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Room for on-line sex video chat yoursuneta
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Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: September 24, 2022
You either leave or most likely contract it. Both aren’t the end of the world. Most people in adulthood have “the mouth kind”.
That's not the point. The point was so over your head, that you would have to squint at the sun to see it.
Acting like a face-to-face hang out is equivalent to having time for texting or anything else is also disingenuous.
Good questions. I don’t like how this sub is talking about her sister as if she was a rabies dog. She is mentally ill, not the joker. They can talk to her about psychological care once she is in their house.
What an invasion of privacy , she sounds insecure and controlling
Then you begin to resent him over time because you never wanted him to watch it in the first place. How is that fair to him? Or to you???
Please break up with this person. You both deserve better.
You can always untagle things. But it's your choice
Well once you said DD, my advice changes. Just tell him that you are not interested in discussing your ex with him, or anyone. Life is for moving forward not backward, and you will not talk about ex.
Everytime he brings it back, ( if he is DD it may be a compulsion) repeat the moving forward not backwards line.
You need to grow up. Your post says he talked to her before y’all were together. You have no right to block anybody on his social media. People can’t be friends with their exes? What if it was amicable? Did you even know him when they were together?
I’m not but I’m nearly sure he does
That all sounds terrible. I'm so sorry.
Doctors are absolutely useless when it comes to taking women's health seriously. I went to a doctor in 2017 because I had PTSD, was in an abusive relationship and was suicidal, and he said (exact words) that I “looked normal” so he didn't think there was anything wrong with me. Yep, exactly the same treatment your girlfriend got. I was so stunned I didn't know what to say, but thankfully I was able to see a different doctor who took me seriously and gave me treatment.
Unfortunately, that reaction is very normal for women. Even with something as serious as a stroke.
Have you thought about taking legal action against the hospital?
you shouldnt
Hey, are you sure your university is not organising any Christmas events for students staying in dorms? Or maybe you have a computer science group chat and can ask if anyone else is spending Christmas in dorms?
Lmao he claims she just drove by and got her stuff out the garage and he was really sick & hungover Sunday but I wasn’t there so that could have happened
You know what you sound like? A passionate fundamentalist Christian explaining why their way is the only, true way to lead a fulfilling and healthy life.
I am not a religious person, but people like you honestly fucking sicken me. You think you're on some noble crusade against religion, when in reality you're doing fucking nothing to change anyone's mind.
You're not mentally equipped to handle this kind of conversation, so maybe leave it to people who are.
I don't know where you based this comment, but me dealing with addiction certainly does not mean I watch porn all day, on The contrary I am working quite hot to not watch porn at all….( I hope you understand that this kind of comment feels like a personal attack) especially since I “won't fuck my wife” is also quite far fetched; maybe I did not write openly enough that for the past decade all but few of my advances have Been quite coldly shut down. I have Been initiating quite frequently several Times a week,but dealing with thousands of rejections over The years has inevitably affected My self confidence and made it easier to just ignore my own intimacy needs…And The toy was bought after quite invasive and intense surgery to allow her to get to know herself again once she is healed…Exclusively to take The pressure of sex off from her shoulders and do it at her own pace.
Almost certainly not.
I 100% agree-
Replying with something like “Do you want me to have a crush on you?” Will get you an answer and take the next step towards wherever each of you choose to steer the situation.a
In my experience if a girl is saying she knows you have a crush on her, and not just once but repeatedly? She totally digs you.
It's kind of like saying “Hey- You know you don't have to be shy right? I already know you have a crush on me. So ask me out already!!!”
Leave, but make sure to send his buddy and wife a copy of that short story. He is fetishizing her and that’s the reason for the visits, and they deserve to know that. Your husband is disgusting and you can do better.
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Yeah that’s what caught me too. Everything else was fine or could be with context. Offering to be a marital counselor to someone you’ve already been seeing alone is a no go. Maybe for a session or so here and there, but even then, most counselors would say no.
If it’s a special menu he might be in a profit mindset and can’t afford to give out freebies since it’s probably one of their biggest money making nights of the year. If it’s business I wouldn’t take it personal however if there are other “free guests” there then I would question it.
He’s very hygienic so idk if he was just in a rush after that particular session ? but yeah ew
He’s very hygienic so idk if he was just in a rush after that particular session ? but yeah ew
Some people are what's called unconscious, they have no idea how their behaviour impacts on others.
