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Hi guys, welcome to my room, make me wet with my lush! ?? [GOAL MET]
Date: October 23, 2022
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You say you don’t believe in opposite-sex friendships, yet you’re looking to him to be your friend when you need a shoulder? How exactly does that work?
I know that your intuition told you it was a red flag but sometimes we choose to drink the cool aid. Please keep in mind that when a guy or anyone tries to fast track things it’s always a bad sign. It means that they want to bypass very important milestones and acts of discovery. This always puts you at a disadvantage because you end up in a situation where you really know little about the other.
Another rule of thumb to steer you well in life is that it takes approximately 2 years to really get to know someone. Most people can’t put on an act longer than this time. I know it’s really exciting to throw caution to the wind, but things that start too fast usually end just as quickly. So if you are after a proper relationship always run when you meet a love bomber.
You obvious haven’t moved on. It’s always difficult when someone breaks up and the other isn’t ready/prepared/doesn’t want it.
The problem is you can’t force someone to stay in touch or in your life. She is really done with you and it sucks because you don’t feel te same. You have not closure. It could be because this is your first relationship and you don’t know how to deal with it. To be fair some people never learn how to deal with it.
It’s probably better for you to have no contact, because it’s harder to get closure if you stay in touch. Being friends with an ex is difficult and usually needs a cool-off period. Most of the time it doesn’t work to stay (close)friends, I know I haven’t ever managed.
write a letter to your ex. Don’t send it, but write it as if. Put your feelings on paper, what are you feeling? Are you mad? Do you feel abandoned? Be honest, you’re not going to send her the letter so you don’t have to hold back. This is about being honest to yourself.
Figure out why you have issues letting this go. Maybe it came out of nowhere? It took you by surprise? She never said anything?
Then take a day to mourn the relationship. It’s over, you’re allowed to cry over what you lost. Maybe go to the beach, or the mountains to walk and go over it in your head. Close it off deleting her number and her texts. You don’t need to hold on to this. It will keep you attached. Maybe burn one picture of something, sometimes it can help it you do something symbolic.
After this you need to accept the fact that it’s over and she doesn’t want to stay friends. Learn you have no control over other people and how they deal with you. You only have control over yourself and how you will react to things.
I don’t know why I can’t just pack up and leave.
Yes, you do. You know deep down. Answer that question, even if it takes some journaling to get to the answer. That answer is what is holding you back.
It could be a fear of starting over or of being alone, or that you don't believe you deserve better, etc.
But ask yourself if this was your best friend in your situation, what would you want her to do?
I know it's hot. But leaving is the hardest part. After that, you get to learn to love yourself again, and you get to heal, and you get to rebuild your life with people who love and value you.
I know it's hard, but you're strong. You can do this ❤️
Agreed! Unfortunately, it sounds like they on-line together, so she probably doesn’t want to acknowledge it. I’d be finding a roommate and pack up.
Yeah but it’s still a old, commonly used excuse for when guys don’t want to do it. And that’s what the person is calling out. And it’s valid for them to call it out even if it wasn’t THE reason.