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Karina, 21 y.o.
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Date: September 26, 2022
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No, but you also don't get to demonize him for not being able to travel to meet you face-to-face in his very busy life.
If you are not ok with him not making time for you in the way you want, you are allowed to end the friendship, as you did. But it doesn't make him a bad guy.
I don’t want to do anything with this dude. I might have a crush on him but he’s definitely not worth it and I can’t even see myself dating him.
I think what I’m trying to figure out is if my relationship is worth saving since without realizing I am developing a crush on some random dude
It’s probably a violation of his parole or probation for him to be around your nieces, or any minor child.
Your post history shows us exactly what type of grooming, cheating, disgusting person you are…
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Thank you, I will forgive myself. I am way too very hot on myself. Time to move forward.
She just told you that she believes she can do better than you. There is only one thing to do – set her free to find her better option, don't be some convenient place holder while she looks.
Heres what you do – you tell her: 100 percent of you wanted a committed relationship with her, but you sadly didn't have all the facts when you thought that. Now you do and you are 100 percent sure that she is not the one for you. Since she would like to keep her options open – you would too, but 100 percent open.
Then you dump her and move on. There are plenty of other women out there, no need to waste your time and keep one who isn't that into you and is waiting for a bigger fish to swim past that she can latch onto.
Yeah, I feel this way too. Honestly it already shows that I went all the way to Reddit with a new account to ask for advice or just get it off my chest
Your dad is in the wrong here. He insulted your husband. He did apologize after, but is still holding some kind of a grudge.
Don't leave your husband alone on Christmas. You should talk to your dad.
Don’t think so
Others have expounded on the gravity of your wrongdoing so I won't go into that. To attempt to save your marriage: 1. Make a complete and honest confession. 2. Try to remedy the harm you caused. Call the person you gave the stolen jewelry to and confess to her and BEG to get the jewelry back.
If she won't give it back offer to buy the jewelry back. If she won't sell, pay your stepdaughter for the value of the jewelry. If you can't afford to buy the jewelry back (or reimburse your stepdaughter), sell the valuable things you own, including your own wedding jewelry to raise the money. If that isn't enough, get a job, or second job to slowly repay the loss.
Exactly. Couldnt agree more. That’s part of my devastation. No fixing it ever?
I knew about her boyfriend since we first met. She agreed not to have affairs with other guys and she is doing that. I quite frankly don't understand what you mean…
i said before inflation and the world changing. so 80s-2010s most people still moved out after 18.
Saying it’s temporary isn’t a fix though. Telling her “wait until our future is stable for me to show you I love you” isn’t exactly a solution. You’re telling her to push aside her feelings indefinitely. There’s plenty of ways to work on your career and financials while making your partner feel loved. Look at anybody in their 20s in a happy relationship
Don't be rude please
In addition to lying he didn't offer to go no contact with her. That's evidence they are more than just friends. Doesn't matter if they are currently having .
He chose her over you. You deserve better. Just ghost and block this guy. He is not fully committed to you.
Thank you for your response.
It sounds like he’s trying to get you to break up with him by acting like a dick.
Why do you continue to be in a relationship with someone who not only cheated once, but cheated multiple times? And, to top that off, is continuing his dodgy behavior.
I'm bi, so I understand that once you hit 30, you're approaching your shelf-life in terms of marketability as a gay man. It's a twisted reality in such a youth-obsessed subculture, but it's reality nonetheless. Dating will not get any easier. Do you want to waste any more years of your best years with this guy?
Cut it off dude. Find someone who will respect you. You'll thank yourself later.
Is there anything I could have done to have made things work? I think about this a lot, as it was so wonderful when he met me, then it all changed and got awful.
Should have thought about that before fucking raw. Sorry, dude. You’re a dad now. Time to nut up.
Why are you listening to his ignorant opinion? I'm betting you are far more intelligent than he is. He's suffering from dunning kruger.
The sheer volume of men I see on Reddit day in, day out who all tell each other every woman will baby trap you, we all lie about who the father is, and we all hate men but want their money is ASTRONOMICAL. I’m so grateful some women are able to say “fuck you” and walk away.
I guess I always interpreted baby trapping as being reproductive coercion with the specific purpose of keeping the other person in the relationship and/or getting eventual child support.
He has has the option of being with you this whole time. He works from home. And he can go with you on this wonderful opportunity for you. He just doesn't want to. Please take the overseas job.
Lol… she is leaving this relationship thinking I'm a lying asshole just like every other man on this planet.
Call the police and have him removed
You can tell her at the end of the semester about how she's helped you and made you believe in yourself more and work towards a better grade
What the fuck does this have to do with sex trafficking and these parlors? Nothing! And OP already explained that it happened so fast, and was about 20 seconds for something he DID not ask for in the first place. I can see some one being stunned. And boy would all those businesses that run racketeering love someone just like you for a customer. By your logic, it’s okay for services you did not ask for be provided and you expected to pay for what you did not want in the first place.
You need to drop him like a very hot potato.
He sounds like a hypochondriac, complaining about illnesses, but won't go to the doctor (because they will tell him he is fine).
He gaslights you, a lot.
He doesn't offer any emotional support, but wants it.
He is likely cheating on you.
he was trapped in this relationship.
This is a common ploy cheaters use to explain why they are looking outside the relationship for “love”.
You are too young to stay with someone who treats you badly. You're relationship is one-sided.
