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Room for live! sex video chat NikkiJadi
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Date: October 7, 2022
I’m not asking for people to do either. I was looking for advice, and people are right. I’ve been blind because he’s my first for everything. I feel like a fucking idiot because I’m smart and always prided myself in being aware of the world. Turns out, I’m a dumb girl.
Some people just need to learn their lesson in the hardest way. Difficult to say they didn’t deserve the misery they get in the end…
Oh. Thats actually a really good idea I hadn't thought of that.
Can you recommend a sub this might be suitable for? Thank you! 🙂
This is the correct answer. All the naivety I see in this thread is ridiculous. ?♀️
that's an extreme. Not saying it CAN'T happen, but too soon to exaggerate things. But his actions certainly reflect an abusive personality, and I've responded to quite a few Domestic Abuse cases…
Exactly, the phrasing is cold. I immediately think, what if everyone else thinks I'm being weird also? Which is a thought I have to fight against myself anyway. He says he does it out of care, that he cares more about me having a good time than anything else.
Or, here's a thought…she wanted to surprise you with some extra stuff?
Never understood the “Keeping up with the Jones” mindset…. sometimes people just found out they have a little more than they thought and decide to get a surprise for their SO to be nice and show they listened/cared enough about them to go that extra little bit because SHOCKER they think it will make their SO happy.
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Wait, is he a good husband? Does he treat you right?
If so, I would say the therapy is doing great for him and he trusted you enough to tell you.
If he hasn’t cheated on you or abused you and you are willing to leave him because he is who he is born as, your the monster.
I would talk to him and voice your issue in a respectful manner.
If you don’t, you’ll continue to resent him and he’ll have no idea why.
It’s a double edged sword but sometimes you need the willpower to do something many won’t to have a chance at something great again.
If you've talked to him this issue and he refuses to make a change or put in any effort to fix the issue, tell him you want marriage counseling.
I'd be tempted to stop him mid sex and tell him he can finish himself off. Petty? Sure. Some people only lear through experience. and at this point what motivation does he have to change? He clearly doesn't care if you feel sexually satisfied. He's getting what he wants, he assumes he'll just keep getting what he wants, he has no reason to change. Sex is something he does to you, he couldn't care less about your experience, your feelings, your fulfilment.
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OP is asking his dad to not contact him, to give him some time to figure out his feelings to know what he wants to say when they talk.
Violating that requests means there’s no point in talking because his behavior says it all. He is telling his son his feelings don’t matter. He his telling him that whatever happens between them has to be on the father’s terms. He’s telling him that he hasn’t changed.
You admitted that you have no experience with an situation like this. It’s not that simple. You love your dad and can’t understand not giving him the chance to talk with you about something. This isn’t about you. Your experience and viewpoint is not the one everyone else has.
Honestly your comments are ignorant and oblivious of the intense emotions that come along with situations like this, which are often tied up with childhood trauma.
Mostly because its a decision that would be unchangeable and I still love him and hope things will get better. I feel like we still have not given it enough of a chance. I left a lot of things behind and I would like to try everything I can before giving up and going back because it would be for good.
He doesnt want to move with me because he wants a break to hopefully catch feelings again.
Gf is attracted to him +enjoys the attention/validation
People may call me an alarmist but how he's acting is exactly how abuse starts
Okay im going to give you advice
never ever ever ever go away with someone and not have funds to get yourself out if need be. Meaning you need to have money to get a hotel room if he kicks you out, transportation if he leaves you stranded. You need money to get food if you need it. The last thing you want is for someone to feel entitled to things from you just because they paid.
Otherwise you put yourself in a vulnerable situation and that is not what you want. You need to protect yourself.
OP, this sounds very reactionary on his part. He was happy with the way things were. When asked, he was not willing to express feelings for you or to give a commitment -after eight weeks of consistent togetherness and sex. This isn’t what you’re looking for, so you expressed your intentions of seeking that elsewhere.
THIS is when he gets upset. He’s not upset bc you’re unhappy, he’s upset bc things are changing and he would very much like to go back to the way things were without giving you any emotional assurances or relationship commitment. That’s reactionary and to me, that shows you’re doing the right thing by moving on. He will only give you just enough to keep you, but his affection doesn’t appear to be spontaneously arrived at.
