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Jaki, 22 y.o.
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Date: October 9, 2022
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You cant nor should you try to change her beliefs, she is entitled to them just as you are entitled to yours
You can either respect her wishes or break up cuz of compatibility issues
Ask yourself and her the following questions and if you cant agree on them, you both need to move on
Are you ok with waiting to get married for a few more years because you guys are too young right now and thus not having any sex till then?
Do you want children? If so did you have an idea for your future like do you want to start trying for them at 25/30/35?
The calendar method is indeed not nearly as reliable as actual birthcontrol
What about how many children you see in your future, is she against vasectomies aswell? Would that mean you could go penetrative sexless for years during your marriage?
How does she feel about other sex acts (once married) but no penetration? Or does she feel like sex can only ever be for procreation and not simply fun
For the record I disagree with her ideas around sex, sexual compatibility with or without religion is important, sexuality in itself is important, so i find her ideas silly at best, but she is entitled to them, just as you are entitled to yours
Neither should try to change the other
I appreciate that you want more for him. Did you tell him that? Or did you just say hurtful things? Not judging because at your age I could absolutely hear myself. Unless you know his finances and know that they can retire financially secure, be careful how you judge him. There are a lot of costs to ageing and retiring. He may feel he also needs to be able to continue to support his grown family. I don't know him. But, it's okay to let him know that you're time has value too. The brakes? That's on him and don't feel guilty. I just wouldn't be so angry that I stopped talking to him over that.
It’s very much like sexting. Like “I stroke your breasts, and pull down your pants, what kind of underwear do you have on?” Bot: “My underwear is pink and silky. I blush harder.” That kind of thing.
Why did you post this if you didn’t want feedback? You are rationalizing and arguing your points over and over, unwilling to hear the feedback you are getting.