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Oscar_nika, 24 y.o.
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Date: September 24, 2022
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Like they feel like they've been wronged and I offer them solutions they don't like. For example, if you don't like the conversation topic you can turn off notifications. Nobody is forcing you to join. They apparently don't like that
Always remember that us guys think more with our dick than our head, and we are nowhere near as emotional as women, tycially. As I guy I could have the worst day ever, feeling real shit, and if my GF come to offer some sex I will instantly feel better… you need to communicate what you feel and want very clearly to guys, we don’t read minds, signs or hints most of the time, women are much better at this in general!
I don't know what pics are on my phone right now. years worth transferred over.
Well, he wanted to get a PhD and become a pharmacologist or organic chemist, so it would have been detrimental to him to not get accepted into university.
This is what he says as well and in fact I do feel like 50% of my strengh is gone and like 80% of stamina as well but yes I am stressed. I'm 38 and lived for 34 years as a single woman. My husband is same so we are both used to do stuff and be independent. So it is stressful for when I see that he struggles to get free time for himself due to work, home duties, duties related to taking care of elderly parents (we are both single children so we do have duties over parents and grandparents) etc. I bought him few days in mountains but he refused to leave me home so…bummer. Notes it will be.
he hopes her to be happy even if it’s not the happily ever after he wished he could of gave her.
Tell him you hope he finds happiness, even if it isn't the happily ever after he promised you.
You talk to her parents. “I can't stay in this relationship any longer but your daughter has threatened to harm herself if I leave. She could really benefit from therapy right now. I'm letting you know that I'm ending the relationship so that you can keep an eye on her.”
Then end it and block her so she can't manipulate you into coming back.
As someone with ADHD, I really relate to sometimes not answering to messages. For me personally, I get overwhelmed by too many messages or I get distracted when I’m really busy, so I tend to ignore them until i’m in the right headspace to answer.
Maybe check out r/ADHD or r/adhdwomen for some helpful tips or to ask advice. Also, i think it would be best if you communicate your worries to them. As someone who is quite chaotic and who can forget such things because of the ADHD, I appreciate when people communicate their issues direct and clearly to me. 🙂
goodluck trust me dont overthink too much just stay close to your gf and try to have fun, it can always go way better than what your thinking, so dont overthink yourself out of a good time and trust me she will appreciate that
No offense but as a guy also in my late 20s, the last person I want to talk to is a 16yo girl. Even if there’s no creepy intentions from the guy, it’s still very weird.
What? I was a poor emancipated teen from Detroit when I joined during peace time in the 90s. You sound like a bitter asshole who hasn’t grown up and can’t take anybody questioning him and has control issues. See a therapist
Well then I’m screwed ?
Well then I’m screwed ?
Well then I’m screwed ?
thanks. this was helpful and non judgmental.
thanks. this was helpful and non judgmental.
thanks. this was helpful and non judgmental.
No, you called me sad and mocked me for asking a question. No where did you say, hey this is concerning – and maybe think about leaving this relationship. Maybe read your own comments back.
Well then I’m screwed ?
I know it took me awhile to move into a dominating personality in the bedroom and it was only cause I was scared of hurting my partner.. if your partner is significantly bigger then you that may be where his hesitation comes from. I’m 6’5” and my girlfriend is 5’4” so I was scared to be rough with her cause I didn’t want to hurt her.. now I know she can take pretty much everything I can give hahaha but it took communication of her telling me not to worry as I wouldn’t hurt her
I know it took me awhile to move into a dominating personality in the bedroom and it was only cause I was scared of hurting my partner.. if your partner is significantly bigger then you that may be where his hesitation comes from. I’m 6’5” and my girlfriend is 5’4” so I was scared to be rough with her cause I didn’t want to hurt her.. now I know she can take pretty much everything I can give hahaha but it took communication of her telling me not to worry as I wouldn’t hurt her
Anyone who trips about body counts is not mature enough to date.
No, you called me sad and mocked me for asking a question. No where did you say, hey this is concerning – and maybe think about leaving this relationship. Maybe read your own comments back.
U need to dump him- !!!
She should learn to read the room, such as not not creating an awkward situation
You sound like his bestie, the way you're defending his bullshit on this thread.
Stop. Does her own thing?
Use her. I mean a mentality. She exists for you. It’ll help u not get nervous to start
I saw you say in another comment and in the story that he told his wife, family, and friends about you (even though you also say he pushed everyone away and has no one in his life…)
what did he tell them? Have any of them talked to you? have you talked to any of them? If they know you are his supposed next gf then why weren't YOU invited to Christmas dinner?
