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Date: October 10, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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She is learning about how her husband can behave affectionately through her cat and now realizes he doesn't show her affection. It means he can but chooses not to.
Dude, almost everyone watches porn and masturbates. Yes an addiction to it is bad, but he just sounds like a normal dude watching porn. I've known multiple people who have tried to prohibit their partner from watching porn and its always toxic af. And you selling feet pics and flirting with internet strangers, but not allowing him to watch porn is crazy. You gotta figure some of your shit out, because that is a horrible double standard. You will never be happy in a relationship if you try to control someone like that. Yes, he should have been straight up with you, but you definitely didn't put that guy in a situation where he felt comfortable telling you the truth. Good luck dude, you should really try and spend some time reflecting on why that really bothers you.
Dude, almost everyone watches porn and masturbates. Yes an addiction to it is bad, but he just sounds like a normal dude watching porn. I've known multiple people who have tried to prohibit their partner from watching porn and its always toxic af. And you selling feet pics and flirting with internet strangers, but not allowing him to watch porn is crazy. You gotta figure some of your shit out, because that is a horrible double standard. You will never be happy in a relationship if you try to control someone like that. Yes, he should have been straight up with you, but you definitely didn't put that guy in a situation where he felt comfortable telling you the truth. Good luck dude, you should really try and spend some time reflecting on why that really bothers you.
Definitely try to cross check this information but alcohol can also cause paranoia especially in younger people. Stay safe !
Couples therapy?
“He explained she is going to be moving out and that I will be moving in”. How is this acceptable to you OP? He is cheating on his girlfriend with you and probably cheated on his baby mama with the current girlfriend. Find someone your own age.
You’re clearly ablest. So just leave her so she can find someone worthy of her time. It’s that simple
Im deeply happy for you. Now you two can move on together.
Last Time to see him? Well…then….so be it.
That matter of seeing him again is #33 on the list of the
“”Five Most Important Things to Give a Fuck About”.
Your priority needs to be You and Your Grieving for the next 6 months
to a year. Find a place to sooth your Soul and to make a Life for yourself
in the absence of the one you lost. Thoughts and Prayers go with you.
so are you waiting for them to actually cheat before you talk to her about it? like it’s kinda worrying for your relationship if you feel like you can’t bring this up to her just because there’s nothing 100% indefensible. your relationship isn’t a legal proceeding; if you feel uncomfortable with their interactions, you should feel comfortable to bring that up because it’s bothering you and that alone should be enough to make her care.
How dare you find out that he is cheating? You were supposed to be surprised when he suddenly broke things off. Better yet, you could have been peacefully oblivious when he was out having double fun. The audacity. He isn’t upset you snooped, he is upset he’s been found out. It’s time to move on, op.
Dunno what information only she could have that you need so desperately but don't know. But she has no obligation to ever talk to you again or to anyone else for you. Especially after you bad mouth her.
Well, eventually it will catch up to her. It could be attention seeking behavior and it seems to fit that she likes to evoke a reaction because that is at least attention.
Not much you can do except tell her that when it comes to you, you find the constant potty mouth stuff a turnoff, not amusing and kinda repulsive. That may egg her on, but you can at least express a boundary that you don't like that language and would prefer she not use it around you.
Sooner or later an employer or a co-worker or even a stranger is going to call her out on it.
Ironically, some women adopt this lewd personality because they feel they are going to get harassed anyway, so might as well head it off.
Try talking to her about how she talks to you. If she refuses, this is probably a function of her personality.
Trying to shift your attitude might be helpful. Instead of looking at this as losing your “rock” try to consider it an opportunity to prove to yourself that you're not the feeble basket case you're making yourself out to be. If you can't even afford the much cheaper online therapy option maybe look into some support sites where people talk to each other and try to cope that way. Three months isn't that long to be apart, but you also don't want to go back to your home country only to fall into the same pattern of relying this heavily on a non marital partner who could leave you at the drop of a hat. Make your goal to get strong enough that your partner is a nice addition to your life rather than your whole entire life.
A few questions for clarification:
Was he your friend first and met her when you two started dating, or the other way around? In other words, were they friends before you met her? Could they have had a fling previously?
What was the occassion for the gift? Was it a birthday party and many people gave her gifts, or..?
In any event, I would find it super weird if one of my buddies gave my wife a swimsuit, and even weirder if one of her pre-existing male friends gave her one… It's an odd gift.
>Wife swears she has never cheated, though she still keeps in contact with a am ale friend she had sex with ages ago
No problem with that, unless there's other things happening…
>) though, recently I found she was hiding the fact that they talk from me in order to not cause conflict
What odes “they talk from me” means? Were they chatting and you didn't know? That shouldn't matter.