That just makes no sense. A label is defining the dynamic of your relationship. Sex without love and commitment? “Fuck buddies”. Sex with like or love and commitment? Boyfriend/girlfriend. Sex with commitment for forever? Fiancé/fiancée or husband/wife. If he doesn’t want labels, it means he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend. Next!
i guess i should’ve mentioned that i have had a lot of sexual partners in the past, and while i’m not necessarily proud of it that’s not my issue. i am also physically active and in college, which i know is a great place to meet people but i’ve tried for years trust me. my people isn’t my body, my looks, or being sexually active. i do regularly get female attention, and that’s cool and all but that’s not what i want. i don’t want one night stands or yay situationships. my issue is that i can’t build something real and long term. i don’t wanna sleep with a bunch of random females to feel good about myself, i want to be in a committed relationship with someone who takes me seriously and wants what i want. i want to plan a life with somebody and not only plan it out but to online it with them as well. i’m ready to settle down, fall in love and start a family in the next 3-5 years and it just seems like nobody wants what i want
i guess i should’ve mentioned that i have had a lot of sexual partners in the past, and while i’m not necessarily proud of it that’s not my issue. i am also physically active and in college, which i know is a great place to meet people but i’ve tried for years trust me. my people isn’t my body, my looks, or being sexually active. i do regularly get female attention, and that’s cool and all but that’s not what i want. i don’t want one night stands or yay situationships. my issue is that i can’t build something real and long term. i don’t wanna sleep with a bunch of random females to feel good about myself, i want to be in a committed relationship with someone who takes me seriously and wants what i want. i want to plan a life with somebody and not only plan it out but to online it with them as well. i’m ready to settle down, fall in love and start a family in the next 3-5 years and it just seems like nobody wants what i want
I hav a feeling she will have an excuse not to meet in person.
You never did trust her. It seems maybe she lies because you blow tiny little things out of proportion. You need to get help for your insecurities.
Cool. Now, do you do that with everything?
Everything you eat? Everything you buy? Everything you use? Most people don't, even those who are making an active effort of some sort.
Another thing to consider is that not everyone thinks the same things are unethical.
Your gf is absolutely a terrible person
She’s very secretive about it. She told me she mainly talked about her career and financial stress
Give the ring back, send marketplace links to the gifts he has given you and don’t pay him shit but ask him to cover your std checks.
I don't see why you feel the need to “turn around my arguments” as I am trying to see things from his perspective too. I made this post for that exact reason so I don't understand why people are are so angry.
If he wanted to celebrate it he would have asked me to hang out, if he does not that's his decision and I am not going to make him celebrate a holiday he may not like.
Although I do feel like some people here could have been nicer, I do feel like i understand it a bit better how
He’s lying about his “feelings” to manipulate you into not going naked at him (possibly even legally?) for not having asked for your consent while taking those photos.
I hope you can see this. His actions speak louder than words. Don’t delude yourself. Cut him off and move on, it is what it is.
Next time vet the guy better, especially since Fwb relationships rarely work out fine for both partners.
Be a man… Raise your son…
Once again, naked to say. If we are talking about rent and it’s something that effects both of you and there needs to be a solution then he is in the right
But if it’s something that can wait and doesn’t directly effect him then you’re in the right
There are two possibilities:
Extreme social anxiety. He's a player, and he's not spending time with you because he's preoccupied with other women. Or he's married. Or something else shady.
Two months is a while. Have you just been texting the whole time? How did you meet and how well do you know him?
Does he give you a reason for telling you to be patient?
If #2 is the reason he is acting the way he is, you will eventually catch him in a lie.
If the reason is some kind of social anxiety, then that's more understandable but you still need a way to move forward. Can you call him, or he just doesn't want to talk on the phone at all? Would he feel more comfortable meeting up with a group of friends?
I do try to reassure her that I do want to be there for her, and she does tell me that sometimes it’s sorta crazy that I’m so genuinely eager to be with her and be there for her, but other times I may thoughtlessly say something or act in such a way that makes her feel like a convenience. Today I told her I would call her soon, but neglected to tell her that after I’d said that I’d run into some issues at home that prevented me from calling her, a fact that I’d mistakenly thought I mentioned. It made her feel like she didn’t matter, even though she knows it was a mistake, but I just keep blundering and it’s naked for me to identify where I can address myself, you know? I know what I need to address but every time I do I slip up somewhere else and it’s very disheartening haha.
(And yes, she’s a bit of an over thinker, we both are tbh)
Dude, forget her. Break it off with her and let her go. Find someone who likes you for you and just wants to be with you.
Don't waste anymore time with her.
and gets upset when I mention some problems that she has that I would like to see change in her.
I'm guessing the “problems” you want her to work on weren't listed in this post because you knew they made you look bad.