He sounds like a terrible knobhead, keep avoiding him ??
[Little concern] She spends way more than me (that's also one reason why I earn more, “earn” here meaning salary minus expenses). I will add money into the common pot, she might spend it for whatever claiming that “it's for family”
Trying to write into your prenup that your money is yours and her money is hers really won't solve this problem. A prenup can't force someone to stick to a budget. If you each make $5000/month and she spends all of hers on designer clothes and shoes because she has a shopping addiction, you're still going to have to spend yours on food and the mortgage regardless of what the prenup says unless you want to be homeless and hungry.
[Biggest concern] What happens with my parents property. For example, we get married. A few years later me and my mom would like to sell an old flat and buy a new modern one. New one is more expensive, so I would need to invest a big sum of my personal money (likely earned past marriage) to buy the new flat (together with the earnings from the old flat).
This is something you'd need to talk to a lawyer about. Owning property jointly with someone while you're married to someone else is going to be complex and fraught with potential problems. Especially if you use joint marital funds to purchase it. A prenup might not even be able to protect you depending on what the laws regarding that sort of thing are where you live!. What you want to do isn't reddit advice territory.
He refused to delete photos which is obviously WRONG
All three of us went to the same school. She knew of him but were not friends back then. When we left school that is when he began messaging her. I was closer to him than she was, but none of us were friends per say
He’s too old to be acting like this, I had the same issue as a teen/early 20s with my ex. It’s only been 8 months and you’re constantly fighting, best to cut and run now – you know you want to, it’s hot but you can do it
Personally I wouldn't give her a dime until she apologizes. If she needs money then she can apologize for it and if she won't then she doesn't need that money. Also giving people money who are bad with money is just reinforcing their bad decisions.
Her satisfaction is irrelevant in a post where OP is asking what he should do because his wife is upset about their sex life? Ooook.
Lol I feel embarrassed for you
I don't need his permission. If this were my own country I would feel comfortable doing things I wanted but in a foreign country, it's hot to do these things alone and for the most part I depend on the family hosting me to provide for me. Things that are simple at home are hard in a new country. For example, while the Dutch use english fluently most things at the grocery store would still be in dutch. Or if I ran into a problem, I can't just make a phone call because my phone wouldn't work here.
The age gap question is fair. I had a slower start to adulthood so I feel that we're at a similar stage in life and that we're not too different, but I definitely think he has little to no life experience training. His mom seems to do everything for him and he has no motivation or skills to step up. I've mentioned this before but I'm not sure if I'm getting through to him. How do people convince their SOs to learn independent living skills like cooking or shopping?
?
misfire indeed.
Glad you ended it my friend. On to better things.
I would take them to mean the same thing
Yep exactly mine just cheated then found out she done this to every guy pretty much. So she would cheat in the relationship hide it then ask for open and say you can sleep with whoever. When she wasn't getting she didn't get her way your not taking me out enough not enough money all material stuff.Or maybe just bored who knows she stepped out one and the other guy before me same way I want open relationship after she already entertaining. I said I not into it but she of course slept with me few times while she began said I was just her roommate. Strangest part after 6yrs together and engagement. Last time I was with her she dressed up like a Santa she looked like clown. She cried after I was like then why you do this so obviously something not right with her what I learned. She go Prego and not by me. And of course we lived together still. So some ladies are diabolical and almost like they change into some other creature I hate fifty shades of grey by the way. That move.was.the beginning of the end that when she started getting serious into who ever she watch movie with whoever she was getting down with which I learned was multiple. Probably better I got away I wouldnt want to raise my kid. In that madness with such sexually selfish person. Was all about the multiple people and what she wanted. I don't think she even thought like that just oh well she didnt even want to move with the guy she got preggo by which I know of the guy from a past meeting in my life before I got with her small world. Yep this dude better ask questions boundaries respect is important. Never again will be ok with open crap well in my case she just like and cheat. Said I was crazy lol dlfeo wanting monogamy. I don't want worry about StDs all that this guy need to think about that also. I wish him luck and hope all comments here lead him the right path.
He’s a predator, as someone who’s at the age range of 18-20 it’s very scary how many creepy men over 25 would try to date or talk to me. I’m sorry you ended up marrying one of those creeps.
