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Date: September 26, 2022
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Wait I worded that wrong I meant like if it’s valid to care about this a lot. Yeah they can dislike me if they want, but I didn’t mean they couldn’t
Housekeepers are cheaper than divorces. If the thing that is driving you nuts is a service that can be bought, then consider buying it and taking the cost out of his allowance. The bigger issue is contempt. He seems to think he's above contributing. Ask him why, point blank, and don't let him wiggle away until you get an answer. Make him explain why to you.
I do, too! If it's alright with you, I'm gonna message you.
She does. As does my own. But they can't see it that way. ??♀️??♀️ and it sucks, but at the end of the day, all you can do is love her son and on-line a happy life with him. If she can't appreciate that, that's her own problem.
I do, too! If it's alright with you, I'm gonna message you.
She does. As does my own. But they can't see it that way. ??♀️??♀️ and it sucks, but at the end of the day, all you can do is love her son and on-line a happy life with him. If she can't appreciate that, that's her own problem.
I'm trying to read this with my western influence as I'm assuming this is a family honor sort of deal.
You are not disgusting and I'm so sorry you have been made to feel this way.
I really hope you can escape your toxic family and on-line a full, happy life x
Look man, most guys who have a gf that tries to set this type of limit just lie to them and watch it behind their back. It's the old “you're only lieing if you get caught” or “what they don't know can't hurt them”. You're already doing better since you're really trying to do the right thing.
Me personally, I set my own limits. Either she can never turn me down for (some kinda) sex, she let's me have a side chick to take care of things, I can watch porn, or no commitment. My exwife choose option 1, but she had a higher sex drive than me ? and I wasn't allowed to turn her down either. I've had gf's pick options 1, 2, and 3. Truthfully, I prefer options 1 or 3 but you gotta be willing to be somewhat flexible with #1 (like a hj or bj).
Meh me and my husband talk about exes but we’ve had some shiznet exes. I see my husband as my BEST friend. Not just as a husband. Then again we’re gay so maybe different???
What they said lmao
I would! If I found out my bf would go down on his ex but won’t on me, I would leave. Absolutely.
She doesn't respect you. Whatsoever. If she did she wouldn't do that with your bf and bring up your insecurities in that way. She thinks she's better than you. She also doesn't understand boundaries and forced your bf to be there.
She's immature and selfish af. Why would you want her in your life? She will always think she's better than you.
May I ask why you think wanting a world without hate constitutes being high and mighty? It’s certainly not my intention to come across as pompous or holier than thou
Oh shoot. I’m familiar with the pacific crest trail and immediately read it as a 5 day trip. My gosh 5 months???
Your using religion as an excuse to allow your daughter to grow up in an abusive household
Please tell me, if your daughter married a man like your husband would you force her to stay woth him because divorce isn't the Christian thing to do
It's not The first time she has accused me of cheating, The feelings stem for her feeling betrayed because of my porn addiction.
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Well, yeah, getting with her right now isn't really something I think I can do because she's with someone else and as someone else said I don't think Id trust that she wouldn't cheat on me. I wanna get over her, but it's been 4 months or so since we stopped sleeping together and talking like we used to, and we really only knew each other for 5 months. It also sucks because I don't know if I'll find someone else as emotionally accommodating as she was for me.
I hope that you face the truth about your situation.
You don't need that. At least not on almost all western countries. If there is a divorce and one earned a lot more money than the other, they have to pay allimony. You also get about half of the belongings that you had as a couple. You need a contract if you do NOT want to give up half your stuff and pay allimony in case of a divorce.
The question is not if “the education goes to waste”. The question is if you want a carreer or children and being a great supporter for your husband. There are studies right now that many women in their mid thirties to firties who have great carreers are actually quite unhappy. They wish for a family, a man and children.
They can't find men that they want. Women normally want men that are “above them”, especially career wise. Since having/earning a lot of money makes men a lot more valuable to women, they think that their career should make it easy to find a good man but men do not care about that that much. Especially the men that themselves have a lot of money literally don't care at all if a woman makes a lot. They want a young, beautiful woman that is agreeable and has time whenever they have some free time, which is quite scarthe for these high career men.
