good job, get married, buy a house, have some kids….

    I don’t think many people really dig in and examine what all of that means emotionally, financially, physically, time wise. And once it’s actually staring them in the face? They actually spend some time in careful consideration and start questioning things. “Is this what I actually want or something I just assumed I would do at some point because it’s on the checklist?”

    I (44F) always figured I’d have kids at some point. But as I got closer to that being an actual possibility and really put thought into it? I decided that wasn’t for me. I love my nieces and nephews. Love my step kids. But to be the kind of parent I wanted to be, I’d have to stop my hobbies, change jobs, lose out on lifetime earnings, do most of the work, have risks and changes to my body….I just didn’t want that.

    I personally would not recommend buying joint property when not married either. It can become such a cluster.

    If having kids is important to you, I wouldn’t waste any more time with him as the clock is ticking.

    Kids just aren’t something you can compromise on. I have several friends (male and female) who were coerced into having kids by their partner. In all cases, they love their kids and are good parents but they don’t enjoy it. And they divorced with a lot of resentment.

    Maybe this is a convo you two should navigate with a couples counselor?

  21. This 100%^ And they’re literally sharing a bed….. Do your parents know that? I would tell them and see how they react. That should tell you how a normal couple views this situation.

  22. I hate valentines. You have to pay over the odds for a terrible meal, buy nasty flowers and/or chocolates, not because you want to but because if you don’t then your wife/girlfriend will get upset that you didn’t celebrate this day of commercial romance. It’s a holiday that should be killed for being the emotionally dead exploitation that it is.

  23. Tell her your concerns with your mental health and the impact you feel.

    It may help to convince her.

    Or you have a future plan, if not.

  24. No, they don't make blockbusters. That's not the point. Yes, they are conservative and don't have a problem with plotlines where in-laws get married. That's the point. They are popular among their viewers. Their viewers eat these movies up and with cancel culture the way it is, that should tell you that people are not going to care about OP's dad dating their MIL.

  25. I think you and Sami should load up a car and get out of there. You deserve to be happy. These men you've found ain't it.

  26. I think you and Sami should load up a car and get out of there. You deserve to be happy. These men you've found ain't it.

  27. I think you and Sami should load up a car and get out of there. You deserve to be happy. These men you've found ain't it.

  28. Yeah boy was watching too much porn and thought that's pretty hard then after he tried it all he remembers is he just let 4 randoms rail his wife

    Yeh this couple is done

  29. I definitely agree about the acting out

    Thanks for your comments I appreciate the candid advice

  30. He should feel bad for doing something you have already made clear to him that you find upsetting. Unless he has a concussion, he has no excuse for this. His reaction of being angry is also very telling to me, it's telling me nothing good!

    I do not share food. It's a hard boundary and if someone started taking food I was eating after I have expressed this sentiment, it would be the last they ever saw of me.

  31. Well it sounds like your husband is attracted to young girls barely out of their teens like you were when you started dating. I am 34 and the thought of dating someone 14yrs younger than me is pretty gross. You don't sound overweight or unhealthy and your BMI supports this. It sounds like your body has grown into a woman's body. People who like barley out of their teens girls do not like grown women they want barely legal teenager. Good news is you are actually still young enough to enjoy your life and get a better husband

  32. You're young. You may want to take some time to focus on yourself as you become successful in your career.

  33. I'm sorry man, but she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore. For relationships to work both people must be willing, and she's not.

    Break ups happen. It's gonna suck, but you will have to endure. Maybe try distracting yourself with friends and hobbies.

    Ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who doesn't actually want to be with you?

  34. Yeah probably haha. But I can’t help but look back at conversations we’ve had and not help but notice like questions or hints that she may be looking for something more

  35. If she really believes in what she says.. then get a job that pays slightly less than hers, this way she will have to take care of all the bills and you simply pay your half of the rent 😂

  36. No, no, no that's weird no matter how you try and frame it, just in case grooming didn't immediately jump to the front of the line of reasons that might be seen as ok.

    As a man of 37 years of age who's trying to have kids of his own who sleeps in the buff, the idea of having kids in the bed in itself is weird. Even if I let the kids do it, there is certainly an age limit that shit would be acceptable. I refuse to believe any well adjusted adult wouldn't see that shit as strange.

  37. Just to let everyone know i haven’t said a word to my boyfriend about his finances. Haven’t said anything about what he should do with regards to moving. Haven’t meddled in ANYTHINg. I haven’t even told him half of this stuff that i wrote on this post.

  38. Thank you so much , I try to take a walk or play some video games to help my depression but it’s just not working . I literally shed tears while typing this post

  39. I’m not saying YOU are crazy, I’m saying people who aren’t you don’t know who is or is not crazy until they go crazy

  40. What you’re going through is more common than you think. Lots of couples have similar issues with libido.

    Shame, pressure, and a a feeling of obligation are all libido destroyers. I’m sure that the pressure your bf is feeling is making him anxious about the whole situation. At the same time, I also understand your frustration about not being able to have sex.

    My advice would be to approach your bf with genuine patience and support. Make him feel super loved and practice physical affection that isn’t sex. After a while of this, you two will feel relaxed and comfortable enough to approach new ways of being intimate with each other.

  41. Two people broke up. Was he the problem? Was she the problem? Were they just not a great fit?

    Stop thinking about him! If you can't, therapy might make sense.

  42. Two people broke up. Was he the problem? Was she the problem? Were they just not a great fit?

    Stop thinking about him! If you can't, therapy might make sense.

  43. Most of our family invites were word of mouth, hey so and so is getting married and invited you. Big family (to put into context I have 57 first cousins on one side) and close knit. Big formal it was plus one.

    Formal invites from like his friends I was invited as a plus one too. I never thought to take offense to it but again, different time, this was even before MySpace.

  44. He’s a man. On the flip side my mom’s cousin was hitchhiking with her daughter and they were found beaten and by the side of the road.

  45. why do some women just ignore what people say and do, then try to write their own narrative instead of simply just accepting what someone does as the reality?

    why ask generalized questions of males, when you are specifically talking about your guy? how about r/askmen since you really aren't asking for advice, you are just trying to generalize something.

  46. i'm not sure i'd trust the bf either as sad as it sounds :/ saying his stepfather is a better man is kinda bonkers but idk i'm biased cos i don't like apologists or people who can't think freely

  47. Well, you're probably leaving that congregation? So you won't be seeing those people much. Take adult ed classes, sports leagues, hobbies, etc. Move away from those people. Maybe when asked, say that what you see in the pastor is not what I saw in the home. Then tilt your head. Leave it at that.

  48. Honestly. If you’re a good guy, you have nothing to worry about. There are plenty of girls in the chat that was like “we went out but no chemistry, nice dude though” or something like that.

    It’s only creepy if you have something to hide.

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