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ALL GOALS MET [Multi Goal]
Date: December 15, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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Sorry, but, you need to end this. If after nearly a year together you still don’t want to on-line together, don’t know if you want it to be long term, and don’t want to be a factor in her future plans, then you more than likely don’t have a future together. There’s really no way for you to tell her you don’t want to be a part of this conversation/decision and not have her then ask what kind of potential you see for this relationship, which it doesn’t really sound like you see much of any.
I also don’t see how you plan to continue this anyway if you flatly don’t have an interest in a ldr and she absolutely will be moving because her specialty doesn’t offer a residency in your area. That’s just what it is. And as someone who’s in a ldr and has been for 2 years now, I can tell you that you definitely do not want to go into it with any hesitation. You need to be absolutely sure it’s what you want and that the person is who you want to have a shot, keeping relationships alive under those circumstances is really hard.
People are more than capable of changing, especially for the people they love.
So then by your own account he doesn't love you because he refuses to change.
Thanks friend, I appreciate that
Sweetie, he’s fucking with you. He’s dangling this carrot of marriage in front of you, then threatening to take it away to make you want it desperately. This breaks you down then he can abuse or use you however he wants.
Please leave him.
I doubt it's an automatic setting, I met my bf on a dating app as well. It was a while ago but I remember it being one of the steps when you sign up. Maybe that's different now?
You are incompatible with him. Explain everything and break up, he will in time get over you. You are also finding every fault of his as an excuse which makes me wonder. Break up and set him free so that he doesn't waste anymore time and energy into you.
Does she have a pain killer addiction? She certainly has all the classic signs. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Revenge porn is when people share around their ex’s nudes etc, typically after a break up. That’s unforgivable.
I’m not sure if you can move on from this. Only you can figure that out. If you want to try though, therapy can help.
If you have the time, look into “love bombing” and the cycle of abuse; my ex would shower me with praise and tell me I was her “soul mate” and things would be great!… until they weren’t again. As soon as something made her upset, even if it didn’t involve me, she would make it my problem and take it out on me. Then eventually she’d apologize or things would be okay for a bit, and then something would happen and we were back at square one. I’m so sorry you’re in this position, if you need someone to talk to my dms are open!
Drugged him and abused him. The doc found evidence of that too sadly.
until about the 15th of january five or take!
Do you have any experience dating?
You said you met on an app for autistic people. It's she autistic as well?
She certainly seems into you. Making plans to hang out again is a plus. Maybe not a sign of romantic interest but at least you have a friend.
The phrase I use to bridge the gap between hanging out and dating is “I'd like to get to know you more” often used with an invitation to a half-date.
“I've really enjoyed spending time with you over the last couple days. I'd love to get to know you more. Can I take you to dinner this weekend?”
See how that goes. If you feel it goes well, ask her on a proper date. If you think you're not clicking, just keep hanging out.
You can also just ask her what she wants. Just ask if she's looking for a relationship right or just looking for a friend to hang out. Because you enjoy spending time with her and would like to take her on an actual date if she's interested.
Wanting to control what someone thinks about is yeah, kinda crazy. I mean, if he's stalking them, building up a folder of their IG photos to wank to, yeah, that's not okay. But you can never know what is going on inside someone's head. And if your thought is to literally try to stop him from meeting them so that he might not have a sexual thought about them at some point…that's a sigh of super insecurity that you might want to get looked at.
She did try to get professional help but ended up with a bad one that not only didn't help but made things worse. I will be keeping in mind the rest of what you said thank you
I don’t want to stay with friends or my parents and inconvenience them.
No need to lie.
While I agree that OP should dump him, I would 100% take a Brazilian wax over a dance class.. if you hate dancing, the discomfort isn't a physical one based on the tightness of shoes
You were on a break for a year and she slept with over 30 different dudes? That’s a new guy every other week. I don’t know how you could recover from that kind of betrayal especially since you said you both agreed to “act accordingly” as you put it.
When you take out the “please give me advice on my tooth” angle this post is really dumb
It’s literally until Thursday. Just fucking deal with it. You don’t need to be snogging 24/7
And he will do it again.
This guy doesn't love you. He loves what you can give him, or what he can get from you.
150% chance he has used and destroyed relationships with friends and families.