> we spoke when she had “breaks” but we were also on a 3 hour time difference so not saying we had a chance to communicate all the time.
Like, break from work? Or a break from the relationship?
>Now, When she gets back home she insists on unpacking her clothes herself. Next day I come home, I find a pair of her panties under the bed with a hole in the crotch, weird (but we have a dog) so I assume the dog ate the crotch. Granted it’s very weird the dog would eat the crotch when this NEVER happened before, only after a solo trip.
So is this like a pair of panties that is designed to be a hole in the crotch, or was it cut, or was it ripped?
I'm sorry, but this post is very badly written 🙁 My opinion:
Communicate in English. Ask her if she's cheating or being unfaithful. Watch her body language. Do you trust her after the conversation? If no, break up.
Why are you with someone who doesn't trust you? Nothing you'll say or do make him change his mind about it.
Maybe get a life and don't be so desperate? If he's still living with her there's a chance they might be together and you might be the thing to disrupt that.
Stop talking to him, talk to someone else and then if he comes back fully single and with his own place talking to you, then say 'i used to get off to your pics' to fuel the spark then, but for now it's not a good look jumping on that train and it looks pretty desperate and lonely. Work on yourself, become who you want to be, and then find who you want to find, who isn't in an entanglement.
Either way he is in an entanglement and you are just not needed there and low-key pretty immoral for you to be there.
Don’t marry a cheater is probably one of the most important things you should do for yourself.
This paragraph is very telling. Women are different from men. In the majority of cases, if a women brings up divorce or separation, it means she's already checked out of the relationship emotionally months ago
Hundred percent. Men don't hear this until the woman has already spent months feathering her new nest, plotting with an attorney, recruiting friends and family for her side, etc. She checked out and started planning ages ago.
“Women never do anything without a plan, son” – my dad
From the very bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself and leave this girl alone you self absorbed entitled abusive prick.
So are you leaving him or what
Exactly. You need someone who accepts your flaws. This girl is already looking down on you for something that’s not even a flaw. This false balance of power will only cause her to eventually resent you and hate you whenever the truly challenging things come along:
Also this girl is delusional. My wife is a doctor and she acknowledges just how lucky her profession is that she’s able to make that much money. we recognize just how lucky we are. Your girlfriend seems to have none of that. She is a mess in the making and that type of personality fosters all sorts of issues.
Yep. Date people around your own age and don’t have kids with people you haven’t even been dating a year.
He also has a kid.
I think this would be the only thing I'd talk to your sis about. So she loves this man, he loves her…they most likely are actively planning to close the gap.
How will this work with him having a child? Is the bio mum still in the picture? Does he have full- or shared custody? Have they got two good lawyers to protect them both and the kid in case things ever turn sour? If they break up after him moving over on a K1/C1 visa, would she also be financially responsible for his child if he's able to bring them to the US as well?
How old is the child? Do they think they'll adapt to the US easily?
Seems like a mis-matched relationship to me. No offense (and I really mean that cause I’m this way) but you seem to have insecure attachment – as I said so do I, it usually stems from being raised by insecure and/or inconsistent parent(s). Your bf also seems insecure and inconsistent, as he’s texting other women for validation and not consistently there for you when you need him.
All this being said – not saying there’s anything wrong with you – just saying it’s a mis-match. I’m now with someone completely secure (doesn’t need validation from anyone and is consistently there for me I.e. almost always responds to texts quickly). I think a better match for you would be someone like this – that way there’s zero trust issues, and you feel fulfilled and loved. Keep looking for your perfect match! It’s really worth the search and wait. Best of luck.
girl it’s not the porn. he’s crossed a dozen and a half boundaries with you. dick is free and abundant, he is just not the guy for you.
“I believe love trancends finances” -Says the person benefitting from an unequal distribution of labor and finances off the back of his ill girl friend.. lol. Please stop, I can only cringe so very hot before I explode.
First of all he needs to get off your daughter's case. Sounds like you two are needing some couples counselling. Is he possibly acting like this because he thinks you also have one foot out the door?
That wasn't her being comfortable in a relationship, that was meant for someone else.
To be blunt, you sound paranoid. Without any very hot evidence you can't really assume he's cheating just for liking a post on Instagram.
Fighting is actually healthier if it's not a big blown up ego filled drama fest. It's essential to our human growth and how we maintain relationships. It shows we're comfortable enough to voice our opinions without fear of being left, hit, mocked. If y'all never fight, it's honestly because someone doesn't care. You only fight because y'all care. I mean, think of a time you didn't agree with something, even like dinner or something. Anytime you had a difference, did y'all discuss it or anything? Or did one of y'all just say, whatever? Being in love blinds us to lots of things. Reflect on those times, you'll understand what went down better.
Well we don't know that do we. She might have been cheating on him then broke up because dates were clashing.