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ITS SQUIRTEMBER| LUSH IN +5 | 1st Shot 777 | 11 SPANK ME | 22 222 22222 LOVE ME
Date: September 22, 2022
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Cut ties with him, don't do anything. And he's an idiot for telling you about that.
I don't believe in privacy when it comes to committed relationships
Do you really respect someone that neglects their dog?
This behaviour only has consequences for the dog. He needs to be taking responsibility and training.
I mean, if he hasn't gotten it by now, he probably won't. I'm not saying leave the guy. But maybe you need to weigh your pros and cons in the relationship, and see if it's worth continuing.
Yea, it 7 years later. All good.
I didn't expand (too much). But needed to add. I never thought SHE would cheat…. but at the end she did.
Just keep your eyes peeled. Good luck!
7yrs and a planned future vs nostalgic feelings you had when you were 15ish. This single choice can easily burn either bridge, which one do you value the most. Why do you value it the most, (ie why do you like him, why does he excite you, why do you trust him) ask for both people. Finally please don’t think you can get away with hiding the secret, this can very easily crash and burn miserably. Good luck to ya
Listen, I give a ton of advice of this sub that I fundamentally stand by. But I’d never advise you do what you’re asking.
It’s just not an appropriate action in an argument. “I feel this way. You disagree? Well look, [these people] agree. It’s going to mean nothing to a partner. It’s more than likely going to make the situation worse.
If you’re going to use an argument from here, then use it as your own and stand by it. Pointing out that others agree won’t help.
Let the drama rivers flow freely! ?
Girl you need to leave. Sounds like a lifetime of misery. Staying with you out of pity? That would make me never turn back
That will be your children one day. Lose him now.
I mean I’m not saying what OP did was morally right it’s not, he should have check in because from what I’m saying he didn’t really check in to see if she was okay. What I’m saying is I don’t think it qualifies as rape
No – you have all the right to do what you want sexually.
If he does not understand you need to get rid of him. If he tries to force the issue it is Sexual Assault and attempted rape.
In short he is in the WRONG and you are in the RIGHT!
Why have 2 kids with a guy who wasn't committed enough to marry you?
It's a gift, he can give waht he likes. When she's 19, you'll both have a better idea of whether she's ready for an expensive watch.
But worry about that in 19 years, and just thank your dad now.
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Thank you for your insight
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It depends on when he first told her he won’t have kids unless she stays at home. If this is the first time he’s expressed this requirement, then yeah it’s manipulative. You don’t get engaged to someone then tell them they need to change their life plans if they want to have kids with you. It’s fine to expect one parent to stay home, but that should be communicated pretty early on.
Not saying that’s what’s happening here for certain, but we need more info. When did they start talking about kids? And when did he first say she needs to stay at home to have them?
Who is who
You can do whatever you want but most people in general don’t want their partner having relationships with their exes unless children are involved. I wouldn’t put myself in a situation like this if I was your girlfriend. I would have left long ago. I’m pretty traditional. Like did your mom have her old boyfriend come over for coffee when dad was at work? Na.
She's probably just spoiled. Her parents seem to be enablers here
I mean i would be fine if she had a really legitimate reason like if she had a job or a tough school schedule, I have no problem waiting if she really wants to be with me.
but she doesn’t have much on her plate at the moment and I feel like not talking is a result of a lack of desire rather than a lack of time and I don’t want her to be in a relationship with someone she doesn’t really love
I would actually love to, if that's fine with you. I'm creeped out. Sorry you went through the same thing!!
I vote to break up and date your friend because Ted doesn’t seem to have time for you and the little time you get with him, he doesn’t seem to be able to converse like an adult.
It’s great that he took care of you but that can’t be a reason to stay with him.
Breaking up doesn’t have to be a long process and require you to listen to “I’ll do better” and keep giving chance after chance after chance. Four times is enough. You’re not happy and that’s really all the reason you need. Tell him it’s over and wish him well. Then go be happy with someone who treats you better. Don’t regret it. You tried multiple times. It’s just not the right relationship for you.