Because he told his family that someone live thinks they're in love with him but he he's so glad his wife finally decided to take him up on mending things and they're planning on kids.
You need to really think about WHY there are plot holes in your story. Someone is lying. It's most definitely him.
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Oh I like that !
Propose this instead. What ever you both have before the marriage is seperate and yours if you walk away. Whatever is earned during the marriage is joint and to be shared equally.
i don't even know if he's told his friends!
You have been with him for four months and you don't know if his friends even know about him? In most relationships, you would've met his friends by now.
He is keeping you at arm's length of both his friend and family, family is understandable at 4 months, especially with how they can be (according to him), but his friends? It's time to ask him what the hell is going on.
i don't even know if he's told his friends!
You have been with him for four months and you don't know if his friends even know about him? In most relationships, you would've met his friends by now.
He is keeping you at arm's length of both his friend and family, family is understandable at 4 months, especially with how they can be (according to him), but his friends? It's time to ask him what the hell is going on.
i don't even know if he's told his friends!
You have been with him for four months and you don't know if his friends even know about him? In most relationships, you would've met his friends by now.
He is keeping you at arm's length of both his friend and family, family is understandable at 4 months, especially with how they can be (according to him), but his friends? It's time to ask him what the hell is going on.
i don't even know if he's told his friends!
You have been with him for four months and you don't know if his friends even know about him? In most relationships, you would've met his friends by now.
He is keeping you at arm's length of both his friend and family, family is understandable at 4 months, especially with how they can be (according to him), but his friends? It's time to ask him what the hell is going on.
No, they need to know now, he's made threats against all of you. Talk to them first and get the police involved if need be.
i don't even know if he's told his friends!
You have been with him for four months and you don't know if his friends even know about him? In most relationships, you would've met his friends by now.
He is keeping you at arm's length of both his friend and family, family is understandable at 4 months, especially with how they can be (according to him), but his friends? It's time to ask him what the hell is going on.
Good question
I think he was raised catholic,
But I’m fairly certain he’s an atheist and jokingly states he’s Muslim. He’s sarcastic 99% of the time tho
Your fiance uses any time he's not sober as an excuse to try and cheat on you (not to mention, he sexually assaulted one of his employees). Unfortunately, he can say that this isn't him all he wants, but it obviously is. It's a pattern now. How many times do you think he's done stuff like this that you haven't caught him? I guarantee you didn't just happen to catch him the two times he tried to cheat on you. And one of the girls said she just is pretty sure nothing happened in person, but that isn't a guarantee.
All of this is under the surface with him, he clearly has poor self control. What will be the next thing he uses to justify his bad behavior? Frankly, I'd be going to go get an STD test of I were you and maybe looking for a new place to live.
Kinda very hot not to get involved with someone this guy fucked already, if what OP said is true and he's whoring around. So is every guy that knows him from now on supposed to ask him for permission to sleep with a girl, because there's a good chance he already fucked her? Because that's what it's coming down to.
Lmao I like game of thrones but those scenes make me extremely uncomfortable and I skip them
Yes. It was Apex.
Is your husband concerned at all about your lack of sex drive, or is he more concerned with his sex needs? I'm assuming you haven't always had a low sex drive; maybe you're all touched out from the kids. And idk, but I'm kinda icked out by the fact you can't reach him. Regardless of what he's doing, he is still a father, and he does need to knock that part off.
Why waste time on an idiot live? You don’t get anywhere, they are usually dumb when they start it and make u dumber at the end of it
There is a reason why, at least in the USA, there are different degrees of assault (first degree, second degree, and third degree)
Assault can be anything from dumping soda on someone, to breaking someone's leg. The punishment will depend on the degree of assault.
This a minor case of sexual assault. One that may not even be taken seriously in court as couples often live with “implied consent”. It's the whole reason that you don't have to ask someone you are in a relationship with to kiss them every time before you do it.
Not that OP is taking him to court, but if it were it would probably just be seen as a case where implied consent was blurred on the exact line drawn and likely be thrown out. It would receive a very minimal 3rd degree punishment at most, but that is pretty unlikely compared to just being thrown out.
IMO OP's best move is to talk to her boyfriend about boundaries and maybe making it clear that if she isn't entirely awake that he should check with her first before assuming she is awake enough to do something like that and be okay with it.
There is a reason why, at least in the USA, there are different degrees of assault (first degree, second degree, and third degree)
Assault can be anything from dumping soda on someone, to breaking someone's leg. The punishment will depend on the degree of assault.
This a minor case of sexual assault. One that may not even be taken seriously in court as couples often live with “implied consent”. It's the whole reason that you don't have to ask someone you are in a relationship with to kiss them every time before you do it.