I never understood why people need to share literally everything, when they can just contribute to a pool for family expenses
This was sexual assault and im so sorry this happened to you… what you should do is dump him as fast as you can
Doesnt matter if until now he has always respected your boundaries… one time of him crossing boundaries this glaringly extreme is enough
If he truly respected you he would never have done this, there is no coming back from this
He betrayed you, he broke your trust and needs to disappear from your life
Dont argue with him, if you dont online together (which i sincerely hope so), you dump and block him, no need for a face to face conversation or a phonecall, at most you can send him a text saying im done with you, you sexually assaulted me and i dont ever wanna see you again, do not contact me in any way, you and i are through
Because females also have kidneys, ureters, bladder and urethra, whereas males don’t have a uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries, etc….
That is literally unbelievable!
Showering and cleaning are two different things. Especially if he showers or takes naked baths to soothe muscles. These actions could make him smell worse due to sweating. They could also make bacterial infections like yeast worse. He needs to start cleaning fully with a disinfectant soap such as dial. Then an antiperspirant for the pits and possibly for the grown area.
Underwear and under clothes in general need to be washed with soap and water as the soap will help emulsify body oils and will help kill bacteria. Once he has established good “known” hygiene standards and if he is still smelling he will need to see a doctor.
The biggest issue from a conversation stand point is how long you have let this go. When you finally tell him he has stunk for months to the point of missing out on sex and smelling at work is trust. I simply wouldn’t trust someone that let me be in an embarrassing situation for months. Imagine you had a booger on your nose. He tells you he noticed it two months ago. Meanwhile you have been to friends, meetings, and many stores.
Ps if he is a guy and takes 3 to 4 showers a day he is 99% addicted to porn and masturbation.
That’s absolutely valid. For me I feel it’s more of a courtesy than anything if we’re in the middle of chatting and he’s going to be busy for a few hours to just let me know as we only really get a couple hours to chat in the evening, but everybody’s different!
does….does she think we all have magic wands to fix the man she married AFTER he cheated on her many, many times?
its been 8 months we've been dating, but ive known him for longer just as a friend
You should never be getting a cosmetic surgery that you did not think of wanting for yourself. If you do this for him he’ll ask you to start changing other things about yourself as well when this surgery is done. It won’t stop there.
So you only saw him a couple times a week and then decided to move in together, where you’re together every second? Not smart girlfriend. You had NO idea what he was like at home.
Me and my bf were together for four or fives even six days at a time before we even talked about moving in together. He didn’t know I leave the lid off the toothpaste, even tho we had spent that much time together I still felt like a “guest” when spending nights w him so I was on my best behavior. We online together and I’m comfortable now and he also leaves the lid off the toothpaste! He had always put it before.
Until you’re spending more than like 50% of your week w your partner I don’t think you should think about living arrangements. Living together is naked, you both came from different living dynamics and now you gotta figure it out.
Yeah, she usually offers to pay it reaches for her wallet before I do. So idk
Oh look, another dude who only decides to stop being garbage after the woman he's been abusing finds the strength to kick his ass to the kerb.
You should stay single, and get therapy. I hope she lives her best life and finds someone who treats her right and respects her from the very beginning instead of treating her like property.
Well if your weekends are precious then you won’t have time for a side gig.
You found out he's married…yikes, sorry. Do you know a way to get into contact with his wife? It might be an option to let her know, but you should only do so if you feel safe – its not always going to be as simple as “just tell her” if this guy knows where you online and is that aggressive. This is also so that you could, if need be, use that as a sticking point if he keeps coming around. “Leave me alone or I will tell your wife.” You could also say “we will tell your wife” to let him know you have someone out there looking out for you.
Are you sure it wasn't just an expression you were making with your face. Sometimes my husband makes odd faces but I usually just give it a minute and he changes his expression
If she chooses life with you, I can almost guarantee she will resent you later. Resentment is toxic and you don't want any of that.
She was never your friend. Never. A friendship doesn't work like that, it's about mutual support, that she never gave you, and both reaching out to each other, that she just doesn't do, and sharing experiences together, that she's not interested in sharing with you. She kept you around because you do things for her, it was always convenient to her to have you around while she had to do nothing at all. Just block her number. And seek therapy, so you can find out why do you let people to treat you like this and how to have healthy friendships in the future
If these conversations aren’t coming naturally, idk what to tell you. Maybe start by sharing more about yourself and your past, or expressing your opinions on this and that. Then ask, “what do you think?”/“Has that ever happened to you?” etc.