There is a difference between can’t read to won’t. He’s a turd because he refuses to educate himself
You’re going to let this ruin your marriage, because you’re not going to let it go. What happens when you can’t move on? Do you think your wife will want to stay married to a resentful man? You should really think hard on how to handle this situation. I think you need to start therapy, because something made you bring it up after 20 years. You’re not saying what, but it didn’t come out of thin air.
Also, your wife was 17 and she told you she wasn’t ready for a relationship. She’s a completely different person now. Do you really expect her to remember the exact date 20 years ago? What you’re asking is unrealistic. I understand your feelings are hurt. I get it. But this didn’t just happen in the last 5 years. This happened when you were both teenagers.
So I’m curious…now that you have this information what do you want your wife to do? You didn’t make this post for no reason. You didn’t ask her about something from 20 years ago for no reason either. So what’s your goal? What do you expect from her? You need couples and individual therapy, so you can cope with these feelings better. That’s the only way you’ll be able to move on.
Lmfao? Weird fetish? I believe they did a study and SEVENTY PERCENT of women have a rape fetish. Chill out my dude
You’re cheating on two women and think you deserve either. Tell them both that you’re a POS and get er over with save the new girl 3 years and save your old one any further.
That's birth control failing. The not 100% part. When it doesn't work, that is failing.
you do realise masturbation and porn don’t go hand in hand? she didn’t say she had a problem with masturbation
Like building lego houses 😀
Hey brother you’re young as all hell and have so much ahead of you. You can start your life over 5 times before your 30 and you’ll still have plenty of time to do it all over again a few times over. Don’t fool yourself into thinking this is it for you.
Reach out to loved ones and tell them everything then start making plans for big changes. Whether they involved you, your wife, and a marriage counselor or just you and a divorce lawyer is for you to determine, but you really should get that ball rolling. Your posts sound frightening and things won’t just resolve themselves. Reach out and get going!
Take sex out of it for a minute. How would you feel if your bf and his ex were both avid rock climbers while you don't share that interest? That she shared something with him that you do not despite both of you being fine with not having the same hobby. How does that feel?
Seek professional help. Find a therapist near you and work on letting go..
Everyone's tolerance varies. LSD doesn't put me on the moon till I'm dosing over 10 hits other side of the coin is that I have friends who take one hit and are fucked. Granted I haven't dosed in over a decade but assuming it's actually LSD and not some other drug like the 2C family of designer drugs it can be dramatically different from person to person and batch to batch. Same can be said with booze. Just because some people can handle combining drugs and alcohol does not mean all people can handle combining drugs and alcohol. As I said if he was blacked out it's sexual assault plain and simple.
Holy hell, I'd pack up and leave. This is not a scenario I'd be in and accept. So many red flags and so many reasons to leave.
Someone who is willing to have a threesome can not judge others for having a threesome. It’s as simple as that. He is a hypocrite.
He was blackout drunk, he admitted his mistake, and apologized. What else do you want? If you’re this insecure then perhaps relationships aren’t for you.
Get on to some probiotics. If you can, look at some that will help with thrush.
Does he frequently claim to not understand things when you bring up concerns/issues?
I mean my partner and I think it’s hilarious, neither of us would be particularly bothered. But we’re not you. Only you can decide what you’re okay with. Sounds like she wasn’t trying to hide it, maybe she thought it was harmless. Talk to her about your feelings and if you’re not okay with it, see how she responds.
Avoid her. Freeze her out. As little interaction as possible. Probably better just to walk away silently than to use words to discourage her.
The cops in her town won't care that she was ethical when she crosses their thin blue line.
Unless you can afford an attorney, bail and harassment from the LEOs in your town, I would avoid like the plague.
What happens if one of you dies or is in the hospital and need next to kin to make huge decisions, family of either side contestes. Marriage is to tell the government this is my person and they make the decisions when I can’t. It’s just pragmatic.
I’m starting to hope that this IS the end of your relationship.
Nothing about your boyfriend speaks of happiness. Only misery.
What exactly are you getting out of this relationship?
I believe wholeheartedly in consent, but this is just not how relationships work. if every time someone in a relationship said “no” to something, the other person was immediately deemed abusive for expressing their feelings about being rejected/not being seen/etc, it wouldnt go anywhere. there’s a difference between forcing someone and wishing to communicate your hurt.
