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Date: September 13, 2022
White lie. Nothing can be done about it now, and you said she’s still beautiful. Anything else will just make her self conscious and lose confidence.
Fuck your boyfriend, he has no empathy.
Your Dad being in your life and visiting is a non-negotiable.
So the bottom line here is, your boyfriend doesn’t want your Dad (your only close family) to stay over once a month because your boyfriend can’t tolerate your father’s behaviour?
It sounds from your comments that your Dad has ADD and can’t help a lot of these traits and your boyfriend has no tolerance for it.
This is not a person you want to share the rest of your life with. Once a month is not a huge amount of time, your Dad is not being overly burdensome and he probably misses seeing his only daughter.
Do not bring a baby into this situation. The solution is pretty simple: have an abortion, get good birth control, and enjoy the process of seeing who you are, who you vibe with, who you don't vibe with. You're 18; let yourself be 18.
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You honestly need to end this situation before it escalates. Stop lending him the car and stop showing any interest in what he is doing. He'll either get the message real quick or he's not worth keeping around.
It sounds to me like you’re all over him about stuff (banging fists and “leave me alone). Idk, doesn’t sound good at all.
Your father is blindly stumbling through life with not a care in the world for another living being. He is entirely consumed with himself. He’s a drowning man looking for anyone nearby to crawl on top of and use as a raft. Unfortunately love blinds us as well and some people are willing to accept being a raft because they care so deeply for the person they hope that he could be. I don’t think you can convince your other family members that he’s a lot cause, but I suggest never letting that man near you again.
How much money do you make? Why do they want to marry so quickly?
I used to say that about kids I didn’t like them but hubby wanted one. when I had my daughter I fell in love everything in me changed
It isn't even a very good line. Definitely not worth hitting someone over. I bet the guy actually does want to get back inside his mother and that's why he got angry.
how so!?!
I would let them go and not get upset. He's doing an errand with a friend at the least romantic place on earth. You can see him in the morning and that same night.
My husband has ADHD and we were having a nude time communicating because he would blow up and get angry at every little thing. He’s now seeing a therapist and psychiatrist and things are a million times better. I’ve also been in therapy and have been seeing a psychiatrist for years. He said that his medication helps a lot and he feels much much better. We almost never fight now. He’s also much happier, less stressed, has almost no anxiety.
Just saying, I think it can really help.
This doesn't sound like one mistake. This sounds like a series of mistakes that ended up one giant fuck up which was the slap.
I'd maybe consider cutting back on the drinking. You sound like a mean drunk.
It's better to be alone than with a leech using you for your money and housework.
This is likely just commitment panic and my honest advice is to not act on it no matter how much of an issue it is. Because the phase will pass whether you act on it or not, there's a much much bigger chance of regretting leaving to do it than regretting staying and it passing. You're nearly 30, have a committed long term relationship, settle down and have kids, your whole brain chemistry will change and you'll mature and “I want to fuck about” will not be a thing at all.
I wouldnt be surprised, I'll look into it and ask my doctor. Thank you!
In person he is very aggressively, but wouldn't hit me. He's just unpleasant when he drinks.
it's simple, you don't have a girlfriend
You should not be trying to push through your trauma with your boyfriend. You need someone with training to deal with this and who doesn’t have the complications of an intimate relationship with you.
Is your name on the lease?
sounds like you are still closer than friends, at least emotionally since she has this control over you. neither sound healed from the break up. it's probably best to go no contact while you both truly separate and heal. since you have no courage to do that, the best way would be to type out that you feel you both are still too close and it's nude to heal when you're always around each other triggering fresh wounds, and you want to be friends but you think a period of no contact to heal is the best way to go about it. then BLOCK. HER.
you need no contact to separate from herself and you need to stand up for yourself and establish it. otherwise, if you keep accepting you have a push over personality, you will always allow yourself to be controlled by her, it will effect future dating and you will stay unhappy. I realize you respond to everyone with “I can't do it I'm a pushover ” in which case nothing will change. if you want change you have to be an adult and set and hold boundaries
🤨 I hope he does break up with you, because you have some serious issues going on…Stalking your boyfriend is unhinged. Get therapy please.