Not that OP is taking him to court, but if it were it would probably just be seen as a case where implied consent was blurred on the exact line drawn and likely be thrown out. It would receive a very minimal 3rd degree punishment at most, but that is pretty unlikely compared to just being thrown out.
IMO OP's best move is to talk to her boyfriend about boundaries and maybe making it clear that if she isn't entirely awake that he should check with her first before assuming she is awake enough to do something like that and be okay with it.
Don't be so weak. Defend yourself.
Yes. I buy him flowers and chocolates and his favourite snacks. I take him out on surprise fun dates. I cook for him and bring him lunches for work. I’m always there when he says he needs me and I’m patient with him when he’s feeling low and can’t fully take care of himself. I feel like I do so much for him and I’d gladly do it for the rest of our lives because I love him. I do not feel like I’m asking for anything I wouldn’t give him. Do I need to be the one to ask him to be my valentine ? Would that be a healthier perspective ?
Blocked. Lol
You are not ready for a serious relationship and even if he wasn't cheating you have work to do on yourself. This is your sign this relationship wasn't meant to last.
This is an extremely good opportunity for you to grow up as a person. You can either learn from it or not. I suggest you learn from this and move on.
Unless she’s trying to make you believe that you’re crazy, it’s more likely that she’s too arrogant to admit that she is in the wrong.
It could also be that admitting she is wrong in this one matter makes her lose power on another matter that you are both in dispute about – something she cares more for.
You can’t look at relationship problems in isolation, because we do X because we are upset about AB and C.
People make mistakes. What I see in her situation, she was willing to reconcile and regrets what she did to her husband. It’s a case by case basis, and It’s different from someone who is unapologetic about doing it.
Thank you!!
If you haven’t already I’d ask why he didn’t tell you when he RSVP’d. I will say I had plenty of my husbands friends RSVP attending without telling me if their gf’s were coming. We ended up having to follow up. The other thing is that he could be lying for whatever reason.
The next time I cheat I’m gonna try the ole “she loved to fuck and gave fabulous head” defense.
I seriously don't know what to consider right now… she got tons of green flags but on the other side she goes into full cold hearted demon mode while fighting with me
Do you want to end up with her…tell friends is fine but let you know if that changes. Talk to her a lot, hand out seldom, occasionally make plans then cancel tell her something came up, go on dates with other girls. Tell her about your dates,ask advice on haircuts, occasionally what you should wear, what she thinks about girls you are dating.
This keeps your options open, and allows it to be if she wants it. Lether want you, let her chase you. Be available just enough to keep her interested and jealous of the other girls.
Yes its a power move,it's one girls use all the time. You put her on the bench. 21st century. Equality. Always be understanding of her problems offer helpful advice. Don't always be available, don't be rude, and don't brag about girls to her, only talk about some good things that make you happy about these girls some, but always talk to her when there is a problem you need a female perspective on.
Psychologically will think you deserve better, they are. Her competition and she will see herself as better and want tobe there for you
Why do you need proof?
She either is or she isn’t
If she is, you won’t want to be in that relationship.
If she isn’t, you clearly don’t trust her, so why be in the relationship?
Either way you should just end it.
There is high-conflict personality and there’s abuse. Your wife sounds like she fits the latter.
She should be upset about the lying, but she needs to realize lying is part of being an addict. So she's naive to not be as upset about the addiction.
Have you? Because I couldn’t recognize my own house or street on acid. Everything looks familiar but a little off.
The bracelet incident was a symptom, not the problem. Even if it had been from an ex, the solution is not to cut it off while OP was sleeping. That's just creepy and wrong.
And there would've been something else soon. Example: “Hey, what do you want to hang out with new friends for, you have me!”
When she gets home serve her an eviction notice, as well as the screens hits! Contact her job and contact the wife of the guy she's smashing
You gave no advice but was ignorant and assuming a bunch of things , hello anybody in there? Lights are on no ones home i can see lol
I see some ppl recommended a few things but an easy thing to do is take a photo. Have her take a picture of the furniture piece she wants to move and hold her phone in the spot she wants it. It’s easy to do and will give her an idea of the new layout quickly.
I used to move furniture with my husband but after breaking my shoulder (separate incident) I started the photo trick. It works in a pinch!
Nah, this is the wrong perspective. I honestly doubt your classmates will even notice you don't have support there. (I wasn't a med student graduate but I graduated from a med school with other health graduates. If anything I felt a little out of place for having several people to support me. No one was judging lack of people.) If it comes up, they'll forget quickly.
