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Welcome to the Violetta world, 18 y.o.
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Live! Live Sex Chat rooms Welcome to the Violetta world
Date: November 5, 2022
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I think for the most part you are going to have to compromise more by either letting it be or by doing more of the work yourself. If you are passionate about being spotless then that's your choice.
Either this is fake or you have zero respect for your wife. This is something that should only be discussed between the two of you. You're now making her personal trauma and a possible “crime” public. Why?
You prefer to be pragmatic in the relationship yet your entire thought process behind the relationship was anything but that. You got into a relationship with someone who had body issues and was a heavier build which you clearly aren’t attracted to or ok with to guide her in a sense of comfort to make her change herself to fit your tastes.
Does that not sound incredibly manipulative to you? Imagine if she did the same but with getting you to gain weight so you’d be more like her? Does that not sound incredibly wrong?
Also what was it that you said to her? How far did you go? Also what did your girlfriend do to get in legal trouble? These things are important to know when making an accurate judgment of the situation.
Also how is her idea of love “effortless”? how is her idea “like a Disney movie”? She seams to be taking the majority of the steps towards any communication in this relationship. In fact I’d consider your idea of love to be effortless or Disney like because you expect to make her change her lifestyle yet haven’t changed yours, you don’t take any initiative to communicate or make actual solutions. You refer to not giving unsolicited advice as biting your tongue as if it’s some sort of favour for her. You compare giving basic empathy and sympathy as being affectionate when in reality that’s the bare minimum of a relationship, however you said you “weren’t affectionate but working on it per her suggestion” but what was the suggestion? What did she specifically want you to work on?
Also if she apparently is making you feel bad for “worrying about her well-being” then why is that? How heavy is she? Is she suffering any illness? Any conditions or disorders the weight she has can make worse? She apparently is a athletic trainer for a profession. Don’t you think she’d know what she was doing? Also while weight can impact health, it’s not the sole indicator. Being a little over weight won’t have that much of an impact. Also some people are supposed to be slightly overweight as it’s a survival mechanism the body has and it’s called metabolism. The metabolism varies from person to person. For women it’s a lot slower than men’s because of factors such as estrogen, the menstruation cycle, hormonal imbalances, conditions such as anxiety or depression, age and fertility and medications they take. Just because she’s slightly over weight doesn’t mean she doesn’t respect herself or value herself. In fact she’s very clearly doing that as her body issues are as a result of other people doing to her what you did. She clearly wants your empathy and support to reassure her she isn’t in the wrong for the body she has and she clearly doesn’t want to change her body.
You have been in the wrong the moment you started a relationship with her because you never dated her for who she was in that moment but for what you wanted her to be. You don’t get into a relationship with someone and hope you can manipulate her into a new lifestyle while you don’t do anything in return. That’s not exactly a fair relationship. It seams like you want her to put more effort into it than you currently do.
You mentioned you had conversations about trauma. What traumas exactly and what makes you think you guys aren’t “making it better” or that you are “marinating in our suffering” as it seems to me you are not taking control of your trauma and rather trying to fix her trauma by doing the exact thing that probably caused the trauma in the first place.
She made it clear from the start that she wanted support and reassurance within the relationship. While you didn’t make any of your wants clear until you were already invested with one another and eleven then you weren’t upfront about it but tried to slowly slip it in so she wouldn’t notice until it was already too late. That’s not in anyway ok.
You are not trying to make this work. You are trying to make it go your way. You are checking out because she’s not letting you walk all over her they way you wanted. You have put no work into the relationship but she clearly has. If you were serious about caring for her health you’d have a proper sit down and conversation with her and let her voice her sides and opinions. And if she shows that the advice is unwanted then it’s unwanted. It be understandable if it was a self destructive situation like if she was an alcoholic and you try bringing the subject up but even then if she rejects your advice stop handing it out. If her lifestyle is a dealbreaker then leave the relationship. Shop continuing the relationship expecting her to change her life to make you happy.