Like I said in the comments. I’ll probably just have his grandparents on his father’s side watch him. I didn’t ask them because it’s a long drive to drop him off
Cut her off and be more unpredictable with your next gf
Yes, you have to apologize here. They were both trying to help you, and you shit all over them.
Also, you should break up with your girlfriend since you clearly don't trust or respect her.
He slept with a MTF? Girl, run.
Holy age gap. Do you have any friend/family social social systems?
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My partner (26m), and I (26f) have been together for two years, and are getting married VERY soon. I feel like the closer we get to our date, the more anxiety I’m feeling, and I feel like it’s more than just cold feet.
We rarely have sex. And when I say that, I mean about once a week on average. I’m attracted to my fiancé so much, but I feel like we want completely different things in the bedroom. I like to be dominated, and I feel like he doesn’t put much effort to meet my needs. We are comfortable talking about sex and our preferences, but then nothing changes.
Towards the beginning of our relationship, he said some hurtful things that I’m still trying to get over, but every time we have sex, I always think about them. Long story short, he told me that my pussy has an unpleasant smell and when I told him that I make a very conscious effort to keep myself clean, he said that other women he’s been with haven’t had that problem. And then along the same lines when we were talking about grooming, he says he prefers it bare. Like absolutely nothing. And I try my best but I don’t want to be 100% bare all the time, I don’t love that feeling. And then again he said that other women didn’t have that problem to stay bare. And he’s since apologized, a few times actually. But those words hurt so bad, and since then, I feel so self-conscious in the bedroom.
Maybe about 4 months into our relationship I asked him if he watched porn. And he said that he did. I then asked him if that was something he thought he could give up if I sent him spicy photos and videos of me, which he said of course and seemed very on board with it. For the next YEAR AND A HALF, I asked him on occasion if he masturbated while I was gone and he said yes. Which I’m all for. And then when I asked him if he ever watched porn again after our conversation towards the beginning of our relationship, he said absolutely not. And then would always make a BIG deal about how he loved watching my videos and it really turned him on. Well about a month ago we were talking about it, because he said he masturbated that day, and I asked him if he still watches my videos. And idk if I caught him off guard for a second, but he kind of stuttered and was like ..yea. And I could immediately tell he was lying. Then, long story short, I came to find out he was lying to my face the whole time and was watching porn. Every fucking time. When I thought he was watching me. And I was livid. Then he was saying how he needs help and how I need to keep him accountable and check in on him. So he asked me to ask him if he continues to watch porn. So 4 days ago, he was taking a long time in the bathroom. And I had declined sex that morning because I just started my period, and what do you know, he was watching porn and masturbating. Now I didn’t hear it, but I asked him what was taking so long and he said that he was going number 2. But when he came out I could tell he didn’t. And when I started questioning him, he started to get upset saying that I don’t believe him and that he really was going number 2. But I was right. I asked him again later that night and he confessed to it all. I don’t know what the hell to do. He asked ME to check up on him, and then makes me feel crazy for questioning him when I know he did it.
So yea…. Our sex life is in the shits and I don’t know what to do.
If she hasn’t responded to your message by now, don’t go to the funeral. It will likely annoy her.
I was in a very similar situation at exactly your age. My ex’s grandfather passed and I sent her what I thought was a very thoughtful condolences card. She interpreted it as me being clingy and not giving her space after our breakup a couple months before. And to be truthful, I can say with the passage of time that she was right. I was being clingy. I tried to convince myself I was doing this because she would appreciate the kind words, but I was really doing it because I missed her and this was a way — however tenuous — for me to stay in her thoughts/her life.
If you want to maybe get back together with her at one point in the future, I honestly think you stand a better chance of that happening if you don’t go to the funeral. And if you’re not interested in rekindling things, then it serves zero purpose for you to stir up emotions by going to the funeral.
He’s insecure because he probably has a small d*** compared to your ex
Move on and date someone who doesn’t repeatedly make you feel insecure and lie to you.
Not being ok with porn is valid. If he wants to be in a relationship where his partner is ok with porn, then you both need to find more compatible partners.