Leave him the f alone. He clearly doesn’t want to talk about it
great job kink shaming…..
Holy shit. You are both, well, all three are amazing. This is some wholesome hope for humanity that is needed. Sad, obviously, but still very wholesome. I hope all the best for all of you.
Need advice on how to remedy the situation.
DO NOT bring your baggage into a new relationship. Jake is not Tim. Do not treat him like Tim. You just threw a roadblock onto Jake and compared him to what you called an abusive ex. Really smooth.
Apologize. That's how you try to remedy it.
In the future keep in mind that someone not responding to you right away does not mean anything at all. You are not the center of the universe.
That said, I do not think you know what gaslit means.
Gaslighting: to cause (a person) to doubt his or her sanity through the use of psychological manipulation. Being on read is not that.
It was fair to ask him, and his defensive response instead of reassurance raises a lot of red flags. Why wouldn't you ask him? I do not believe for a second that he wouldn't ask you. His response tells me all I need to know. He's sus af
He’s racist. You likely aren’t going to change that in a grown-ass man. So the question to ask yourself is whether you want to put up with listening to this for the rest of your life.
It's the end of the road for your relationship.
She has digested these ideas and perhaps is using it as a foundation to engage with other men while still being with you, which of course you are fond of. I get the feeling she feels mighty just spewing out these ideas to you without considering your feelings about it.
I wonder what her rebuttal would be if you said you wanted an additional girlfriend.
When the question of an STD test came up originally, you claimed you didn’t know why you never had one.
But that is a lie. You knew that the reason you never had one is because you have never needed one. You could have said that. You could have been as honest as possible, and said “I haven’t needed to have one”, instead you said “I don’t know”. She knew you were being evasive & hiding something.
That, and the fact that intimacy was an issue, made her question how attractive you found her. You made her feel undesirable.
She asked you if you felt like you lied. It was your opportunity to reflect on how you handled it. The fact she asked the question means that she viewed it as a lie. Instead of taking responsibility for a lie, you downplayed it by saying “it could be viewed as a lie”.
You gave her a glimpse into what she could expect from you (to lie about important things and then try to use wordplay to get away with it).
You can't ask a person to stop eating Oreos, and they do stop, but then you stay upset that they ever ate Oreos in the past. That's not fair.
Book the bed next to yours let him enjoy a little waxing first up Good ole back sack and crack
5-6 hours ?? boy gotta push those numbers up ??
In all seriousness that’s not a lot of time. I could do 5 hours after a workday easy. On a day off double that, and I’m not even tryna be a streamer but he is.
You guys are LDR, it’s not like you’re in the house and he’s ignoring you to play games instead. He’s just giving you slow replies. What games does he play? Are there any strategy/sports/fps games he plays where he could just be on the phone to you during or are they all stories. That could be good?
But no, you’re boyfriend is not spending a lot of time on his video games. That’s like 2 movies worth of time.
Lmfao this is comedy gold –
“Then you all will get what you so desperately want to happen – that my husband finds happiness and I end up alone. *But I WON’T BE BLAMED FOR THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP *..I can live! with that.”
So quite literally in the paragraph before you claimed you “won’t be blamed” you were trying to give out his info in hopes he’ll cheat (and thusly bring about the end of the relationship)
Does “So all you ladies that want my husband – dm me and I’ll give you his contact and we’ll see if he takes the bait. That would help me if he cheated though I highly doubt he would.” sound familiar?
Honestly someone should get his contact info and send this poor poor man a link to this post. Seeing this might be the shock he needs.
If your faith is important to you then yeah, legit move on and search within the faith.
Ty that’s a good perspective. I think she does need therapy consistently not just the alanon meetings
No need to convince her… For whatever reason, the sexual and physcial chemistry didn't work. You've literally been on two dates. These things happen.
Be grateful she went no contact– You're five days closer to moving on.
(If you continue getting the “too rough” feedback from others, though, I would explore that.)
I think people forget that love is a choice you consistently make. If you’ve been married that long especially with daily stresses and kids, it’s easy to become complacent in loving your spouse. I personally don’t think you want your ex or anything, he’s just a reminder of the excitement and ease of love without life complications.
I get where you're coming from, but people are just going to hear it as victim blaming given the context.