Change all your passwords, lock down your credit, find out if he has stolen your SSN, call the police and file a report. (Then, you have time to decide to have him charged, depending on him giving you a detailed plan on how he will repay you (with guarantees))
OP, IMHO, he will steal from you again. All he needs is a chance. Don't give it to him
This is exactly it. I'm sure he was prepared to say it until OP came back with that line. Can't say it now, so gotta sulk.
If you had no desire to convince me why did you comment at all? If you just ignored me we wouldn't be where we are now. Pull out that strawman because you can't defend your dumb fucking point. Your just a hero protecting women from men because people in their 20s can't manipulate older people?
I'm not advocating for old men to date 18 year olds but to act like someone in their 20 s has no capability to manipulate someone is dumb and demonstrably wrong. You can be against the age gap. That's fine…that's not what you said.
I'm petty. I'd tell him he's projecting and he should uit his job to be a stay at home parent since he's clearly so unhappy. Tell, don't suggest, don't hint, don't theorize, don't accuse, just full-on tell him that these ARE his feelings.
Could not agree more!!
You need to leave him, it is completely disrespectful and he is not getting serious in any meaningful way with you….HE has a possey of naked women.
Now your expensive car …. Well…..?????
I will tell you if noone else has. Gather your proof and give it to a lawyer when filing for divorce. It will provide evidence of why you are leaving him
Clearly youre not his best friend
Oh no. I’ve always wondered but I wanted him to actually say it. That’s part of being an adult
The thing is he didn’t even want to catch up. It was seriously no pressure. So clearly not attracted.
This is common. We are programmed to protect our children. Your daughter is a reminder that you were with someone else before her and once you had children with her she expects that your first allegiance is to the family you are building with her. This is what we get with blended families and what you face when you build a new family without your daughter and her mother. I’m sorry that you are facing this and even more sorry that your wife won’t open up in counseling. Put yourself in her shoes. Empathize. Make sure she understands your commitment to her and your children but tell her she would be disappointed if you were the kind of men that abandoned their children. You won’t do that with your children you had with her, but you won’t abandon your daughter either.
Hey OP, it seems like you've done a lot of self-sacrificing to support your partner. And that is really kind and considerate of you. But it is ok to have and enforce boundaries for your own well-being. A quote a friend used to say to me whenever I complained about an old relationship was,
You can't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
It took me a long time to figure out the implicit conclusion to this saying,
You'll be reduced to ash, and they will still freeze.
You've reached that implicit conclusion; you are burned out. And you're absolutely valid in feeling that way. You've worked your ass off to be there for your husband so he could get better.
But if you do that at your own expense, you can't actually support him the way he needs, and in the way you initially intended. And if you become his crutch, it will be yet another hurdle for him to overcome on his path to recovery.
If you decide you want to make this work, this is what I would suggest:
make sure you're spending time on self-care every day. That could be a naked bath, watching a show or reading a book on your own, playing games, going out with friends, spending extra time on your hair or makeup, playing sports or exercising, doing a hobby you haven't touched in a while, literally anything that makes you feel good.
get into couples counseling. Your husband still needs to do his individual therapy, but this would be a tool to help you both learn how to set and respect boundaries, communicate effectively, be open to your partner's needs and emotions, and support each other in your specific needs.
take some time to identify what you need to make this relationship work. From what you've written, some examples that come to mind are: 1) he makes dinner on the days he doesn't work, 2) when he vents to you, he respects when you say you can't handle hearing any more (because you're not his therapist). That's not to say you don't listen to his problems at all, but maybe limit what kinds of problems he can vent about, what times he can vent, and how much of it you can handle at any given time so you can start to ease your empathy burn-out, 3) work on intimacy. He may not be ready for sex at the levels you desire, but find out what he is comfortable with, and how he can express affection to you that suits your love language without adding to his stress.
if you think you need it, spend some time apart. Go visit a friend or family member in another town and stay a few nights, go to a spa resort, anything you can to just remove yourself for a little while. Refresh yourself, see what life is like without those stressors, and hopefully identify what you want to happen, what you need to happen, and what feasibly can happen. This connects back to the last suggestion.
I hope you find happiness. I hope your husband finds happiness, too. Just remember, that happiness needs to come from within. For both of you.