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Mamalovescum, y.o.
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Date: October 30, 2022
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That is sexual assault! You need to restrict your relationship with this person to what is needed for parenting purposes. Also make a police report. I doubt they can or would do anything about it but it starts a file on the grub.
She lost respect for you. You did too much for her, then you couldn't handle what she was doing. It didn't register to her that you're working longer hours, your pre-trouble home duties, and hers too. You getting emotionally confrontational triggered emotions in her, which she then translated into reasons to look down on you.
Her accusing you of controlling and stalkerish behavior is either you not describing your behavior fully, or a major red flag. If I assume you're fully disclosing everything, she complained to her friends, who supported her fully and possibly gave her some more ideas. Never underestimate shallow echo chambers female friends provide. That may have been followed by her getting support and attention from males, giving her reason to amplify her contempt with defensiveness over guilt.
If you were to salvage this, which I doubt you can, I'd talk to a counselor solo. I'd ask about how to best go about giving her back the duties she'd stopped doing, and setting expectations for her now that she's better. If you can get her to go after that, do it. I doubt you can do it, but you need to become a respected partner in her eyes again, not just a sad excuse for a manservant.
I'd also find the best divorce lawyer you can find and get a consultation. Not to necessarily start the divorce now, but to ensure that the lawyer won't be taken by her, and so that you can make a plan for the best possible divorce when she divorces you. A large portion of the divorce case is in the preparation prior to, and you don't want to be served the papers after she's had ample time to prepare and you've done nothing.