How much time to you play video games? Or watch TV?
But we’re talking just travel right? Not never leaving the house? Plenty of people think they are going to be big travelers and life gets in the way.
I get overwhelmed planning trips so eventually we just don’t go. My husband hates beach vacations, they are my dream vacation. He wants adventure I want to just hang out at a tropical resort and walk around a cute downtown. Also tropical vacations are easy to plan whereas a trip to Alaska is so overwhelming I get bad anxiety.
Wait through ages 8-13?
Was he pressured into it? I guess 12-13 is when puberty starts so some sort of sexual stuff can happen there but 8-11 sounds to me like he's been victim of sexual assault as minor himself.
What's worse he then did it to his baby sister when she was 8?
I dunno OP but from my view this is not normal nor healthy. I'll give him benefit of the doubt that he did that because he was just a kid and his hormones got better of him so if you want to stay in the relationship you just need to push it as far to the back of your memory as possible.
Two points in this reply make me wonder.
You say – All my savings went into this wedding – and
our home is solely in his name –
You had a 5 years long relationship. How that was decided and structured? Was his home before you got together? Or, he suggested this arrangement? Did he use his money to pay the house while you paid for living expenses? According to your answer one could even contemplate a long and patient plan on his part to trap you to where you stand now. If this is the case I would stretch my finances a little more, even borrowing it from friends and family, and get professionals involved (financial and legal). Good luck to you and your children.
And just leave
I'd wait it out.
If she’s married she may have been uncomfortable with all the convos they have been having. I would ask her.
Im not controlling, im jealous but im not controlling. I probably overreact…… We both respect each others space. Maybe I will tell her that i dont feel comfortable with some situation and talk to her….
Yes?
And that was a whole thing bc at first in our relationship I was doing majority housework and cooking and we had several arguments before he started doing things like dishes/vacuuming/cooking without asking me first.
Ah… So this whole thing is extended passive aggression. He will do the things he's agreed to, but he will do it so that it really irritates you. And eventually you will tell him to never do the dishes again, and boom! he's gotten himself out of doing that chore.
You are married to a toddler, and he shows no signs of growing up. It will probably require professional help (and a desire on his part) for him to do so.
Because she's in a committed relationship with a man, and has two children on the way?
I'm sorry if this is a surprise to you, but most people in healthy relationships don't like their partners fooling around sexually with people outside of the relationship.
I know this is asking a lot, but maybe it would be a good idea not to get hammered. If you can stay alert, you can make sure everyone is okay.
It is not an accident. You know you can't handly your alcohol and you still keep drinking.
I’m sorry for you it’s a shame Yes he s probably very stressed. I’m 100% for a compromise
Be excessively professional. Only talk business around her
If necessary to the conversation mention me and wife. (“We” is perfect) as often as possible
Maybe the unspoken part of what they’re saying is that you’re with a partner you’d feel comfortable doing that with. Obviously if my partner asked for something more expensive and expected me to carry the lions share, I’d be like, whaaaat? But like, I’ve been in situations with friends where I made more and we all wanted to live together, and I was like, I wanna online in this nicer place with you guys, so I’ll pay more and we can work out what you can pay to be comfy.
If anyone had ever just told me to pay more so they could live in comfort above their means, I’d be pissed.
But yeah, I can see where the expectation is iffy as hell put in a general way in threads like this… but I really hope no one moves in with anyone who demands or expects things of them. Or moves in with someone they wouldn’t mind or enjoy treating or being kind to!
She didn’t know your intention because you didn’t tell her. She was a random woman, you had just met her. It doesn’t matter that it was the first time you’ve done it. You can try to justify it any way you can, but at the end of the day you gave your phone number to a random woman you just met at the bar and didn’t tell her you had a girlfriend.
high value man
Yikes. This phrase is why I’d leave.
Of all the places to stash cash, let's put it in the room where like 99% of housefires originate.
This guy is an abusive piece of shit, obvs, but he's also dumb as fuck. Why is he stashing cash, rather than putting it in the bank, anyway?