And it might feel like that to OP as well and it seems like she's in a way kinda already trying to blame herself already for not being “enough” for her husband post partum. So I can see where people are wanting to downvote it.
Nothing happens in a vacuum for sure, but yeah people may not want or need to hear that while they're in the middle of just processing and figuring out a betrayal that perhaps recently happened.
The book is a good recommendation though!
I agree but OP also said “if it was a man he would've already filed for divorce so somehow it's different”
It isn't cheating is cheating. People should stop trying to justify it using their sexuality. Like if u want to sleep around get a divorce and don't gaslight ur damn husband into thinking ur doing him a favor by not sleeping with a man. ??♀️
Or get called out when you speak with less precision than your wisdom had the capacity for. God forbids a lot of things, but here we are. You’re not wrong, but you missed a shot at being completely right. It happens. Be well, friend. God will not forbid that, I am sure.
Back from the borderline podcast. Its very good and helps to move forward positively.
I didn't come here to crap on you. From the comments I've read, you're already getting that. If you want any chance of reconciliation, I say you follow your son's lead on this. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES try to shift or lead the conversation to what you want. Given the number of times you have lied to your son, the odds of him believing you are not high.
You also need to understand that this could be about closure for your son, and once he gets what he needs from you, you may never see him again. I still say you should be honest and let him get what he needs.
Your best chance is to give and ask for nothing in return. After all, you already cast him aside, destroyed what you yourself called one of his few close friendships, and lied to him over and over again. Getting past that, is unlikely.
She’s been watching Billions too much
Have some standards for yourself and remove him from you life.
Remember, you vet partners by their negative qualities, because positive traits are a dime a dozen.
There’s NO way you could stay with him. This is completely unacceptable behavior. He’s a liar. And most likely cheated. Get out.
All of this! Like holy heck your home isn’t currently safe
I think you were justified in your response except for the foul language.
Good luck getting in to law school with a 3.3
At a private and calm moment, just the two of you, ask her why she doesn't want to tell you. Try asking in different ways e.g. “Why would you wait to tell me until he's dead?” “Did he say or do anything sexual or assault you?”
If she tells you why, then explore that more and listen to her deeply.
Yes, the sister, who was clearly willing as she's a really sexual person, which absolutely never happens as a response to being molested as a child. OP and brother are really reaching by tying this to her sex drive.
How did you find this out, and how did you come to read her messages?
Sounds very similar to John. John was planning to have the wedding in the US, Jane has never been to the US.
If it's fine for either parent to stay home, why are you pushing it being the mother? And I've explained multiple times why the woman might be unhappy. You just aren't hearing me because you don't think that's important. Women aren't just incubators and child raisers. We are complete people with complex thoughts and desires. And we matter. Children need parents who are happy and fulfilled. A good work-life balance is important. Obviously spending an inordinate amount of time at work and not enough time with the kids would be bad. But it's not all or nothing if you have a good partner who does their share.
I have my kids with me every other week. And when I have them I don't go out with these friends, so they are not involved at all.
The snowflake is him. So cold hearted.
The snowflake is him. So cold-hearted.
She sounds kind of an idiot.
LITERALLY. The first time, maybe they’d get a pass but anymore than that….” Bro wth are you doing over there?” 2-3 times a night? Nah. That’s wild
I think we do, but he has always been very forgiving of his family (so am I, to my transphobic kid brother). He has a value to “assume ignorance before malice” which I somewhat share. But it doesn’t feel like ignorance to me anymore, since I talked to her about it.
Seperate, they dont have a joint acct.
I thought the bots were getting smarter. Maybe not.
My husband is like this, he is diagnosed and medicated for ADD.
Ive had many chats about how it bothers me that he doesn’t remember things and how it makes me feel unimportant.
With technology getting better we now have a shared calendar that we put events into and I remind him a few times in the lead up if it’s an event or occasion particularly important to me. He has got a lot better at being on time but it still happens. We made a rule to put all plans into the shared calendar which has stopped him from making plans over the top of other things.