They definitely won't pity you. You're graduating medical school. You are doing it whether or not you have other people. If anything, isn't it impressive that you did all of this without a major support network? Go. Celebrate yourself. You're a doctor. You need to celebrate it.
And if you still want to have your family's support, that's fair. Go to a nice dinner or have a party with them afterwards. But your brother chose to make his wedding date without consulting you. You don't get to choose the day you publicly become a doctor.
I missed my graduation and I regret that still 20 years later. Don't miss it!
Also, if you were my friend I'd attend your graduation with no pity at all!!
Guaranteed, someone definitely got a video or some other to the new company. He must’ve been bragging too. So the ex-job knew who to send the evidence to.
Why have I read this exact story before somewhere else?
Did she cut off their contact completely?
She has told you about it, so I would assume this the whole story, in which case you should work on your relationship. I imagine your communication is a first problem, as you should have addressed your issues together. Besides that, you tell you understand that flirting with people other than your partner can be a “thrill”, but this can't ever happen again. Make sure she understands that while you forgive her, you will likely keep thinking about it for a long time.
Ask her what she would think about not going back?
Telling her that you don't want her to go back is unfair. Some women really need that time out of the house, working a job that gives them purpose and extra money. See how she feels about it and go from there.
okay..5 year difference…sorry I didn't know it was a crime. Literally read the post.
Yes, and he needs to admit he opened her message. They both did wrong. But we don't have her side. Idk if he's been pushy or gets upset easily over these things. They both have horrible communication skills with each other.
But I kinda wonder if it's just lying in itself that is upsetting him or the lie of that he wasn't invited. Is OP upset because he wanted to go to the wedding with her or just upset that she felt the need to lie instead of just telling him she would prefer to go without him. Both have their own conversations, and possibly different outcomes.
whats she gonna do the next time shes drunk and not thinking straight ?
Sounds like you knew she was into you and you aren’t attracted to her but you used her to sext and get off and then played it off as a joke
Nah, as an introvert and a woman, I totally get OP and don’t think he was rude in the slightest! OP’s wife just seems to have some antiquated notions on proper unexpected guest etiquettes.
Like bruh, there’s an unexpected guest in OP’s home! And he’s unwell! What exactly is he supposed to do!
tak to your current GF. There is no easing her into it. If you refer to ex-gf as just a friend, and the full truth comes up, all hell will break loose with your current GF and she will think it's a confirmation of her jealousy. Try to meet ex's new BF, and maybe your approach to your current GF would be around double dates and play dates.
But most important of all: can't you find other friends?
What you should do is not hook up with strangers on one night stands.
You're too young to limit your life opportunities for a man who doesn't share your dreams. He will survive. You will flourish! Spread your wings OP, have fun.
Can't I be with her during the fight? I just care about her soo much. I don't think I like relationships anymore. She is perfect and will always be perfect to me.
It’s incredibly dangerous to drive when you haven’t slept like that. He literally put her life in danger for nothing.
Children are *extremely* expensive. You're making the right choice, and if she chooses to leave then you should let her. Otherwise, you'll resent her for pretty much forcing you to have and take care of a child before you were ready. Which is life-changing.
You’re even crazier than his wife.
He wanted to open it for HIM to cheat on you with your permission. But didn’t want you doing the same. I’m sorry, that whole scenario says “living with a dirt bag.”
I'm not defending him at all. That was literally the first thing I wrote in my original comment along with my last line advising that OP would still be smart to break up with him. But go ahead and just ignore what I wrote and argue against a strawman.
And, yes, I also use logic when giving advice as opposed to just letting my emotions convince me why something must be true even when it's impossible to know for certain.
The dad can benefit. And the op.
Most women who get abortions suffer with ptsd, trauma, anxiety, depression, and guilt the rest of their lives. Not to mention all the hormone fluctuation. Not really a simple clean quick fix as people make it out to be. Abortion is unnatural
Leave and never speak to your family again? That’s what I would do
How often do you guys “joke” with each other?
When was the last time your joke made him react negatively?
Your joke sounded like a jab at his masculinity, is he sensitive/insecure about it?
He’s not innocent himself for ditching his family, especially when you’ve got 3 kids on your plate that you’ve had to look after.
He doesn’t have to like the family outing but he should’ve just sucked it up for the kids. Though, his behavior would’ve soured the mood and ruin the fun for the kids if he had stayed with you.
However, the cops are going to view this as a domestic disturbance and likely only warn him.
It sounds sus. Best case he's telling the truth and that means he condones and is willing to hide his friends cheating so it likely he will cheat himself
worst case it is what it looks like and he cheated and he's lying.
Either way its bad tbh.
You're already being a fool by choosing to stay with a man who dictates who you can/can not hang out with