If you are 50 or 60 and you look back at your life, do you think you will be more happy looking at your career and all the money you made or will you be more happy looking at your 1-3 children and maybe grandchildren and that great family that came from you. This is an honest question and while most people will probably be more happy having the family instead of the huge career and a lonely life, some want that.
I left my machete behind in the US when I moved to England because everything I read and researched about the laws said they are illegal to own or bring into the country.
You're being lied to and manipulated so you fit the role they have for you in their fantasies.
Hunny, I turned 49 in July. My amazing bf just turned 61. He's the love of my life. We have a wonderful, wonderful relationship.
You have time.
Great update!
Good for you!
What she's doing is absolutely not a problem.
Learn to accept responsibility.
Learn what privacy is.
Learn what healthy boundaries are.
Learn what communication is.
If you are willing to hold a grudge more than actually solve an issue, than you are, most likely, not ready for any relationship.
There is no place for any third parties in your relationship. I'm not talking about mental support/family system or cases of domestic abuse. Healthy relationship is between you and a partner. Only.
No, there is no need to go through someone's devices – with or without permission. You either trust someone or you don't. If this trust is gone, no amount of “allowed” snooping will fix the root cause. No amount of mistrust, ironically, will stop someone who's set on doing something inappropriate – they'll just hide better.
There is no need to pass the blame onto someone when both parties can be in the wrong. Someone being “more wrong” will not help you solve the issue.
And why do you think a colleague should have any say in your relationship? Maybe, her private life is so messy and questionable that the Satan will whistle in amusement. You can't know someone else's intentions – sensible people do not give “advice” on such sensitive topics. They stay clear. If that colleague suddenly decided that she can give relationship advice, I'd ask for her psychology uni diploma.
What should you do? Mature and learn how to communicate. Ideally – with your partner. Half of this situation could've been avoided by talking as adults instead of going into some teenage drama mode.
Great advice, thank you 🙂
She doesn’t want you do react in a rude way to her.
Maybe you don’t realize it but if you do it a lot they just pile up over time and every one hurts a little more.
So people prefer not to be spoken to in a condescending or rude way lol.
Good that your making an effort though. Be nice to your lady!
So much bs. Break up with her.
However, her husband could’ve explained it to her. He could’ve brought crate in for her so she would at least know what’s going on. He kept it a secret. He was dishonest with her frankly I wouldn’t stay.
From your past posts, he’s back at it again. And a liar. But hopefully y’all worked through it and this was a weird outting that he cleared up before you could hear from others around town.
Oh come on, I hardly think one or two drinks before work is a big deal. There’s parts of the world where that’s completely normal, like Oakland for instance.
I’m not saying he should be getting drunk, but finishing the last glass from a bottle of wine the next morning isn’t a red flag.
But just a few months after that, she began to drastically change: closing into herself, seeing each other less and less, always complaining about anything/random people, not keeping promises…
You also say she’s raising a child on her own, is struggling with unemployment, had to move back in with her family and has an abusive ex, so maybe all that is due to stress? Closing herself off and seeing you less is the same thing, self isolation and often happens when people are stressed, also an abusive ex can cause that as well. But it sounds like instead of feeling compassion for her, your just frustrated with her, and this other girl, she’s happy and easier to be with, so your drawn to that. Feel bad for your gf because what you need to do, sounds like you’re not willing to do. Cool it with the friend while you work to get your relationship back on track with your gf.
Brilliant idea! Maybe she can be at her sisters hours during the bfs business trip and have sister call him to talk about it while he listens in. If sister is unwilling to try this then something is up with her.
The truth will out. I realize you are not the primary one making the decision to keep this secret, but the best thing in almost any situation regarding a child's parentage is to tell them before they find out from anyone else.
I don't know the situation though, and again realize you're just supporting your sister. But be prepared to apologize like crazy and the possibility that your relationships with her will never be the same. That she will never have the level of trust for you both after finding out from another source.
Well no because I’m a woman so I highly doubt she’s trying to get pregnant by me
Trust me, you don’t want to spend your life with someone who thinks you’re mentally ill. Imagine how that’s going to play out over 4 decades; the condescension, the disrespect of your mind, your heart, your soul. This guy is poison for you.