I would be telling everyone in that family if he shows up in a clown suit the wedding will be called off! This is the hill I will die on! You should make your stand now or online the rest of your life with the crap! He wants to make a joke out of your wedding and your SO and the rest of their family think it is funny so the laugh will be on them! They can pay for a wedding that will not take place!! Call their bluff! If you are in the middle of your vows and shows up just stop tell everyone there you warned them that the wedding would be called off because they refused to respect you on your wedding day and then leave!
Honestly, I would feel horrible destroying something that is technically a part of me now.
Imagine saying this about a brain tumor. This pregnancy is potentially quite dangerous for her at this point in time.
Is it possible it’s not really his step sister?
If she was your age, would there be other real bigger concerns?
Honestly, you mentioned an intimate moment but then, that was it? You realised something might be there after an intimate moment? I mean we’re not asking for details, but surely for an intimate moment to happen you both had to feel something right?
Is this long distance thing a problem? Can you confirm she’s not seeing someone else? You say you both moved away…but is this temporary, and from where? What are both your future plans. Any conflicting goals?
And also, it really really depends on an individual’s outlook to see if they’re compatible, I’ve seen age gaps like this work. Heck you can ask around the world and you know that there have definitely been people who had a similar (or exact. The world is really big) age gap that had their relationship work out. Age is not the factor. But yes you’ve said
‘Way farther into life’ Sure. By ten years.
‘At a different stage’ Does she understand this viewpoint the same way as you do?
And you yourself, what ‘stage’ are you at and how is it different from hers, and how soon will you get into that ‘stage’ you think is compatible with hers?
Send her home in an uber. She doesn't need to spend the night.
If this is real then he is a Neanderthal. He is not an evolved human being. He’s a lower form of life. Dump his ass.
I don't feel like my reaction is that overblown. I said that i feel a bit dissapointed, but it's not like I made a scene or cried about it.
You don't need to be dating to recieve/give a flower on women's day here, so my guess is just that he does not celebrate it. I will ask him how he thinks about other holidays, but I guess I just didn't expect it and was caught a bit off guard.
A thing that may have also contributed to my reaction was my roommates response when I said I did not get a flower (she asked if he gave me one). She basically called him an asshole, and I feel like a lot of girls would make an even bigger deal out of it.
OMG that and moving fucking pictures around every other week. It does get better though and not worth causing a stink over.
Are references not a thing where you are? Surely he needed to wait for a reference from current employers to be requested and received by the potential new employer before a formal offer of the job is provided? I've always known the first offers mention “dependent on references”. It's why we don't all leave our jobs in this fashion, as satisfying as it would be!
I'm getting a low empathy/no empathy vibe and that is not good. If this is what he does in front of an office full of workers, I'd worry about setting him off. OPs SO is like a car with no brakes, and has no self awareness. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
He needs to sort his shit out. It's terrible he comes from a bad home life, but a lot of us do. It doesn't justify him causing you a bad home life.
I probably should thats what everyone else is saying too lol fuck me runnin
It has nothing to do with how attracted he is to you. It has everything to do with how little he respects you.
What is the task?
Pity is not something to strive for in a relationship.
He is pathetic, and his life after you is not your problem.
Guilt is not a fair trade for a shitty relationship that gives you nothing.
Why are you wasting your life with this man who is incapable of basic humaning? If you stay you will spend your life cleaning and putting up with someone who stinks, wave goodbye to any sex life you might want, and any social events. Our it into context my 10 & 8 year olds wash every morning and baths every other day, they brush their teeth twice a day with no reminders,they scrape their food waste into the bin, they pick up their plates, they are CHILDREN and more capable than he is. Send him back to his parents and move on. You deserve better
What are the reasons why you would stay in the situation? I can’t see one reason to stay with this guy he’s abusive and horrible.
Girl it’s fine you know you, you know the truth and you know your not sleeping with him!! Your mother obviously don’t like your father which is why she’s making this up… which is weird because I don’t know why she’d project that onto her own daughter.. but never the less you know your not with him. You need to have a conversation with your mother and tell her how this is making you feel. And you need to ask your father about his weird questionable behavior
Yes that is the heaviest on my heart. If I only stayed for them- what if that resulted in any ptsd or abuse of them in the future? If there is any thought in my mind that it could happen that way- that should be a non-negotiable. I want them to see what it is to be in a healthy relationship in the future, and have one with their parents. I can’t control him or his actions, but I can be that mother for them that will not stand for any type of disrespect (from a partner) towards me or my children- and make the choices to control what I can do- so there is no possibility of it happening to them because of a choice I made. Which- if that did ever happen- I would blame myself..and that would be a horrible thing to go through. Even worse than what I’m going through now. I will never let that happen, because my kids are the most important thing to me. And I know what they deserve. I try to pretend I know what I deserve but… I’m by no means perfect and I can’t expect anyone to respect me. But children have the right to expect to be loved and respected and cherished. I will always be that for them and protect them at all costs.
Just feeling like this new perspective is giving me comfort. Kind of having an epiphany. The answer should be so simple.
But my questions still linger… -Can someone really change? -And are there men that I could potentially feel truly emotionally safe with? (trust, vulnerable, not judged, respected, listened to, and feel love.) . . . Because someone can tell you they love you, and you can know someone loves you- without feeling loved. And I do believe the feeling the love part is immensely important to me and what I want in a relationship!