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Birth Date: 1993-08-30

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Date: September 15, 2022

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  1. This is really sad, I've been where you are before where I had one (and only one) friend, who was my absolute best friend, and who I loved dearly in a mostly platonic way. It was great for ages. And then something happened, I still don't know what exactly, but he said he wanted to be with me in a romantic way, but I saw him as a brother. But it became quickly apparent that we couldn't go back to being platonic friends. So I tried the romantic thing, because he was my best and frankly only frirnd and the thought of being alone again was terrifying. But we were toxic to each other, we just weren't well matched and wanted very different things in life, and it just got really unhealthy. We'd break up, not speak for months, find other people, try to rekindle the friendship on a platonic level, but could never get past the toxicity. It the end it was me who walked away, and from what I've later heard from people who also knew him he was furious and said some really horrible things about me. It broke my heart that he said that. I really thought i was doing the right thing for both of us to walk away from the toxicity and let us both move on in life. But the only reason I was able to move on was that I made new friends.

    I guess the reason I'm saying all this, even though it's somewhat different to your story, is to i guess give some hope..this feels terrifying right now because he was your only friend, and his sudden change in behaviour is bewildering and hurtful, because it makes you feel worthless due to how easily he appears to be able to put you aside. You probably won't ever get full answers to why he's flipped like this, you may not get any answers at all, and even if you do get answers it may never be repairable back to the friendship it was.

    Let yourself grieve- this is a terrible loss of a person who was very dear to you, and it hurts because it's not like he's dead, he's choosing to damage the friendship. So you're allowed to grieve.

    But then move on. Go join dancing classes, hobby groups, social groups, Meetup groups, go learn a new skill in a social situation- and you'll eventually make new friends. And I guess you try really hard to make more than one friend, so your happiness and social outlet doesn't all fall on one person.

    I'm really sorry this has happened to you. Sometimes I still occasionally think of the friendship I once had and how good it was in its golden days. But it went through so much toxicity at the end that overall I'm glad it's over and that I and he have both moved on, and from what I hear amongst people who know him, he's happy too.

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