I’m glad you’re still here 🙂
You can't be like actually serious, right? What exactly is he doing besides raping her? News flash, women also like sex but no one likes sex with a rapist that can't accept no. You don't have to be physically available for anyone if you don't want to. If he leaves, then so be it.
If you think sexually assaulting someone just because you're married is okay, then I hope you never get married or even have anyone look in your direction.
Don’t forget a very hot knee to the dick. We don’t need predators reproducing.
If she is not talking, maybe write down your feelings and thoughts in a letter and give her some space.
It sounds like you two aren’t sexually compatible, and you don’t need a justification for breaking up other than “I want to break up.”
Most people don’t stay with their highschool sweetheart, and for good reason. People change as they grow, and the person you thought was right for you at 17 often isn’t right for you.
She sounds rude and I can already tell she’s going to have a very hot time in life with the attitude she has and the perch she is on. I’d leave her…
I would distrust a statement like that too. But you should ask a bit further and find out what's behind it. Still, I don't think this is going anywhere for you. Best of luck.
Why were you dating her so young?
You did nothing wrong, please don’t blame yourself for their backdated believes.
If I am correct forced marriages are illegal in most places. His choices are to ruin his relationship with them (which honestly is not much of a relationship at this point) or elope (again, why not?). Forcing a marriage will ruin your lives and the life of the girl he’d be marrying.
You should also post on r/Muslimmarriages for better advice.
I wouldn’t. I’m not sure at what point you discovered he was looking for someone else, but it would be a betrayal to me, the minute I knew.
This should be the top comment. OP is marrying someone that treats her like dirt – he physically, verbally and emotionally abused her. Somehow OP has talked herself into the fact that it is still okay to move forward with this abusive piece of shit. Please , OP , cancel the wedding. Break up with this monster. Go not commit yourself to a prison sentence of living in hell with this monster. He will destroy your life.
You’re 29 years old suggesting a teen hook up with a guy twice their age, you’re quite frankly disgusting. Get help.
Yikes. She sounds insufferable.
sucking vibrator.
That's really rough. I know it can be intimidating, and obviously you have some real disadvantages. I also have an anxiety diagnosis. I know everyone's journey is different, but anxiety is something we can learn to on-line with and even (to a different extent for each person) overcome with the help of medication and/or therapy.
Also keep in mind that anxiety makes us weigh the negatives more than the positives. Height and acne aren't the only things women care about. And as you get older (especially past 25ish) you'll see that most women stop caring about those things entirely. It becomes much more about your personality and if you want similar things in life.
Okay, I'll try my luck. Just fyi I'm not from the US and if I fail this, I'd be repeating the year, not just retaking a class.
After reading your edit, you should’ve dumped this girl along time ago. It’s not too late start today.
This is a “her” problem.
I can see it escalating again though as she will keep arguing with you about your family.
You are the only one that can decide if and when you’ve had enough of it because it at not ever stop.
She’s decided she’s the innocent party here despite her behaviour being the cause of your breakup which indicates narcissistic behaviour.
If you want to stay with her you’ll just have to put up with this major character flaw ?♀️
OP, unconventional take: Is she comfortable asking for sex? Is she comfortable with you asking directly, “hey you seem wired- are you feeling horny or silly or anxious or something?
I’ve seen this behavior before if someone’s horny and shy about expressing it, so it came out as physical prodding and silly questions, like asking for a “play with me!” conversation.
If you’d turned toward her and started making out, that might have been what she was looking for. When you didn’t reciprocate so she may have started feeling insecure and asking insecure questions about sex with other people (bad strategy, kids!) even though what she actually wanted was physical and sexual connection.
Being playful and talking about sex can be foreplay. Sex can be a great way to connect, wind down, and work off energy.
My ex was the same way. Even with evidence presented he would still lie about it. It’s like dude, I have the truth right here? His famous statement was “sorry you feel that way.”
What wild stuff would he want to do that you couldn’t do together or by watching porn or something.
From his view, you’ve never done this stuff so he’s probably worried that you’ll want to haha.
Every relationship is a risk. Don’t create problems that don’t exist. Life will give you plenty without creating them for yourself.
Remember, the most important thing is to be gentle and not hurt his feelings.