So I guess it’s communicating what bothers you, and how it makes you feel then finding a solution that works for both of you.
his standards are really high. No one meets them. He complains about everything and everything makes him mad ? But, I just have a hot time justifying saying “your standards are too high and you need to lower them”. It just sounds crappy any way I even think about it, and I just don't know: is it wrong to have standards that high?? I mean, he is disappointed by literally everything and everyone but he has just very high morals and standards and I just can't really figure out if that's necessarily a bad thing? Btw I feel like you're getting me here, I just want to say thank you so much ?
This won't end well. Everyone is going to find out one way or another. The friend who has feelings for you will say they understand it's only sex, but in reality, it just makes the candle they burn for you burn brighter. It's cruel. You're using her for sex and telling her that you want to use her for sex, knowing she has feelings for you and won't say no. That's kinda scummy in itself, dude.
This won't end well. Everyone is going to find out one way or another. The friend who has feelings for you will say they understand it's only sex, but in reality, it just makes the candle they burn for you burn brighter. It's cruel. You're using her for sex and telling her that you want to use her for sex, knowing she has feelings for you and won't say no. That's kinda scummy in itself, dude.
It’s so uncomfortable. I have a terrible relationship with my dad, too which is ironic.
Okay you are right! I mean him and I have barely dated for a month now (but have been the closest of friends for about 2 years). I know he is 100% invested in this but every time he mentions things related to her like “Oooh that sexual content game? Yeah I played it with someone” and a few things like these here and there about “someone” is a little frustrating. He even mentioned a few things in bed about it so this character creation thing was just a bit hurtful! I am too afraid to say anything because I know how their relationship went- they dated for a year, never had any concrete reason for breakup, and it took him 2-3 years to get over it. She was truly flawless and they had a very happy relationship until well she just said something about it no working and left.
Here's my take. It's not necessarily inappropriate for your mom to talk about her trauma. But doing it at a family occasion is probably not the right place and time. Your mom needs to talk to a therapist and deal with her trauma. I'm sorry it was so off putting, especially if she's never done that before.
Maybe talk to your brother's gf and see what she thinks about it? If that's not too awkward. She might have a different way of looking at it.
I would also try to have some compassion for your mom. She's dealing with foundational trauma and it doesn't always go smoothly. You have a therapist and that's awesome.
He is either looking for a new girlfriend or he doesn't want a girlfriend at all. Dump him & find someone who actually wants to be with you.
Thanks for your reply. For professional help, see my edit at the top of the post.
Did you ask him to stay or hint around or worse, tell him to go ahead and have fun and expect as a rest that he’d choose to stay home? I only ask because these scenarios seem to pop up in this sub a lot and usually it’s a case of poor communication or being set up as a test.
To me, 44F, you weren’t sick enough to be in the hospital at the point when he left. He’s not a doctor. So not sure what he could really do for you other than make sure you’re set up with fluids and your meds and such. Many people prefer to just be alone and rest when they’re not feeling well.
That said, I’ve had quite a few surgeries and such and am used to being home alone after the first day. I can imagine that if this was your first big medical issue, it was kind of scary and it would have been nice just to have someone around.
Let him know. But don’t downplay his friendship either. Just because he sees someone once a year doesn’t mean they’re not important to him. I had people at my wedding I hadn’t even met in person before but had been friends with through a hobby group for more than a decade.
Just stick to your feelings without accusations.
sometimes I ask myself why everyone seems to be or has been in multiple romantic relationships and I haven't. And then I hear and read about all those really problematic relationships and I remember that I would just never settle for something like that. Like I would have been gone after the second insident if not earlier
self respect is not self esteem, and thus you can’t have too much of it. self respect is not a positive or negative, if you have it, it’s a neutral, if that makes sense. respecting yourself is not the same thing as being vain or narcissistic. it’s believing in your autonomy as much as you believe in others. you can be too cautious, you can have too high of self esteem, but respect doesn’t have a negative or pendulum swing to it. it’s just respect, and if you think it does have a negative, i would guess someone else raised you or taught you not to respect yourself, so they could walk all over you.
You have a good friend
So what happens if in a drugged stupor one of them starts a fight that gets you physically involved in something you know nothing about?
Happens all of the time
So what happens if she takes something, you’re seen leaving together because it doesn’t kick in until later, and now she doesn’t remember the ‘relations’ you had that night and her goofy ass friend starts putting questionable thoughts into her head about you?
Happens all of the time
It's over, and it's time to let go. You already know it. Be brave. There is a better life with someone else in your future.